#1 reply guy

guy got squished at work today

do you work in a factory? what happened???

Showing this post to Jerry Seinfeld and he jumps off the Brooklyn bridge

these are my 16 kids, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, rook, knight, bishop, queen, king, bishop, knight, and rook

ugh. just found out my neighbor named all her 16 kids after mine. ok now everyone line up

hey guys. want to apologize for the above post. i was a different person when i made this post, i've gone through change, i've grown, and i've aged. so please don't give me or my son hate saying he's a "fire hazard" when he literally has to be plugged in to be alive. thanks

it hasn't even been one full day

girls this time of year are so pretty. when all their leaves fall out and you can step on em and they're crunchy thats the good shit

sorry i mean girls

i mean girls

(placing my newborn baby on the baby changing station in a gas station bathroom) he's not changing at all what the hell

the baby was in fact changed. every part was replaced with an identical part in the blink of an eye

Hey does anyone want this old ass onion i got in my fridge

Okay

Took off my shirt and my shoes when i got home and now i don't have any cell reception??

Beautiful!

I think we should change the standard “asl?” To “ahc?” Which is age, human or collective mind

Tried to mix “mood” “worm” and “me” and i got “weed”

I want a toilet that has a hot tub jet in it so its constantly bubbling like a witch’s cauldron

What about the reverse: A hot tub with a toilet in it

Babe? Why wont you have sex with me? Is it because i said “go go gadget huge penis” and dropped my pants? Babe?

That was definitely exactly why

What power would kirby get if he succd you

Depression