Artemis Fowl Incorrect Quotes

Root: Is there a reason why you can't seem to take ANYTHING seriously? Trouble: Jokes are a classic defence mechanism for someone with a traumatic childhood. Root: Would you like a traumatic adulthood? Trouble: (Briefly considers) ...I would not.

(A vital project must be completed for the LEP, and Commander Root has to turn to Foaly to get it done) Root: Foaly, what's the earliest we can have this thing ready? Foaly: Well, with what we have on hand? It'll take nine months, and we'll need six months to build it in the first place. Root: Three months. Foaly: Three? That's- Root: You're going to say it's 'impossible', and then I'm going to make a speech about the blinding capabilities of your Very Well Funded engineering team, and then you're going to do the maths in your head and say something like "The overtime alone will be a nightmare." Foaly, already making calculations: The overtime alone will be a nightmare...

(Artemis Senior and Butler are about to go out on a scheme behind Angeline's back, and are bringing a ten-year-old Artemis II along) Angeline: Another 'business meeting'? Artemis Sr.: Oh, uh, I didn't see you... sitting in the dark there. Yeah, no, there's an fire at the docks, I just got the call, they think it may be arson, so now I've got to go talk to the fire department... Angeline: Butler? (flicks light on) Is he telling the truth? Butler: ...I don't want to be put in the middle of this, sir. Artemis Sr., sighing: Thank you, Butler... Angeline, pointing at Artemis II: Why is he wearing that bandit hat? [Artemis II takes off his mask] Artemis Sr.: ...His ears were cold. He's not with us. (Points at him) Go back to bed. [Artemis II silently leaves and closes the door] Angeline: If what I think is happening, IS happening... it better not be.