Raine

So, bored at work, here's my take on simplified Gnommish

I wrote out the original gnommish to the best of my ability, then workshopped the simplified below. Some of the letters look similar, but as far as i know that's common in many written languages.

Then, in my practice, i determined that double letters would overlap, because why not

A few days ago, on the 24th, me and my now ex-friend, let's call him Julian, were part of a siege on a human dwelling. The human in question had kidnapped one of Julian's officers.

I immediately proposed a tactical solution: to utilize a bio-bomb, which would fix the issue immediately with minimum losses to the People. Julian was immediately against this.

He proceeded to negotiate with the opponent, who was demanding one tonne of twenty four karat gold to retrieve the officer. He should have listened to me then, but Julian was apparently determined on wasting the People's resources. Later he even went so far as to call in a criminal for help.

While he negotiated, I spoke to the Council and got appointed Acting Commander. When I told Julian I would be sending in a troll as a way to get invited in and rescue his officer that way, he was appalled and attempted to guilt-trip me using our own personal history. It was at this point that I officially proclaimed us done.

When we sent in the troll, partially due to circumstances none of us could have predicted, but primarily due to Julian's department's incompetence, it did not go well and the troll, our deputy, was considerably harmed.

When I demanded Julian and his tech advisor hand over the disks of the ordeal, as it was crucial evidence for my hearing, Julian proceeded to use a tranquilizer dart on me, leaving me unable to take further action.

OR Why do these two feel like they share a weirdly specific DNA?

🏡 The Mansion

Addams: Gothic estate filled with traps, murder potential, and questionable tax status. Fowls: High-tech fortress with a panic room, a private armoury, and about three FBI watchlists.

🤓 The Child Genius

Wednesday Addams: Likes dissecting emotions and sometimes frogs. Artemis Fowl: Likes dissecting governments and occasionally morality.

Both could overthrow a small nation before breakfast.

💪 The Bodyguard

Lurch: Tall, loyal, communicates in rumbles. Butler: Tall, loyal, communicates in eyebrow raises that mean “don’t do that”.

Both could lift a car. Neither would brag about it.

🔮 The Supernatural Friend

Thing: Literal disembodied hand. Holly Short: An elf cop who can—and will—shoot you.

Both cause chaos. Both are delightful.

👪 Family Dynamics

Addams: “We love you, you strange little creature.” Fowls: “We love you, we’re just also emotionally repressed and rich.”

Same energy, different therapy bills.

Conclusion

Both universes run entirely on:

weird, rich families

trouble caused by smart kids

questionable parenting

I finally tried drawing my two babies again

How everyone else sees butler

First - I think that they actually got together quite a bit more, but only three were officially labeled dates, and that’s most likely because Foaly actually caught them and made it public against their will. Also most of their “not-dates” were the same thing that they did normally - food after a long shift, binge-watching trashy Mudman movies about monster sharks, the like. Except that they made out during these “hangouts” which was admittedly a change in dynamic.

Second - Holly and Trouble are actually fans of different crunchball teams. Holly roots for the Haven Hornets while Trouble is a diehard Atlantis Krakens man. They showed up to the game decked out in conflicting colors and gear and argued raucously with each other throughout the entire event, but the problem didn’t start until somebody else decided to butt in. Neither really remembers who threw the first punch, but they both ended up fighting their own team’s fans in one of the most confusing stadium brawls of the decade.

Third - Trouble suddenly distanced himself from Holly after the game - romantically at least. They’re still best friends obviously. Holly was somewhat hurt by this, especially when not too long after he started dating Lili Frond. This was actually a cover, however, and Trouble and Lili were running a sting operation to investigate members of Haven’s rich and powerful.