V. E. WARD

Hope you’re all doing well! Swipe left for the full poem and an internal monologue for one of the tougher days. Anyone else feel this way right now? I barely recognize myself honestly and where do the days even go?!? Let me know how you’re doing and thanks for reading 🙃 #poetry #nonessentialworkers #writersofig #quarantineroutine #sendinglove #veward https://www.instagram.com/p/B_WYrMNlioV/?igshid=1dolb21i1bbcf

It was written in the stars. . . . . . #writerspocket #writersofig #spilledink #poems #poetcommunity #poetsdaily #poetsociety #shortpoems #spilledpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/B7e9TEcF25r/?igshid=19ogwt6kg1h8c

When you’ve literally had the best day of your life. Exhausted. Happy. Full. (Of love, and hopes, and dreams of many days like this) ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #vintagemood #writersofig #veward #microblogger #inlove #polaroid #instaxmini #happy #spilledthoughts #microblog #poetsofig #writingcommunity https://www.instagram.com/p/B7d4uKMl8BB/?igshid=1n79xkg50xmh7

Stop waiting for the perfect time and wear your spinner dress. Don’t let the dress hang so long you forget it is there. Wear it more than once. Wear it every damn day. ⠀⠀ Being happy does NOT have to be a special occasion. ⠀⠀ I have to remind myself that there isn’t a limit to how many happy days I have. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I’ve decided that if I have too many happy moments I bring the more difficult times on myself. Then I end up not fully enjoying the moments I could be truly happy. I put off wearing the dress that makes me happy for fear that means the happy dress wearing days will be nothing but a memory. But is it better to have never made the memory? Of course not. ⠀⠀ This fear is both rational and irrational. There will be good days and bad days, and if you want to boil it down to a science, there is a number of days in your life that will be happy. They are numbered and that fear is rational. What is irrational is thinking that by not living your happy days you can save them for later. Inaction is a choice, and usually not a very good one. So I will choose to wear the spinner dress today. ⠀⠀ What is your special thing you’re always saving for later?? ⠀⠀ #poetryofinstagram #poetsofig #spilledthoughts #writersofig #spilledink #poetsandwriters #mentalhealth #carpediem #veward https://www.instagram.com/p/B7c6Ny1F21h/?igshid=k1za3obnqx7z

I looked up at these trees in total wonder. Magical. The gift of life as art. For over 50 miles I watched these beautiful icicles glinting in the sun. The natural phenomenon that sun-catchers and twinkle lights are based on. For the first time in many years I was filled with a real Christmas spirit. 
Then someone nearly hit my car as they sped down the highway. I honked in warning. They purposefully sped up and slowed down in front of me, trying to cause an accident. They followed me on the hard shoulder and stared into my car, eyes like daggers, screaming. This went on for nearly 10 minutes until I finally was able to take an exit. I was struck by how much it hurt to look at the beautiful sight when I felt so scared and upset. 
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The holidays are officially over. For so many people it is a tough time of year- the holidays. An expectation of what it should be drags us all down. The stress of spending more time, money and energy than we have to give taints what joy there could be. We miss our loved ones we’ve lost and we are too busy to actually be present with the loved ones we have. 
You cannot escape the world telling you “BE JOLLY!” Simply telling someone to be jolly has never worked. To someone lonely, whether truly alone or surrounded by people who do not have the energy to truly know them, the forcible festivities stand as a stark contrast to their inner world. 
Even though it is a universal truth that people experience the dirge of what once was or what never was during the holidays, it still feels like a lonely existence. An outsider looking in.
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There isn’t a moral wrap up to this story. The holidays will still be hard. You’ll still have times when you are pulled from your happiness by the reality that others are not happy. Because so many of us are struggling. So we try. We may feel alone, but we are not alone. And sometimes, we stand in awe of the world and the beauty it brings. And when all else fails have yourself a merry solidays after the holidays. #spilledink #writersofig #spilledthoughts #mentalhealth #veward #microblogger 


A haiku. A love story. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

The path before me on these cobblestone streets seems to rise to meet my feet. I choose to change, because change is growth. As I walk alone I now know myself as more friend than foe.