Okay, a dramatic beginning but let me explain. So for some background, I’m a high schooler and I have some amazing friends, but I never thought I would be interested in dating any of them or anyone in general. (I’m aroace, at least that I know of.)

But recently (like last month) my friend and I had a sleepover. She asked me, “hey do you like (let’s just call her Amy)?” And I was shocked. The question was entirely out of the blue. I had never thought of her that way before, and I didn’t want to at the time, so I said no. The rest of the sleepover went on as normal but a couple weeks or so later she told me she knew a secret she wasent allowed to tell me, that involved me. She doesn’t think things though and this friend also is really bad at keeping secrets. And I was like “so don’t tell me.”

I knew the secret by the end of the day. And it was that Amy had a crush on me. But that she dosent anymore. Which has now messed me up so much. Because now the idea is in my head. I’m littered by thoughts us and while I would never thought us that was before, now that I have, I’m almost certain I have a crush on her. She’s into girls, which is good for me. But if she’s not interested in me anymore I totally fumbled! We talk all the time and it hurts to see her with other people (I’m a jealous person, but I never get mad at others for that) and I can’t help but wish I was with her too!

doesn’t help I’m so socially awkward I don’t know how to act around her anymore and she’s my best friend! Even thinking back on it I remember all the flirty things she would do with me and I want to die not realizing how I felt! I fumbled so hard!

I’m stuck now, everytime I’m with her I just want to…I don’t know cry? Laugh? Hug her? Is that weird??? I’ve never had a crush on anyone before and I have to know if she even feels the same becasue she’s convinced I would never like anyone becasue I’m aroace! Even the thought gives me a headache!

I’m just so lost and I want to tell someone but I can’t tell my freinds because their all horrible on keeping secerets and will out me so fast! Plus what if she’s moved on? She does that pretty easy, she told me she gets tired of people after she’s dated them for a while. Red flag but she’s trying to figure things out. From what I know she’s dating anyone who asks, unless it’s a man. Even so I feel weird thinking about it! I just had to get this off my chest so who better to tell than the internet where none of them will find it. (None of them know I have a tumblr account.) I just don’t know what to do now.

Okay so thank you to everyone that voted! I was stuck and I felt like I just couldn’t write anything until the votes came in on which character I should write about first! I wanted to write a long series about a side character in Naruto because I feel like they are underrated. I’m so happy Gaara was chooesn cause he’s my favorite! But I didn’t wanna have just bias plus I was actually torn on who to write.

I will be going by the name jellyfish while I’m here! I have my favorite oc her name is Honey. So that if I have a story with that name, that is the reason. Okay perhaps that’s a horrible way to start this. But I don’t quite care. Anyway! I’m new to tumblr but I love writing and want to start somewhere! Even if it’s bad or cringey it’s how I want to put myself out there! Now for the good stuff. As of now, my top fandoms are Naurto, Windbreaker, Gachiakuta, Ghost Stories, and Fruits Basket! (I totally missed some.)