DAY DREAMER...

vegan matcha and vanilla pancakes with sweet potato swirled coconut yogurt, dark chocolate, peanut butter, granola

dear body,

i feel like i fight with you a lot. i overstress you. you balloon up. i feed you too much dairy. you tighten up the calf muscles. i take three hour naps after my shorter shifts. you don’t wake me up at 6am like i want you to. i don’t always wash up right after a run. you break out in tiny pimples all over my face.  i scream at you internally whenever you release the monthly surge of hormones. you kick back at me with awful cramps, mood swings, appetite spikes, & bloat. 

but i have come to see that i mistreat you sometimes. i give you too much caffeine. sometimes i’m too lazy to wash my makeup off. i don’t exfoliate you as much as i should. i pick at scabs when i should let them heal. and most of all: i tell you you’re wrong. that you look too this or you don’t have enough of that. that you’re functioning poorly. that you aren’t doing your job. but perhaps the reality of it all is that i am not doing my job. 

but days like today, we work together and run. we run in the summer heat. i keep the skin healthy by applying lots of sunblock. you keep me cool by sweating like a maniac. i hydrate– you do millions of cellular energy conversions and muscle fiber contractions. and my mind? my mind says to you “hurt is inevitable. suffering is optional.” 

together, we can do what i once thought was impossible. 

and so i’m sorry, my dear body, for how i may mistreat you. but most of all thank you for persevering nonetheless.