Kpop theories that are just facts but I canât legally say are facts because JYP will sue me, drain my bank account, and leave me more poor than I currently am, Part 2:
This opinion mentions the musician Kim Jonghyun of Shinee, his posthumous album, Poet|Artist, as well as his su*c*de. If the latter is triggering to you or bound to cause discomfort or shift in behaviors/thoughts, do not interact or read at your own risk. Thank you.
I rarely get to talk about this because of how sensitive some people may be to the topic but as someone who has attempted su*c*de before and struggles with su*c*dal thoughts, all I can say is: Poet | Artist was a pretty good âDamned if I do, Damned if I donâtâ album.
Itâs unfortunate that we lost Jonghyun, someone who refreshed and challenged the norms of the K-pop world with his actions and music, but I believe if he had not taken his life, this album wouldâve been seen as any other Jonghyun solo album. Weâd analyze the lyrics a bit, weâd praise the songs for having deeper meanings than what we normally hear, and weâd continue to say âyeah, thatâs Jonghyun for youâ, but knowing he has passed, each song hits much deeper.
The title track (Shininâ) sounds like any regular song, itâs a good song to bop to, but knowing heâs gone and hearing the chorus (âAlways be with youâ), itâs bittersweet to listen to, even if you werenât a hardcore fan of his. His following tracks, in my personal opinion, detail the harassment and prejudice heâs faced from the world in many forms as well as social mediaâs affects on daily behavior and attitudes (â#Hashtagâ and âSightseeingâ). And the final track (Before Our Spring) paints a picture of seasonal depression and how pushing through until you reunite with the people youâre accustomed to and familiar with will pull you from that dark place. But this is just my interpretation of the tracks.
Iâve been overthinking and overanalyzing this album ever since his passing simply because, had he attempted but came out fine in the end, we wouldnât bat an eye, he and the rest of the world can pretend that nothing had happened and heâs the same as always. If he had attempted but managed to be hospitalized or injured in a way that will clearly draw public attention, people will look deeply into this album and understand his frustrations, maybe not do much to ease those frustrations but itâll be clear the impact itâs had on him. And, with the results of him attempting and succeeding, this album not only let people understand his frustrations and struggles but know the consequences of neglecting his years of openness with his struggles. Even if someoneâs mental health isnât your responsibility to manage to fix, itâs still important to remember that it starts somewhere and heâs always let us know where it began.
Overall, I always thought this album doubled as a su*c*de note in a way but was constructed in a way that no matter how things played out, itâs message wouldnât change, whether people noticed it or not.
Again, this subject is a sensitive one and when first hearing of his passing, I couldnât get into a single song with sobbing. But after listening to the songs, analyzing lyrics, and coming to terms with the fact that a piece of what made my life as a K-pop fan so enjoyable was gone, I found some relatability in it all. I felt that, as much as I, other Shawols, and his friends and family didnât want him to go, this album served to show he went out speaking his mind and truth in the way he always has and knew best. Speculations over someoneâs death, especially su*c*de, is so taboo and most times deemed insensitive and rude, but I wanted to express the feelings Iâve had over this album for the past 4 years.
Again, these are all notions and opinions as I know many wonât agree, but as Jonghyunâs birthday is one month away, itâs just one of those days where i think about this album and how itâs a poignant reminder of how thought out someoneâs attempts may be and, in the potential months/year(s) it took to create this album, how much he really mulled over his feelings and came to this resolve.
But please remember that even if you feel hopeless or that your mental illnesses are only dragging you down, there are people and resources to help and you are not alone. Youâre in a chapter of your life youâve never experienced and itâs scary, but please donât cut it short because youâre scared of what the next page will bring. Rewrite the story a million times over until youâve found the happiest ending for you.
(I wonât be using my usual tags because I feel itâs a bit inappropriate for a post like this)