Just a simple FFXIV player, elezen and lore fan
My "ASK" is open, so feel free to ask if you have any questions about my lovely Ciel or her adventures.
Hello everyone!
This blog is dedicated to my OC Ciel Ashborn and her little adventures.
It's a “What if?” story. What if we had thrown one additional character into the events before the HW storyline and looked at the lives of the Thordan Knights through her eyes?
Initially my attempt to tell their story, assembled from details and bits of information (some of it's outright made up because we've been told next to nothing), has evolved into something more. Into outright obsession xD
This is my main and only blog on tumblr. So all the activity is here only. Here's a link to the first part of the story I'm writing about her. I hope you will enjoy it!
Here is the link to ao3:
https://archiveofourown.org/series/4490947
Feel free to ask questions if you have any!
I think it won't be a spoiler if I point out that the main pairs that have taken up residence in my head and actively using that small space, are:
-Ciel Ashborn/Grinnaux de Dzemael (because when you piss a man off by the mere fact of your existence, it's a sign, so take it).
-Charibert de Leusignac/Zephirin de Valhourdin (there's blatant chemistry and who am I to argue with that?)
P.S. English is not my first language, so please forgive me for any errors and mistakes.
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tagged by @hijacked-heaven thank you! 😊 Sorry for the late reply!
1 - Origins of your blog name:
The blog's name is quite straightforward. For many years, it was my gaming nickname. From 2014 until autumn 2024. Originally, it was the name of a hero from yet another fantasy book I was "devouring" at a rate of several per week. His name was Veliar, a talented dark mage who had the misfortune of falling in love with a light witch, who was soon killed for their relationship. The guy ended up laying waste to several kingdoms and went to the world of the dead to search for his beloved. Sweet, fairy-tale-like; I really loved it back then.
At that time, my husband and I were playing ArcheAge, which had just launched in our country. I was playing a rather rare class for our server, the Executioner (I was the only Executioner in a huge clan), but I genuinely enjoyed it. Would you have liked a fast-running Dark Knight with leaps to the target and the ability to pull out a bow when needed and shoot a fleeing enemy in the back? I loved it very much.
2. My “I’ll always order this” food:
No matter where I go, if I spot Crispy Eggplant Salad on the menu, that's my pick. I love comparing how different chefs interpret this dish.
3. Overused emoji: xD
4. Comfort movie, book and show:
Movie - You've Got Mail
Book - Pride and Prejudice
Show - any travel show
5. Song on repeat:
AAC Heavyweight M3: Absolute Tyranny
So you know - It took 27 runs to M11 to get my own music scroll. The 3 of us went there and when I rolled 94 I was so happy…. only to hear the very next moment “Huh, 95!” from my husband.
6. Current hyper fixation:
I think the song on “repeat” gave it away. That horned bastard has taken up residence in my brain and is now actively kicking my Ciel and Grinnaux fix.
And my gaming husband is no better: "Let's write a story about our elezen boys and The Tyrant." And I was like... "Alright! I've never written m/m/m before! This should be fun!" I thought... And that was it. For the past two weeks, we've kept our eyes to the fight and are ready to kiss the ring. Ahem…
7. Oddly specific thing that brings me joy: Watching the storm.
8. What smell makes me happy: The ozone-charged air after a storm. And my husband's cologne: a blend of orange blossom, bright bergamot, warm cedar, patchouli, and just a whisper of cinnamon
9. Something I loved as a kid and secretly still do:
Spinning new tales for beloved characters. I used to “craft” gentle adventures for them, but time has twisted my pen. Now, no matter my intent, a certain darkness insists on creeping in. Is it the curse of growing up? T_T
10. Phone wallpaper right now?
My own screenshot T_T
11. Early bird or night owl: Unfortunately, I am a self-made owl. My sleep schedule is a casualty of my creative bursts.
Tagging @serifyism @cimarraskylark @vieilelf and and @drowxiv if you're interested and don't mind playing along! No pressure! And anyone else who sees this and wants to do it!
Ill just let this boys stay here.
Thet have nothing to do with Ciel and her adventures. But I`ll need this screenshot for my next post.
If you're curious:
The white-haired mage is Ivo, my friend's character @yalisya 🥰
The black-haired warrior is René, my boooooy!!!! (★ω★)/
Handsome devils, the both of them....
That poor cat is doomed, but alas, if Ciel has decided to smother someone in hugs and kisses, there's no saving them now.
My old cat used to do the same. God, how I miss that dramatic, long-suffering look.
P.S. On December 31, 2025, I gave my mom the second part of my story to read... Yesterday, January 5, 2026, she called me to say that she had finished it, that I'm a menace for leaving it at the most interesting part and asked if there was more.... I'm sitting here, washing down my stress with coffee. I can't write that fast! :_)
Still, my heart is so full of happiness knowing she loved it.
thank you for the tag @hijacked-heaven ❤️ for remembering me!
and I`ll tag @dalmascan-requiem and @cimarraskylark and anyone else who wants to take part in it! No pressure! ❤️
Words written (published or not):
Well then...
Published: The fully completed second part of the story on AO3, with 175K words. And immediately dove into writing the final part.
Unpublished: The third part, currently at 157K words. I was writing it right up until 10:30 PM on 12/31/2025 and had to stop then to go visit family. And of course, the ideas were flowing like a river!
Number of smut scenes (if applicable/relevant):
0, alas, I haven't tried writing them yet... "posing" scenes in gpose is another matter. Also, I'm hesitant to share my works here because I'm not confident in their beauty or appeal.
New things I tried:
In terms of writing, I tried incorporating more drama into my style. To "dig into" themes that might be unpleasant for me but are necessary for the narrative. You'll read the result later. It was an interesting and enlightening experience.
Fic I spent the most time on:
My own third part... Alas, it consumes almost all of my free time. However, I'm not complaining.
Fic I spent the least time on:
The first part, "A fledgling." I really should take the time to rewrite it properly in my native language... but frankly, there just isn't enough time.
Favourite thing I wrote:
The third part of Ciel's adventures. How my girl has grown, how she and the other characters of the story have changed. I love observing character growth and development.
Favourite thing I read:
And reread! As strange as it may sound, my own work. All 2 parts :/
I spend an awful lot of time there. I genuinely like it and want to bring it to a state I'm fully satisfied with!
Writing goals for next year:
In the near future, finish the 3rd part (I still need a quiet week or two to finish it)
And will start a side story with adventures in Shadowbringers+Endwalker and a little bit in Dawntrail. And finally put a proper end to it. After that, maybe write one-shots about separate stories and adventures. And then... later, tackle the story of Сiel's ancestor, Ashborn... because I plan to dive in all the way to the very end of the Allagan era.
So many ideas!! I have to figure out how to handle this and make it out alive.
Final thoughts:
The year was productive and extremely eventful. Full of all sorts of things: pleasant and not so much. But I'm making progress on my path and am extremely proud of it. I wish for all of you to keep developing, to find joy in your creativity! Have FUN! You are all wonderful! Best of luck! ❤️
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Hey everyone. Well, that's it, I'm a year older now. But that's not the point!
Look at this gift from @mopeart !!! Thank you so, so much for the gift once again!!! ❤️
Oh my god, this man.... This man AND the cake?! My mouth is literally watering.
Never thought I'd see Grinnaux in such a vibrant palette, but damn... he looks good enough to eat.
P.S. Alright, enough slacking off. Its time to get back to finishing Part 3!
See you soon!💖
I finally made it to the computer! I hope all is well with you and that you're slowly preparing for the upcoming holidays!
After recently recovering from my first bout of tonsillitis this season, I've risen from the ashes and am gradually finishing part 3 of Ciel's adventures. The main part is done. All that's left is to tie up all the loose ends in the final conversations. I'm working on it!
For now, I just wanted to share a wonderful art of Ciel from part 3, a gift from my husband for our wedding anniversary. Even though I'm used to seeing Ciel in the FFXIV style, the artist's style and technique are simply wonderful! Very fresh and unusual!
Anyway, I'm pleased, happy and now I'm looking forward to the end of December when I'll be gifted art of Grinnaux for my birthday!^_^ Wait for it, comrades! Soon I'll delight you with another wonderful piece of art!
Hey everyone! I just have to share this! My amazing friend @mopeart has blessed me with another stunning artwork of Ciel and her Little Fury!
She perfectly captured the very image I had envisioned for Ciel when she first arrived in Ishgard: a fledgling who had just left the safety of the nest, suddenly confronted with a real world that was as icy and unforgiving as it was hostile to someone as different as her. Her innate curiosity, trusting nature and gentle heart were of no avail to her there.
Now I'm going back to admiring this beautiful art and working on the third part of my story. Things are heating up with the civil unrest in Ishgard and the Vault is on the horizon!
Take care, everyone and have a wonderful day!
THANK YOU ONE MORE TIME @mopeart !
A little vignette of what happened between the chapters of the 2nd part. I'm working on third and I desperately need something warm and you know ... good. Maybe some fluff...
Third part is tough one, but it's moving forward.
The evening was hushed, wrapped in the soft crackle of firewood from the hearth. Curled against Grinnaux’s side, Ciel was half-reading a dense treatise on aetherial imbalance, half-drifting to the sound of his steady breathing. A contented smile touched her lips as he nuzzled lazily into her hair. She was determined to finish the chapter on elemental realignment and finally turn in, when she felt the warm press of his lips against the very tip of her ear.
She cleared her throat softly and stubbornly refocused on the page, ignoring the clearly very much awake man beside her.
“What is it?” she asked, tone light and slightly pointed.
“I’ve grown hungry,” he rasped, and the low gravel of his voice ran like a spark straight down her nerves.
“And what does that have to do with my ear?” she asked, striving to keep her composure as his hand slid under her shirt. The slow drag of his short nails along her side made it terribly hard to focus.
“You have no idea how tempting it looks.”
When his work-roughened fingers cupped her chin, tilting her face firmly toward him, Ciel knew with a sinking (or soaring) certainty that she wouldn’t be finishing that chapter.
“I only have a little bit left…” she attempted anyway.
In answer, his teeth closed gently around the edge of her ear, not enough to hurt, just enough to make her jolt a bit. Not from fear, but from the sudden warmth, familiar and thrilling. She had grown accustomed to these waves of tender aggression that came over him sometimes. This raw, almost beastly urge to nibble her skin, always soothed afterward by an apologetic kiss right where his teeth had been. Maybe it was a warrior trait; she didn’t know, and truth be told, she didn’t care. Lately, though, the desire to bite him back had been visiting her more and more often. And why not?
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Chapters: 46/46!!
And so, the translation of "Awakening from a long dream" is complete! If you wish, you can now read the entire story posted on our beloved AO3.
Wow...Words:175,895. Even I didn't expect such a scale from myself, but that's alright, this is only the beginning! Onward to new discoveries, traumas, old friends and new enemies!
I decided to replay the Heavensward expansion since I needed to refresh some story moments. I noticed that after the patch, my girl's cheekbones changed a bit. And here I was, hoping they'd bring back the sharper jawline for male characters T_T
Now I'm just sitting here admiring her. I didn't change anything, but with slightly altered cheekbones, she somehow looks a bit more older.
P.S. Still pondering which hairstyle to choose for Ciel for the end of the third part. Somehow these thoughts always come to me late at night when I have to go somewhere early in the morning. Sigh...
Well, another VPN has fallen victim to restrictions. Rest in peace, my valiant friend, you helped me post a few more chapters.
Dear readers of my story (if you're out there), I regret to inform you that I'm having trouble accessing AO3 once again. And at WHAT chapter!!!!! >.<
Don't lose hope, I'm already working on finding a new alternative. I can practically feel the need to hurry with translations, but I refuse to sacrifice quality.
Ah well, we'll figure it out! Hope to return with Ch 34 "The Feast of Saint Daniffen" on Sunday!
Wishing you luck and take care of yourselves!
Just finished translating chapter with Paulecrain's story. I'd love to hear your thoughts - what do you think?
The Edge of Solitude
Paulecrain fought to keep his emotions in check. They clouded judgment, muddled strategy, and in his mind, if you couldn’t calculate five steps ahead, you were already a dead man walking.
Seventeen Years Ago
He remembered himself at ten, trailing his father into Ishgard. The shape of the man lingered in his memory, but the details of his face? Those he’d either lost or willfully erased.
What he did recall was the gut-chilling terror of realizing he’d been left behind in the marketplace crowd. He’d sprinted through the stalls, begging guards: “Have you seen my father?” No one had. The man had vanished, as if swallowed by the earth, abandoning his son in a city of strangers.
Huddled in an alley, choking back tears, only one thought looped in his skull: “He didn’t even say goodbye. Just tossed me away.” Sometimes, he’d scraped for excuses, maybe his father had no choice. But those lies crumbled faster than he could spin them.
The Brume became his home. He survived among its feral pack of orphans and castoffs, stealing, begging, scrambling for odd jobs that might buy half a meal. Always slight, the Lower City whittled him down to a gaunt, hollow-cheeked thing, a starving wolf-pup watching from the shadows as happy families strolled past. Why them? He'd wonder, numb to the ache in his gut. What makes me worth less?
Then came the day a grizzled Temple Knight caught him filching bread. Paulecrain still remembered dangling by his scruff, kicking uselessly as the old man laughed. He’d braced for a cell, but instead a bit of food. A rusted dagger pressed into his palm. “The strong survive, whelp. Consider this a head start. The rest is up to you.”
After the Temple Knight’s intervention, Paulecrain’s life changed irrevocably.
Trial and error, paid for in his own blood, slowly carved him into a hunter. He started with ovims, those pests swarming Coerthas’ wastes, then moved to wolves and jackals. In time, he learned a knife was reliable, but unforgiving. A single mistake meant death.
So he fashioned a crude spear: his old dagger lashed to a sturdy branch. The weapon felt right in his hands. For the first time in years, a dream flickered to life, someday, I’ll wield a real spear.
He still returned to the city at night, bartering teeth, fangs, and pelts to merchants. After six months of relentless hunting, he scraped together enough gil to buy a simple, serviceable lance. The hunt became more than survival, it was a craft.
By sixteen, he stumbled into a skirmish between Temple Knights and heretics. His interference didn’t go unnoticed. They offered him a chance to compete for a squire’s position. No sane man turns down an opportunity like that, he reasoned, and accepted.
He passed the trials effortlessly, apprenticed to a knight, and kept hunting in his spare hours. Not for coin or crumbs now, but for the thrill of it, and to hone his edge.
As his training neared its end, marked as one of the finest lancers of his cohort, he received an offer to serve House Fortemps.
He accepted, dutifully upholding the noble house’s banner for two years—until they cast him out. The official reason? Assaulting the count’s youngest son. In truth, it was merely a single, well-earned slap, a simple retribution for the boy’s recklessness getting good knights killed. But young lords don’t swallow such insults.
So he found himself in the "Forgotten Knight", drowning his frustrations. Clearly, the gods had a grudge, because who else would be there but a Dzemael whelp, downing ale like water? Later, Paulecrain blamed his foul mood for provoking the verbal spat that escalated into an all-out brawl.
At some point, he and the Dzemael bastard stumbled into the alley behind the tavern. Blood trickled from Paulecrain’s split lip, but he grinned, pressing his knife to the elezen’s throat. The smile died when he heard a hoarse whisper:
"Go on." Lilac eyes, hollow as a corpse’s, stared back. The eyes of a man begging for death. Dzemael leaned into the blade, hissing, "Do it."
"You fucking mad?!" Paulecrain snarled. "Want to die? Jump off a bridge, don’t drag me into it. I’ve no use for a highborn’s corpse on my hands."
"Coward."
"You’re the coward!" he shot back, sheathing the knife to seize Dzemael by the collar. "Dying’s easy. Living, that’s the hard part. But what would a spoiled, rotten rich boy know about that, huh?" He shook him hard.
“You know nothing about me,” Dzemael growled, fury rising.
"I don’t! Then tell me." Paulecrain’s own rage flared, how dare this waste of privilege throw his life away? When he’d fought tooth and nail just to survive, stitching his wounds in the dark, stomach gnawing itself empty. "Impress the man who got kicked out with a black mark, who won’t eat next week. What’s so unbearable? A woman said no? Not enough coin?"
That night, for the first time in years, Paulecrain let his emotions run wild.
Before he knew it, he was sitting on the floor of House Dzemael’s eldest son’s private quarters, sharing a bottle of wine straight from the bottle with the very same bastard who’d begged for death hours earlier. The blonde spoke, really spoke, as if no one had listened in years. And for once, Paulecrain did.
He stayed by that fool’s side afterward, though he couldn’t explain why. He’d agonized over it later: Was it recognition? A kindred, abandoned soul hidden beneath silk and silver? Or just a cold calculation? No answer ever came. So he’d let the current carry him.
Weeks later, Grinnaux offered him a position in House Dzemael. Paulecrain wasn’t stupid, he knew the family’s reputation, knew exactly what kind of work awaited. He accepted anyway.
Then came the first true test of his loyalty.
Delivering a note from Grinnaux’s uncle one day, he froze when the young lord, fresh from the bath, still toweling his hair, casually ordered:
"Read it."
Paulecrain stared at the floor, silent.
"Paule?" Grinnaux frowned. "Something wrong?"
Teeth gritted, burning with shame, he forced out the words: "I can’t."
He braced for the sneer, the mockery he’d endured in another noble house. Instead:
"Oh. Right. I’ll… teach you later."
Shocked, Paulecrain looked up. Grinnaux just smirked, snatched the note, and rolled his eyes after scanning it. The matter was dropped, until the next free evening, when Grinnaux sat him down and actually began teaching him. Letters first. Then history.
Now, years later, Paulecrain knew the truth: his education, his ability to stand as himself, he owed it all to Grinnaux. The battles fought back-to-back (he’d lost count), the wounds bandaged in hushed secrecy (because the uncle rarely called healers for his nephew), the sheer miracle that Grinnaux had survived this long, every moment etched into their twisted, unshakable bond.
He remembered how something inside him went still when he learned Grinnaux had accepted the Heavens’ Ward’s offer.
Soon, his friend would take his vows and leave House Dzemael behind. Paulecrain was happy for him, but acutely aware that he’d be alone in that viper’s nest once more. Alone again.
So when, days later, Grinnaux arranged for him to meet the new commander of the Heavens `Ward, he agreed without hesitation. Before long, he stood among the personal guard of Archbishop Thordan VII, shoulder-to-shoulder with his newly sworn brother. Somewhere deep down, he relished the fact that he could now call Grinnaux that officially.
That same fierce pride surged through him even as he lay bleeding on the frozen ground, watching a frenzied Grinnaux reduce a dragon to gory pulp with his newly blessed axe.
"Worth it," he thought, consciousness slipping. "He'll be fine. Even at this price."
To his surprise, he woke up in the infirmary. Their ward brother, young mage Noudenet, informed him they couldn’t save his eye, but the injury wouldn’t bar him from service. Slumped in an uncomfortable chair beside him, still clad in bloodstained armor, an exhausted Grinnaux snored softly.
Only days later did he learn the full story: Grinnaux had abandoned his mission mid-battle to haul him back to Ishgard, nearly kicked down the infirmary doors, and roared at the healers to save him, at any cost.
Yes, the wound ached sometimes. But he’d never regretted it. For once in his life, he hadn’t been wrong.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Hello everyone!
I wanted to apologize for the slow translation of the chapters from the second part of the story. The process has been taking WAY more time than before (which, unfortunately, I don’t have much of). And in all honesty? I’ve got zero motivation these days.
Not that anyone’s reading it, but still, I’ll try not to drag it out too much. Someday, someone might stumble upon it, and maybe they’ll even like it, just like I enjoyed writing it.
A year per piece. A test of patience I never expected to pass. Yet here I am, smiling at my own words months later. I still love the first part with its charmingly silly narration, but the second one gives me pleasant chills (like, "Wait, did I actually write this?").
