Agent Minson

Why is it?? That I can go through the whole day feeling fine and dandy but the second I lay down for bed impending doom settles on me?

🤔 a compelling model

superstars

Finally, celebrities who won’t go on shitty rants on Twitter

when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..

in case the implied ending wasn’t clear enough: and then i get railed.

*notices a blue dot on the horizon* ah!!!! me pengy *a bullet passes right through my skull*

if a counter-sniper catches even a WHIFF of her baja blast tittums then all of the blood in their body IMMEDIATELY rushes to their Penas & balls and it stays there. they will drop dead in seconds

have y’all seen that nasa pic of the earth with the sun behind it on the night time side it really really fucked me up my own soul became solid and like………….. weeped!

That’s actually called the Overview Effect- something experienced by some astronauts that makes them see that “from space, national boundaries vanish, the conflicts that divide people become less important, and the need to create a planetary society with the united will to protect this “pale blue dot” becomes both obvious and imperative”.

do u ever behave politely and respectfully towards retail workers just to flex on freaks who blame employees for every inconvenience

This is, without hyperbole, the most cosmically huge dick energy ever

g…gamer dress

I’ll buy this and wear it

skin friendly

can u imagine being a scottish hogwarts student & having to go down to london only to sit on a train for hours and then be like a can see my hoose fae the fucking train ya entitled english cunts

I saw this and was like, "awe this reminds me of my love, I should send it to her". Then I noticed she reblogged it lol. ❤

once in my sixth hour we were talking about 9/11 and i announced very loudly “more people died in hurricane maria than in 9/11 but nobody really cares because you can’t use hurricanes to justify imperialism” and then not even 5 seconds later i said “yeehaw my beets.”

man and you were only six hours old