꒰ა ༒︎ ໒꒱

i am an eclectic witch with christian roots, although i have let go of the faith and now leans into agnostic paganism. i've been practising for more or less five years, but i've only decided to call myself a witch only a year ago, when my partner encouraged me to stay true to myself and follow what i feel most connected to.

as someone in the scientific field (psychology), i also identify as a sass (skeptic, agnostic/atheist, science-seeking) witch. most times, i don't believe due to reasoning; other times, i choose to believe despite reasoning; sometimes, i believe because reasoning is insufficient. i think that basically explains how i gather beliefs.

tags

#dump.txt (random stuff) #diary.txt (general logs) #shadows.txt (diary and dreams) #grimoire.txt (spells and such) #cartomancy.txt (tarot readings) #questionnaire.txt (asks)

initially, i was going to make a summary post of what i have written on my personal grimoire. but i realized that i must attempt to include as much as i could. this isn't even the full list, i may add more or create a .pdf guide when i decide to get my mind on it. or, you could add this to your own grimoire/studies!

i recently made a lesson about "daily things we use but not understand," where i covered the origins of our calendar system (e.g., why "september" means "seventh" but it's the ninth month) and weekly system.

my spiritual life was kind of all-over the place (i consider myself an agnostic). when i left christianity (the religion i lived and was raised in), i was left with a deep need to connect with a deity – someone i could resonate with, someone that i felt close to, and someone that always felt like they were with me all this time. it's not a secret that meeting my current romantic partner changed the trajectory of my life, it was at that moment i felt like, "so there was a being out there that wants me to stay alive!" but who?

i discovered hellenic paganism when i felt like it was time to practice deity work in my craft. as usual, i started with the olympians to see which god resonated with me. of course, everyone is free to choose which god to worship regardless of the purpose, but i felt like i wanted to discover which one would make me go, "it's you!"

futhermore, i specifically chose to explore hellenic gods because i recognized that i've always followed greek philosophies, mainly platonism, (some) stoicism, and aristotelian virtue ethics – these were topics that shaped me as a teen to who i am now. naturally, i was more drawn to their myths than the other myths (i have also explored shinto and hindu myths).

carl jung, the person who got me into studies of archetypes, esotericism (and to be frank, witchcraft), inspired me to pursue psychology. a lot of his concepts were inspired or even borrowed from platonic ideas. one of this was the concept of eros, the principle of relationality & connection. it's a very abstract thing to describe in a sentence, but you'll understand what it is based on a few keywords: relationality, connection, emotion, wholeness, desire, longing, force, exuberance, pleasure, suffering, vulnerability.

although this was initially explored by freud in his "pleasure principle," the eros (life) drive and thanatos (death) drive, i explored the origin of the word.

the greek ἔρως éros literally means 'desire.' later myths represent eros as the son of aphrodite, the cute cupid that we know now who makes people fall in love with a bow and arrow. however, i most resonate with the primordial eros (sometimes called phanes) – he who was born before the titans and the olympian gods alongside chaos, gaia, and tartarus. he appeared in hesiod's theogony in which was written:

... and eros (love) [procreation], fairest among the deathless gods, who unnerves the limbs and overcomes the mind and wise counsels of all gods and all men within them. hesiod, theogony 116 ff (trans. evelyn-white) (greek epic c8th or c7th b.c.)

in the orphic theogony, eros is the reason why everything exists:

... that of the Immortals did not exist until eros had brought together all the ingredients of the world, and from their marriage [with khaos] ouranos (heaven), okeanos (the world-stream), gaia (earth) and the imperishable race of blessed gods (theoi) sprang into being. thus our origin is very much older than that of the dwellers in olympos. we are the offspring of eros... aristophanes, birds 685 ff (trans. o'neill) (greek comedy c5th to 4th b.c.) :

without eros, nothing joins, nothing connects, nothing reproduces (to create life), and nothing desires to. this profound realization gave me that "it's you!" moment that i mentioned earlier. in my life, i have always loved loving, have always loved desiring, have always loved the pain of desiring – in short, i have always loved and loved honoring eros :) this is how i realized that i was his devotee!

tl;dr if you made a venn diagram of all my interests, perspectives, beliefs, values, experiences, there would be eros in the intersection.

garlic fermented in honey is something my paternal grandma taught me when she visited from the province. she brings a smaller jar with her for travels and eats a clove of garlic daily for better immune system and health overall. i never witnessed her getting sick.

an alternative to this is pickled garlic (use white vinegar instead of honey) – this is something i casually snack on. after a month or two, the garlic will lose its intensity and even form a slightly sweet flavor. i practice kharis by adding new garlic cloves whenever i take them out.