im addicted to this new thing I just made up!! its called buying singles from new mtg sets :D
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@vigilantsera
im addicted to this new thing I just made up!! its called buying singles from new mtg sets :D

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“…Yeah, thanks, but no. I don’t want a sponsor.”
The advertising team surrounding Chandra made a collective noise of disappointment. One of their number, a human in a business suit, stepped forward and asked, “Why not? Is it the jumpsuit? We can compromise on that.”
“No! It’s…everything to do with this. I’m not exactly a regular…cyclist? Biker? Whatever. People know I’m not a driver, so I’ll stick out no matter how I look, or how I act on the bike…” Chandra allowed herself a small smile. “Even if the sliding pose you picked out for me is pretty cool.”
“You like it? We’re actually referencing a-”
“Sorry, but that wasn’t an invitation to talk about it. My answer is still no.”
The businessman pointed to a long row of parked bikes and hissed, “Well, how else are we going to sell all these bikes?”
“Heh. Maybe I could just give them out. While I race, even.”
“Great…That was a joke, wasn’t it?”
Chandra smirked.
“Okay, look…You’re racing anyway, right?”
Chandra rolled her eyes. “Sure,” she drawled.
“You want to win first prize.”
“The Aetherspark, yeah.”
“And you need a bike.”
“Yep.”
“And you probably can’t afford a top-shelf one.”
“Probably…not.” Chandra sheepishly broke eye contact.
“And you’re not especially tied to Avishkar, so there wouldn’t even be any consequences for selling out.”
“I grew up here, and Mom still lives here. But…No, not really.”
“Then why not take a sponsorship? It’s a victimless crime, as far as I can see!”
“Because it’s not…!” Chandra leaned in close. “Vehicle magic is not my usual thing. Fire is. You know that!”
“Well, I guess you could sprinkle in a little fire here and there. The flashy pyrotechnics could make for a great grand finale, after all!”
“Only a finale-” Chandra gritted her teeth. “Fine! But don’t expect me to hand out those bikes.”
“Actually, part of the contract we’ve drafted up mandates-”
Chandra’s hair burst into a wave of fire. Yet the businessman merely gave a polite applause.
“Yes, just like that! Only, maybe save it for the end.”
[DFT Chandra’s card is a far cry from any other versions of her! The only thing that still feels like her is the bolting ult, and even that’s still artifact synergy.]
“Listen kid, red players and blue players have been mortal enemies since the beginning of time”
*camera cuts to a red player and a blue player leashed to each other, making out, touching boobs, etc*
*stepping out of FNM covered in hickeys*
“I think Izzet might be too good in Standard right now.”
mtg's the hobbit set is fucking hysterical because as it turns out there are not enough things in one very short book to make even a small magic set and so they are literally having to make cards of every ranbdom sentence that was said in the book just to fill slots
i mean this is still a million times better than Radical Pizza Cowabunga garbage but i mean. This is literally ridiculous what the fuckj are we doing here
“RADLEY WILL YOU EVER SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT JACE BELEREN MPREG”
maybe someday.
turns out i will never ever stop talking about jace beleren mpreg

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Magic Forge: Realm of Legends
I realize I never posted about this here, but a big part of what has pulled me away from writing this year has been that I made a quite extensive full conversion mod for Magic the Gathering Forge, a magic fangame.
Mine is called "Realm of Legends" and its commander based.
Similar to the old 1997 Magic Shandalar PC game, its an open world RPG using magic as the primary mechanic. Over 850 unique enemies, over 120 custom dungeons with over 200 bosses, plus over 300 special items to affect how you start a duel and allow interesting new strategies!
I wrote a guide for it, which includes install instructions. If you like magic, you should check it out! Forge has literally every black border card ever made and a good chunk of non-legal cards too, and is totally free and very, very fun. Its maintained and updated by a hard working team of volunteers who have been keeping it updated with every new set for over a decade, even as that's gotten harder with the crazy pace of modern releases.
There's an old-frame only adventure mode I did a lot of work on as well as other modes like the original adventure mode that isn't commander-based and quest mode which drops the RPG element for more of a Balatro-style interface. There's also peer to peer multiplayer.
Hey, just wanted to say, I love your writing!
Aww, thanks so much! I really appreciate that! I've been meaning to publish more stuff, I've just kind of been distracted by other things for a while.
Tezzeret and Bolas to me have the same dynamic as that one "you should be addicted to shutting up / you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" ask
They're made for each other, truly. Unrivaled daddy issues vs. The ultimate god complex.
Tiny Sheoldred for your dash!
playing a magic the gathering draft with you and im seated to your right and I pass you my pack and as you look through the cards to make your pick you realize that I have scribbled on the basic land: "do you like me" with a yes and no box for each player in the draft

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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Kellan and Amalia are traveling together again for the first time in a while. For their first night together in Thunder Junction, their usual feeding routine is altered slightly when Amalia asks to bite Kellan near his neck instead of on his arm.
Saheeli: Are you sure you want to learn how to drive?
Huatli: I've ridden a giant dinosaur, how hard can a "car" be?
*Later*
Huatli: T-there's something wrong. I think the car is dead!
Saheeli:
Saheeli: Huatli, you need to start the car before driving...
“Why petals, Nike?”
The elf merely smiled at the goblin behind her, before flinging another handful of flowers into the stands below. “Because, Sly…” her smug look turned sheepish. “Because when I first became a sponsor, I tried doing the same with gems.”
Sly glanced down from the precipitous sponsor box to the crowded stands below. “Oh. So, it…”
—
“Yeah, get em, Khorvath- Ow! What the?”
“No, Sylvia’s totally the- Oof! Hey! Look out below!”
The section of the stands directly beneath the sponsors’ box cleared out in a hurry, as glittering gemstones cascaded down from above. Though several fans eyed the rocks with wide, greedy eyes, they quickly sank back into their seats once they impacted hard against the bleachers, denting the metal.
—
“It went poorly,” Nike admitted with a frown.
“Yeah, that’d do it. So…does that mean you’re gonna compete, now?”
Nike tilted her head in puzzlement. “Why would me throwing flowers instead of stones, imply I’m going to compete? Shouldn’t it be…the opposite, given the softer material?”
Sly shrugged. “Oh. My bad. I just thought you were trying to emulate Nimbus’s whole deal.”
“Who?”
“Him!” Sly pointed to an aven flying above the arena while leaving a trail of roses in his wake. The flowers floated down to the fans, who went wild for the display. “So, you’re saying you’re not gonna team up with him?”
“No.” A pause. “Well…”
“Ah-hah-hah!” Nimbus dove down to hover at eye level with the box. He met Nike’s gaze and asked, “Did I hear correctly, that you wanted to partner with me?”
“…If you’d have me,” Nike muttered. “I don’t fly, after all.”
“Ah, we can work past that! But our love of flowers - that’s just the kind of thing to make a team last!”
“You really think so?”
“I know so!”
Sly snickered as he walked away from the eagerly conversing pair. “All right, we get it: you like flowers. Get a room, you two!”
[I love Battlebond’s 2HG cards! As I’ve said before, we need a return to Kylem, stat!]

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msh is execrable slop but at least its not tmt, which i fuckng Hope was the absolute nadir of magic. its hard to imagine another brand partner that would make it that point blank embarassing to be a fan of the game but idk i guess next year theyre going to announce three sets of Unmiverses Beyond: Rolie Polie Olie to prove me wrong
Her legal name is Massacre Girl!
I'll bet it is. 🏳️‍⚧️
The guilds produced magitech estrogen.