Discoholic 🪩
trying on a metaphor
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#extradirty
Claire Keane
@theartofmadeline
Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
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Jules of Nature
Love Begins
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izzy's playlists!
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@vfclayr
*Iruka comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Kakashi’s bedroom.*
Kakashi: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?
Iruka: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a husband
Iruka: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*
Kakashi: ...
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Iruka: Naruto, remember when you said you weren’t going to meddle with my relationship with Kakashi?
Naruto: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.
Kakashi: Oh man, you have any shaving cream?
Iruka: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.
Kakashi: Wait... you eat shaving cream?
Iruka: No. Why would I eat it if I don't like the taste.
Iruka: Kakashi? What are you doing here?
Kakashi, wearing a hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and holding a gatorade: My best.
Iruka: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.
Sasuke: Oh. You and Kakashi are going out?
Iruka: Wh...
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Kakashi: So, what's for dinner?
Iruka, staring at the food he burnt: Regret.
Iruka: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup?
Kakashi: The afterlife, I guess.
Iruka: You and I both know it doesn’t have a bone.
Kakashi: Then why is it called a boner?
Naruto : Kakashi Sensei, why are you on Iruka Sensei's balcony?
Kakashi : I'm depressed.
Kakashi : Also I was stabbed, can you just get Iruka, please?
Naruto, holding out a cookie for Iruka: Look! This one's a heart, that’s how I feel about you!
Iruka: Awwwww
Naruto, holding out another cookie for Kakashi : This one's like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you!
Kakashi, throwing his hands in the air: What does that mean?!
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Iruka: Say no to drugs, kids!
Anko: Naw. Say yes to drugs.
Iruka: Anko!
Kakashi: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.
Iruka and Anko:
Kakashi : Just wanted to give my two cents.
Rookie Jounin: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Umino does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?
Kakashi: If Iruka Sensei was to jump off a cliff, he would’ve done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Iruka Sensei jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Rookie: You jump off a cliff!
Kakashi : Gladly. Provided Iruka did first.
Kakashi : "Would you stab your significant other in the leg for 10 million ryo?" What kind of question is that?
Iruka : Exactly! You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big ass house.
Kakashi: And if you can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
Iruka : Good thinking.
Iruka: I intend to stay pissed at Kakashi forever.
Iruka: Even if I seem helpful.
Kakashi : *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*
Iruka : Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?
Kakashi : I—
Kakashi : I don’t know the correct answer to that question.
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Kakashi : Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Iruka : If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am on a school night to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.
Kakashi: So that idea is off of the list.
Kakashi: Just wondering, did you get any sleep?
Iruka: Did I get any... leap?
Kakashi: What...?
