POT 1st Date Conversation
I am typically very nervous and anxious before a POT date. In order for me to feel more comfortable, I came up with a script so I have talking point to avoid awkward silences.
Before a date I typically heavily research their job and look up a few current events articles that pertain to their career. This is to get an idea of not only how much they make but their job responsibilities so we can have an interactive conversation when we speak about his job.
Then I ask if he has been to the restaurant before
If yes, does he come here often? What does he recommend?
If no, I heard great things about the restaurant. Apparently, the (name of dish) is to die for!
Talk about the ambiance, vibe, and decor of the restaurant
Then I have 3 Phases of questions prepared
So you are a (his job title) that is so interesting I’d love to hear more about it.
How do you like your job?
Where did you go to school?
What made you choose this career?
Use words like interesting, fascinating, paramount, etc. when responding. This basically inflates his ego while showing him you’re interested in what he has to say.
Phase 2: Get To Know You Questions
What do you do outside of work?
Do you prefer watching tv shows or movies?
What shows/movies do you watch?
What are some your favorite books?
What is your favorite type of food? Favorite restaurant?
What’s your favorite sport/teams?
What type of music do you listen to?
Have you been to any fun concerts recently?
Always prepare your responses for these questions and have follow up question as well. The follow up questions and your responses help make the conversation flows and makes it seem natural. If you don’t have any hobbies make up some! Make sure it’s not a common one and RESEARCH that hobby (makes the lie seem more believable).
Phase 3: Silly/Random Questions
This keeps the date lighthearted and fun
Are you a morning bird or night owl?
What do you prefer coffee or tea?
Do you consider yourself a pessimist, realist, or idealist?
What are yours biggest pet peeves?
If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
These phases typically take up the whole dinner date. Try not to sound rehearsed or robotic to make the conversation seem more natural.
Nonverbal communication is also extremely important! Almost as important as verbal. This shows you are interested and having a good time.
Face your feet and body towards him
Flutter and bat your eyes
Smize (smile with your eyes)
After the 3 phases I say something along the lines of “I’m very curious why are you on the site?”. This transitions the conversation towards the arrangement and allowance discussion. Then ask what he’s looking for in an arrangement and allowance expectations. I try to never say a number first (that’s the first rule of negotiation). Have him throw out a number then you counter.
Since having this script and rehearsing the conversation, I’ve had more successful 1st POT dates. I highly recommend scripts to every SB.
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