SO PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS ,

IN EMERALDS AND CURLS — I GIVE MYSELF OVER TO YOU.

im thinking paris would be nice but im so overtly tired of that bitch, in my cr it's paris this paris that, my drs are also slobbered with paris, im boooooored.

im literally content with absolutely nothing about choosing drs. if it doesn't resonate trust you won't catch me there again

i find my self downplaying my successes in manifestation. for example; i affirm for a phone, i get a phone from my dad. i affirm for someone to stay in my school instead of moving, they stay. i affirm for rainy weather, it rains. and throughout all, i always find my self saying “was it really me that manifested this?” and its because it seems like everything happened because of another factor. for example, my father buying a new phone. everyone around my friend begging her to stay on this school. and the weather broadcast saying that it’ll rain (before and after i affirm doesn’t matter).

idk if that’s how manifestations work. i wanna know, what should i do to stop downplaying my manifestations.

you're downplaying your manifestations because you're waiting for the 'burning bush' moment. you expect your desire to drop from the sky like some sort of glitch in the matrix. this is not spontaneous doordash. you control the entire hemisphere of your reality— therefore if you say it is there, then by convention, it'll be there in said reality. when you tie manifesting with expectation, the concept of it already being integrated in your reality starts slipping. ask yourself, why can't your desires materialize 'normally'? this is how you perceive this reality anyway, doesn't it make sense for it to manifest in its own context?

i'm asking these questions to you because i think the problem stems from the difference between what we call a manifestation and normal life. there is no difference because the two overlap.

i don't know if i'm making sense, but take your own manifestations as examples. what special scenario would you have expected to unfold for your brain to finally accept that it was all your doing? the funny thing is that you are able to manifest just that.

why draw the line between normalcy and manifesting? manifesting is normal. it's boring and it's blegh and it's the system that runs your reality. it doesn't really matter how things materialize because you should know that either way, it is all your doing (consciously speaking anyway)

you said, "everything seems like it's happening because of xyz factors."

well of course it does. what do you think dominates those factors in the first place? this isn't the same as a stand up comedian doing a quick guest appearance. manifestation is a constant. period.

(shifting with doubt 101)

hi. strap in. we’re going to tame the devil today. 

we've villainized doubt enough. be it on tumblr or in the quiet rot of the subconscious, there's always been this odd ineffability that uncertainty carries around us. our discomfort with any signs of self-flagellation inclines us to binary failure: you either start identifying with the noise, or lie stagnant in your assumption. 

and the paralysis persists because the mechanics of resistance are rarely understood. 

doubt is a seed that finds purchase the moment the mind lacks directive. despite the perceived threats to the sense of self, doubts are just thoughts. inert thoughts akin to the thousands that pass you by everyday. it is human, to doubt. it's what the brain does when it doesn't really understand what the fuck you're up to. it doesn't know any better than to retrace the steps you've walked in hundreds of times, and assume what’s good for you based on experience. doubt is a biological reflex, not the verdict. 

unfortunately, we’ve been incentivized to cheapen it as an “end-all-be-all” to successful shifting. not because it feels harmful— but because of our cultural dependency on reassurance. people are so scared of resistance that the second they are met with it, belief crumbles. 

and we don't make ammends with that by waging war. we do so by humanizing the mechanism.

understanding this is crucial because it helps you relegate the meaning you assign to doubt. actually, everything that opposes your assumption only exists because you give it a salary. because you fund the resistance.

the defence doesn't and shouldn't hold you back from continuing to choose. you’ve already decided how it goes, thus everything else is, by de facto, irrelevant.

(and if the brain is being stubborn, robotic affirmations serves as manual override. it's the neurological equivalent of dragging the brain (by the collar) into new territory. it works.)

additionally, doubts stem from logical premises that you used to, or do, align with. so by convention, living under the assumption that everything works alongside logic (when shifting itself is an insult to traditional logic), makes little sense. why give doubt the authority of figuring out a concept it knows little about? 

ok now. let's consider this scenario:

a doubt pops up. something along the lines of;

“what if i haven't shifted? everything looks the same anyway.”

[1]. before you start clenching your fists, remember that doubts are just thoughts. they have no value in the market unless you decide to cash in. 

[2]. don't engage in mental brawl, instead, let it run its course.

[3]. however if the doubts are overwhelming,  a simple counter-interrogative suffices. ask, “why can't i be in my dr?”

[4]. and because you have already thrown logic out of the window, your brain cannot refute this question. (but don't make this a habit. it tires you.)

[5] then, you can tie it all neatly by remembering your assumption. remember when you unwaverlingly decided you were in your dr? stick to that. you wanted to shift, thus decided you did = meaning your doubts are unnecessary and don't need to be dwelled upon. 

this is not a manual. nor is it in chronological order. these are just tips to help you; doing them all at once when one thought comes in is just unnecessary and going to wear you out. 

shhhhh what do you mean.. you're already the best shifter there is...

on a serious note though, i reckon it's a matter of letting go (to b fair i myself don't exactly know what that means </3). trust your assumption. stop looking for answers; stop seeking for the thing that'll click. just trust your assumption. you say you're a master shifter? then you simply, unequivocally are.

i don't want to say shifting takes time, because it doesn't, lest you decide otheriwse — but i spent so much of it maneuvering my mindset, thinking that if i ignored the 3d this much, it'll happen, if my affirmations were closer to my heart, perhaps and eventually, will the shift trigger. but it all changed (at least for me) when i embraced the now and trusted what i assumed.

my better cr dr! spit image of my cr except with a few (big) changes. it's (was) a combination of everything i've ever loved as a kid, every show, every book, every character. of course, as i grew older it got more realistic— so i guess now that i've shifted there multiple times, it's a little gloomy, especially because the plot hasn't hit yet. but i have to say, i'm still a little shocked at the fact that i co-exist??? with these?? fictional characters..??

apart from that, my waiting room is another one of the few destinations i like huddling in. it's very chill. a cute flat with all my essentials. nothing special honestly :( very minimalist and book-ladden.