imposter syndrome is so funny like fuuuuck i hope nobody finds out im tricking people into thinking im competent by knowing things and doing them
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@vickiehooper
imposter syndrome is so funny like fuuuuck i hope nobody finds out im tricking people into thinking im competent by knowing things and doing them

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when you go to a doctors office their favorite thing to do is tell you "okay check out at the front desk" when you're done. and the front desk tells you ummm you can just go! and you're like don't I have a copay? and they're like we don't know, we have to ask your insurance company first. and you're like well my insurance card says the copay is $30, can I just pay it right now while I'm standing in front of you? there's a card reader right there on the desk. and they're like nooo we have to send a representative on horseback during the next waning moon to meet with their claims adjusting associate director of benefits management and client services in the secret glade to negotiate. and you're like oh okay and go home. and you get twelve emails asking you to take a survey about your experience
AND THEN in eight months you start getting phone calls from unknown numbers and when you finally check your voicemail they're like Your Balance Is Past Due We're Going To Kill You (even though by this point you have forgotten that you ever went to the doctor). and so you go to your MyChart account and log in with your username and password and you have to reset your password for security reasons. and you get two emails that say Your Password Has Been Reset. Was This You? and you have to go find your phone and enter your two factor authentication code and then you have to select which location you visited and then you have to click through all the Reminder: Complete Your Health History Profile where they ask if you've had any new surgeries even though you definitely told the nurse about this at your visit and then you have to find the Pay Bills tab and your balance is $179.23 and you're like why is it so expensive I thought the copay was $30? and you download a PDF of the charges and find out that they charged a late fee of $15 a month even though that doesn't add up to $179.23 and you don't even remember being told you had any balance at any point and you could call a representative and ask about it but that would probably take at least half an hour and there's no way it would actually get rid of the charges. so you go pay it anyway and you have to go find a paper check to look up your bank account routing number because they'll charge you an extra 3% if you pay with a credit card and there's a fee of $2.75 for convenience also. and then you get three emails that say We've Received Your Payment! Thank You For Your Payment!
When someone gives the advice of βdonβt be afraid to disappoint your parentsβ they donβt just mean taking music theory in college or starting a YouTube channel.
It also means wearing things they might not approve of. Using accommodations that they might not think you need. Not falling for their guilt trips. Eating when youβre hungry, not when it suits them and their idea of your weight or health. Making your own friends instead of seeking the stamp of approval from them.
Of course, some parents are stricter than others, and some use abuse to keep you from expressing yourself. But do what you can, even if it seems small.
Otherwise, when your parents are no longer in the picture, youβll try to find it somewhere else to get validation. A strict boss, an abusive partner, a selfish friend.
Going against your parentβs wishes is developmentally healthy. Not doing so stunts your independence and self-regulation. You shouldnβt be living to constantly please others, even the people who love you.
OP theaverycottage on TikTok β‘
My hidden room as a child

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Gentrification creates a stifling homogeneity in urban areas that makes it less suited for the everyday lives of the lower class and more suited towards the leisure and tourism of those with expendable income.
An old, decrepit laundromat gets replaced by an upscale bakery? And people are mad? Itβs not that the poor hate organic vegan cupcakes, itβs that most of us donβt have a way to do laundry in our own home.
Run-down corner stores replaced by hand-made designer clothing boutiques? We donβt hate your eco-fabric shawl, but I canβt eat that for dinner after work like I could have a can of beans I grabbed from that corner store when I donβt have time to take the bus to the real grocery store after work.
What gentrification brings in and of itself is not typically bad, itβs that gentrification brings institutions of leisure and pleasure and makes it so that the poor have to go farther out of their way for basic necessities. It turns low-income living spaces into local tourist attractions. It can even create food deserts by putting restaurants, grocery stores, etc. in that the majority of the lower class cannot afford.
Imagine if someone totally renovated your house and turned it into a mini theme park - they took away your sleeping space, where you prepare food, where you clean yourself and get ready for your day, and replaced it with things that will please people who are visiting, who have their own homes they can go back to, who are here not for their entire life but just as a distraction from their otherwise mundane existence. Itβs not that you hate theme parks, itβs not like youβve never been to a theme park and vow to never visit one again. Itβs just that you need to live! To survive! And the leisure of those who have more than you should not invalidate your existence.
I am glad this has made the rounds. Some people feel a dense misunderstanding or misinterpretation concerning gentrification, and I think it helps to hear a description/explanation of what gentrification is from those who are both affected by it and educated by the culture from which it hails. I and many others enjoy some of the delights of gentrification while simultaneously having their livelihoods threatened by it.Β
I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 oβclock. tattoo of a cobraβ¦ sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things donβt exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive
Where that New England Gothic post
my personal favorite

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I just want to love and be loved. why is lunch twelve dollars now
I think I can confidently speak for all of us when I say we were all expecting a cat.
"Rationalism" is up there with "Objectivism" in terms of "definitionally funny things to call your own belief system".
"Yeah man I've been doing some thinking and philosophy and I've come up with a framework called Being Right"
Check out my new philosophy called Correctism. It includes all of the correct and true ideas and rejects the wrong ones.

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on finding love everywhere you look <3
doing things at the right age is literally a made up concept. you can start/pursue anything at any age. btw.
remember remember
one of my dad's best students (and now a good family friend) was a retired lady in her 70s who wanted to get a fine arts degree because she thought it'd be fun. i knew somebody in her 60s who decided to do medieval studies for the same reason