hiraeth|dolorus

this is actually one of the most real questions someone can ask, so i’m glad you did.

because “live as if” gets thrown around like it’s obvious when for a lot of people, it’s not.

especially if your whole life has been:

“if i don’t try, i don’t get.”

so let’s clear something up first “living as if” does NOT mean pretending you’re rich while ignoring the fact that you need to eat.

it doesn’t mean being delusional.

it doesn’t mean refusing to act in your current reality.

you still pay your bills.

you still look for a job.

you still take care of yourself.

nothing about that is “failing” at manifestation.

the shift is internal, not performative.

people think “living as if” means

acting rich

spending money you don’t have

forcing confidence

walking around like a character

that’s not it.

that’s roleplay.

“living as if” is much quieter than that.

it’s how do you think when you’re not panicking?

how do you respond when things don’t go your way?

what do you assume is possible for you?

for someone who has always had to struggle,

of course “having” feels unnatural.

because your baseline is

effort = survival

so when people say “just relax into having it,”

your brain goes “relax? are you crazy? things fall apart when i relax.”

so don’t jump straight to “i’m rich, everything is perfect”

that’s too far from what your system is used to.

start here instead

not “i’m rich”

but “things can start working out for me too.”

not “i have unlimited money”

but “i’m not always going to be stuck like this.”

this is still “living as if”

just at a level your mind can actually hold.

and about your routine it doesn’t need to dramatically change.

you don’t wake up and suddenly act like a millionaire.

you wake up and maybe

you stop assuming everything will go wrong.

you stop spiraling at every inconvenience.

you stop telling yourself “nothing works for me.”

for example you’re broke and need a job.

old state:

“this is hopeless. i never get opportunities.”

new state:

“i don’t know how yet, but something will open up.”

then you still apply for jobs.

but you’re not applying from desperation.

you’re applying from expectation.

that’s the difference.

same action.

different identity.

“living as if” isn’t about changing your entire life overnight.

it’s about not constantly reinforcing the version of you who has nothing.

and also this is important you don’t have to feel 100% secure to do this.

you can be scared,uncertain,tired etc.

and still choose to lean slightly differently.

so instead of asking “how do i act like i have it?”

ask “how do i stop thinking like i never will?"

and over time, that’s what actually changes your reality.

not pretending.

but thinking, reacting, and expecting differently long enough that things begin to move.

you don’t need to become a completely different person overnight.

just stop reinforcing the same version of you,

hey i’m really glad you said this out loud.

and i’m not gonna give you some detached “just ignore the 3D” answer because this isn’t just about manifestation anymore.

this is about you feeling disconnected, drained, and stuck somewhere that doesn’t feel like home.

and yeah that matters.

i’m gonna say this gently but clearly

wanting to disappear ≠ wanting a new reality.

one comes from curiosity, expansion, “what else is possible?”

the other comes from pain, exhaustion, “i can’t stay here anymore.”

and right now? yours sounds like pain.

and listen you’re not weak for that. but building your entire hope on “i just need to get out of here” will start to feel like a cage when it doesn’t happen instantly.

because then it turns into

“why am i still here?”

“what am i doing wrong?"

and suddenly the thing that was comforting starts suffocating you.

and about “not letting the 3D affect you”

be so real for a second of course it affects you.

you’re human.

you exist here.

you have memories, feelings, a whole history.

you’re not supposed to be some emotionless manifestation robot 😭

what people mean (and explain terribly) is

don’t let the 3D define who you are.

but that doesn’t mean

“ignore your pain”

or

“pretend everything is fine”

right now it kinda sounds like shifting/manifestation is the only thing keeping you going.

and i get it genuinely.

the idea that there’s more

that you’re not stuck like this forever

that there are versions of you who are happy, loved, living

yeah that’s comforting as hell.

but you also deserve to feel a little okay here too.

not perfect.

not amazing.

just less heavy.

and i’m gonna push back on one thing (with love)

you said you haven’t manifested anything “big” or that matters.

but you’re still here.

you’re still trying.

you’re still reaching out.

a part of you hasn’t given up.

and that matters more than any “big manifestation” right now.

instead of jumping straight to

“new reality, new life, everything different”

try scaling it down.

not because you can’t have big things

but because your brain is already overwhelmed.

shift the goal from

“i need to escape”

to

“i need to feel a little safer in my own head.”

that can look like

— finding one thing in your day that feels okay (not amazing, just okay)

— letting yourself feel bad without turning it into “i need to disappear”

— not forcing yourself to connect with people you don’t relate to

— making small spaces where you feel like you (music, writing, online, anything)

you don’t have to love this reality.

hell, you don’t even have to like it.

but you can’t abandon yourself inside it.

and please read this part slowly if your thoughts are getting to the point where disappearing feels comforting, don’t handle that alone.

talk to someone if you can a friend, anyone you trust, even anonymously online or through support chats.

you don’t have to carry all of that by yourself.

you’re not stuck forever.

your life isn’t already decided.

but right now, the goal isn’t to force a huge shift overnight.

it’s to make being here feel

just a little more bearable

while you figure things out.

you don’t need to disappear to become someone who’s okay.

you can start building that version of you slowly.

right here.

Also your manifestation advice and posts are chef kiss thank you king or queen or monarch 💌

STOPPP 😭 not you clocking my username like that

“lobotomyhusband” is literally a cry for help disguised as branding

but thank you sm 😭🫶 that actually means a lot fr

i’m just out here aggressively reminding people they’re the problem (with love) and somehow it’s resonating

i’m going to answer you honestly, not in the sugarcoated way people usually do.

you’re not “failing” at manifestation.

you’re quitting before anything even has time to solidify.

one hour is not persistence. it’s barely a decision.

you’re treating manifestation like a quick test

“let me try this and see if it works”

and the moment the 3D doesn’t instantly reflect it, you go

“yeah…... this isn’t working”

and drop it.

of course you’re not seeing results.

you’re not holding anything long enough for it to become real to you.

let’s clear something up first

yes, you do see results in the 3D.

that’s literally the point.

but the 3D is not instant.

it reflects what has been consistently held, not what was briefly entertained for an hour.

you’re asking

“does it take long?”

the real answer is

it takes as long as it takes for your state to settle.

not your affirmations.

not your techniques.

your state.

if you say

“i have it”

and then 20 minutes later

“i don’t have it”

and then 10 minutes later

“maybe it’s working”

and then

“no it’s not”

you’re not manifesting.

you’re flipping between identities.

and the 3D has nothing consistent to reflect.

manifestation isn’t about how hard you try.

it’s about how long you stay.

stay in the decision.

stay in the assumption.

stay in the version of you who already has it.

even when nothing is showing yet.

especially then.

right now your pattern looks like this

decide → wait → check → panic → quit

and you keep repeating it.

so you never actually reach the part where things shift.

you don’t need to do more.

you don’t need a better method.

you need to stop resetting yourself every hour.

here’s what it should look like instead

decide → hold → live → let it unfold

that’s it.

and no, you don’t need to feel 100% confident.

you don’t need to believe perfectly.

you don’t need to eliminate every doubt.

you just need to stop dropping the assumption every time you feel uncomfortable.

because that discomfort?

that’s the old state losing grip.

and you keep running back to it.

so if you want actual results, start here pick one thing.

decide it’s yours.

and stop checking every hour if it showed up yet.

live your life.

do what you need to do.

but internally?

don’t keep undoing your own decision.

because manifestation isn’t “i tried for an hour and nothing happened”

it’s about choosing something and not dropping it just because you can’t see it yet.

you don’t need more time.

you need more consistency.

this is the loop.

the quiet, invisible loop almost everyone gets stuck in when they start manifesting.

you say you’ll believe when you see it.

you say you’ll relax when it shows up.

you say you’ll feel secure when there’s proof.

but manifestation doesn’t work in that order.

it never has

you’re waiting for the 3D to confirm something before you allow yourself to feel it.

before you allow yourself to settle into it.

before you allow yourself to be the version of you who already has it.

and that sounds logical.

it sounds reasonable.

it sounds safe.

because why would you believe something without evidence?

why would you feel secure when nothing has changed yet?

why would you trust something you can’t see?

that’s how you’ve been taught to live.

proof first

belief second

but manifestation flips that completely.

belief first

proof second

and that’s the part you resist.

not because it’s complicated.

but because it feels like stepping into something without a guarantee.

it feels like jumping into deep water before you know how far it goes, trusting you’ll float.

and your mind hates that

your mind wants certainty

your mind wants confirmation

your mind wants something solid to hold onto before it commits.

so it keeps checking

keeps looking

keeps scanning your reality for evidence that things are changing.

and every time it doesn’t see immediate results, it panics.

“it’s not working"

“nothing is happening"

“maybe this isn’t real"

and just like that, you reset yourself.

you drop the belief.

you return to doubt.

you go back to waiting for proof.

this is why so many people stay stuck.

not because manifestation isn’t working.

but because they keep interrupting the process.

they plant the seed and then dig it up every few hours to check if it’s growing.

and of course it never grows.

because it’s never left alone long enough to take

root.

you have to understand something about belief.

belief is not something you wait to feel.

it’s something you choose to hold, even when it feels unnatural.

especially when it feels unnatural.

because your current sense of “natural” is based on your past.

your past experiences

your past failures

your past patterns

so of course a new belief feels foreign.

of course it feels fake

of course it feels like you’re lying to yourself at first.

you’re stepping outside of what you’ve practiced.

and anything unfamiliar will feel unstable.

that doesn’t mean it’s wrong

it just means it’s new

people think belief has to feel strong to work.

they think it has to feel unwavering.

perfect

certain

but that’s not true.

belief doesn’t need to be loud.

it doesn’t need to overpower every doubt.

it just needs to be consistent enough to stay.

you can doubt

you can question

you can have moments where it feels ridiculous.

and still choose to return to the belief.

over and over.

that’s what creates stability.

not perfection

but repetition

the problem is, most people don’t return.

they react.

something in the 3D doesn’t match what they want, and immediately

“see? it’s not happening.”

they let the external world override the internal decision.

and that’s where the loop restarts.

proof → belief → doubt → no proof → more doubt.

over and over again

manifestation asks you to break that loop.

not by forcing yourself into delusion.

but by changing the order.

belief → experience → confirmation.

you decide first

you hold it

you stop looking for immediate evidence.

and slowly, reality begins to reflect it.

not instantly

not dramatically

btt gradually

subtly

inevitably

this is the part nobody likes.

the in-between.

the space where you’ve decided something is yours, but you can’t see it yet.

the space where your old identity is still loud.

where your circumstances still look the same.

where your mind keeps asking

“are you sure?”

this is where most people quit.

because this is where it requires faith.

not certainty

faith

and faith is uncomfortable.

faith means holding something without proof.

faith means trusting something before it makes sense.

faith means continuing even when you don’t have confirmation yet.

and no, you don’t have to feel confident all the time.

you don’t have to silence every negative thought.

you don’t have to be perfect.

you just have to stop giving proof the power to decide what you believe.

because the moment you do that, you hand control back to your circumstances.

and your circumstances are always a reflection of the past.

so you stay stuck in the same cycle.

think about it like this.

if you only believe something once it shows up, you are always living in reaction mode.

you are always behind

you are always waiting for reality to lead.

but if you decide first, you move differently.

you think differently

you react differently

you stop reinforcing the same patterns.

and that’s when things begin to shift.

people underestimate how much their reactions shape their experience.

the moment something goes wrong, they spiral.

they assume the worst.

they reinforce the idea that nothing works for them.

and that reaction becomes part of the pattern.

but when you hold belief first, even when things don’t look right, something changes.

you don’t collapse as easily.

you don’t attach meaning to every delay.

you don’t interpret every silence as failure.

you stay steady

and that steadiness creates space for a different outcome.

manifestation is not about forcing reality.

it's about stabilizing identity.

and identity is built on what you consistently believe about yourself and your life.

if you constantly need proof to believe, your identity will always depend on external conditions.

it will always be unstable

always shifting

always reacting

but if you learn to hold belief without immediate proof, your identity becomes steady.

grounded

self-directed

and that’s when reality begins to follow.

because here’s the truth people don’t like to hear.

you will not always have proof in the beginning.

you will not always see immediate results.

you will not always feel certain.

there will be moments where it feels like nothing is happening.

moments where your old thoughts come back.

moments where you question everything.

that’s normal

that’s part of the process

not a sign of failure

the difference between people who eventually see change and those who don’t is simple.

one group keeps returning to the belief.

the other keeps waiting for proof.

so ask yourself honestly.

are you leading with belief?

or are you waiting to be convinced?

because those are two completely different positions

one creates

the other reacts

you don’t need more signs.

you don’t need more confirmation.

you don’t need the 3D to prove anything to you.

you need to decide

and then keep deciding

even when it’s quiet

even when it’s slow

even when it feels like nothing is happening.

because proof doesn’t come first.

it comes after

it comes when belief has been held long enough to become natural

when the identity stabilizes

when the pattern shifts

when the loop is finally broken

until then, you have a choice

wait for proof and stay where you are.

people overcomplicate manifestation like it’s some otherworldly,unreachable thing.

so let’s reduce it to math.

let’s say

x = your identity (what you assume about yourself & life)

y = your reality (what you experience in the 3D)

now the pattern most people live in looks like this

y → x

reality first. identity second.

something goes wrong → “see? my life never works out.”

someone leaves → “i’m always the one who gets abandoned.”

money is low → “i’m just broke.”

You let y define x.

and then what happens?

the equation loops.

because once x is set as

“i’m unlucky”

“i’m always behind”

“nothing works for me”

then naturally

x → y

identity produces more matching experiences.

so the loop becomes

y → x → y → x → y

same story. different day.

manifestation flips the equation.

you decide

x first.

not based on proof.

not based on current circumstances.

just a decision.

x =“life works in my favor.”

x = “everything works out for me.”

x = “i have everything i want"

and now instead of reacting to reality, you hold identity steady.

so when reality (y) doesn’t match yet

you don’t recalculate x.

you don’t go:

“oh wait, maybe i’m still unlucky.”

you hold the variable.

you keep x constant.

and over time?

y starts adjusting to match x.

this is where people mess up.

You treat identity like a temporary value.

You set

x = “i’m successful”

then one inconvenience happens and suddenly:

x = “never mind, it’s not working”

you just changed the equation again.

of course the result stays the same.

manifestation isn’t magic.

it’s consistency.

in math terms

stable input = predictable output

if x keeps changing, y can’t stabilize.

if x stays consistent, y eventually follows.

and no, this doesn’t mean ignoring your life.

you still solve problems.

you still take action.

you still exist in reality.

but internally?

you stop letting every external fluctuation rewrite your identity.

so the real question isn’t

“why isn’t my reality changing?”

it’s “am i keeping x constant, or am i recalculating every five minutes?”

because the equation is always working.

Not in a dramatic way. It wasn’t some deep spiritual awakening. I was just tired of myself, I guess. Tired of the life I had. So I wrote down the features, the traits, the life I would want if I could start over.

At that time I didn’t know anything about subliminals.

I didn’t know about manifestation.

I didn’t know about the void state or shifting.

I just had this quiet thought in the back of my head

Maybe in another life I could be different.

That notebook was basically me designing a version of myself I thought I would never actually get to experience.

And then years later late 2022 I randomly discovered subliminals.

Then in 2023 I found manifestation.

Then shifting.

Then the void state.

All these concepts built around the exact thing I used to daydream about: becoming a different version of yourself. Picking characteristics. Choosing a life.

Sometimes when I think about that timeline it feels almost surreal.

Because back then I thought the only way I could ever have those things was through reincarnation. Like I had to die first and start over somewhere else.

And now there are entire communities talking about changing your life, your identity, your reality in this lifetime.

I don’t know if I “manifested” finding all of this. I don’t know if that’s the right word. But sometimes it really feels like I did.

Like the desire existed first.

And then somehow I stumbled into the language for it years later.

The weird part is that I still haven’t entered the void state.

I still haven’t shifted.

Technically nothing “big” has happened yet.

But I’m still grateful I found out about all of this.

Because before that, the only story I had was

maybe in another life.

Now at least there’s a possibility that things can change here.

Even if it takes time.

Even if it takes longer than I expected.

Even if I’m still figuring it out.

Sometimes I think about what my life would look like if I never discovered any of this.

And honestly? I think I would still be that person writing in a notebook about a life I hoped I could live after I died.

So even if I haven’t “succeeded” yet, I’m still glad I know about it.

Because knowing the possibility exists already changed something in me.

and i don’t mean procrastinating tasks.

i mean procrastinating being the person who already has the thing.

because look at how some of you move in these spaces.

day one:

“i decided. it’s mine.”

day two:

“maybe i should read about the best manifestation method.”

day three:

“maybe my affirmations aren’t correct.”

day four:

“maybe i need a better script.”

day five:

“maybe the universe is testing me.”

do you see what’s happening?

that’s not manifesting.

that’s spiritual procrastination.

you’re delaying the one thing that actually matters occupying the state of the person who already has it.

instead you stay forever between intention and action.

new method.

new subliminal.

new technique.

new explanation.

because preparing feels safer than deciding.

deciding is terrifying.

because the moment you truly decide something is yours, you lose the comfort of “trying.”

and a lot of you are addicted to trying.

trying gives you a role.

trying gives you community.

trying gives you endless content to consume.

but having?

having requires you to stop searching.

and that silence freaks people out.

so instead of embodying the state, people procrastinate it.

they keep researching.

keep analyzing.

keep tweaking the process.

because as long as you’re “working on it,” you don’t have to confront the uncomfortable question what if the only thing left to do is trust my decision?

and trusting yourself is way harder than repeating affirmations.

that’s the part you don’t want to hear.

you can script for three hours.

you can robotic affirm all night.

you can listen to subliminals while you sleep.

but if your internal identity is still “i’m someone who is trying to get this,” then that’s the state you’re reinforcing.

not the state of having.

the state of trying.

and trying is just socially acceptable procrastination.

because think about it.

if you truly accepted that your desire is done, what would you even do all day?

you wouldn’t be obsessively checking the 3D.

you wouldn’t be refreshing shifting tags.

you wouldn’t be hunting for angel numbers like a detective.

you’d just live.

peacefully

simply

with certainty

and that certainty scares people.

because the ego wants movement.

it wants constant activity.

constant proof that something is happening.

but manifestation doesn’t require constant activity.

it requires state stability.

which often looks boring from the outside.

and boring is intolerable for an ego that’s used to chaos.

so people procrastinate the shift into certainty.

they keep themselves busy with techniques instead.

not because techniques are bad.

but because techniques become an excuse to avoid the real leap.

the leap into identity.

the leap where you stop saying

“i’m manifesting this.”

and start internally operating like

“i have everything in my life.”

and that shift is subtle.

there’s no cinematic boom.

no cosmic announcement.

just a subtle moment where the chasing stops.

and for a lot of people that moment feels almost hard to sit with.

because if you’re not chasing anymore

who are you?

you’re no longer the seeker.

no longer the struggler.

no longer the person trying to “figure it out.”

you’re just someone who decided.

and now reality is rearranging itself around that decision.

but some of you never allow yourselves to reach that point.

You'll forever stay on the self-improvement treadmill.

always preparing.

always learning.

always calibrating.

always saying

“once i perfect my method, then it will happen.”

but methods aren’t the delay.

indecision is.

you’re not waiting for the manifestation.

you’re waiting to feel safe enough to believe it’s already yours.

and until that happens, the mind will keep inventing new things to “work on.”

new affirmations.

new techniques.

new explanations.

anything except the simple, inconvenient act of settling into certainty

because certainty doesn’t feel like fireworks.

it feels like stillness.

I just wanna say that your posts about shifting, specifically you expressing your doubts, have really made me consider a lot of things in my own shifting journey.

For the most part, I'm dropping LOA. I've tried it before and I have had successes with it, but for shifting specifically? I've just gotten a lot of back and forth. Empowerment when it briefly goes right, then self blame when it goes slightly left. It eats at me more than it helps me and just leaves my mind in a flurry of doubts and affirmations when I find I'm not in my dr.

I think I just realised through your posts that it makes things feel complicated for me, while I always believed shifting is something meant to be easy. I'm tired of fighting with it

I've started taking a different turn in my journey without LOA, and my mind is a lot more quiet. I still have some ways to go I feel, but everything feels simpler. I'm getting used to that feeling, very much a "I don't know where to put my hands" moment, but I'll get there.

Again, thanks, genuinely. It finally truly feels like I'm making my journey my own, in my own way, exactly how I want it to be. 💐

hey<3

this genuinely means a lot to read like really.

one of the reasons i started writing about my doubts in the first place was because the shifting / LOA spaces online can feel very all-or-nothing. either you’re completely convinced, completely positive, completely “in the state” 24/7 or you’re doing something wrong. and that pressure can quietly eat at people.

so hearing that my posts helped you step back and actually look at your own relationship with it instead of just pushing harder makes me really happy. honestly what you described with LOA is something i’ve seen happen to a lot of people. when it works for a moment it feels incredibly empowering like wow, i really do have control over my reality. but when things wobble even a little, the same framework can turn inward and become self-blame. suddenly every thought is suspicious. every feeling is “am i ruining it?” every moment becomes monitoring your own mind and that’s fuckin exhausting. so if stepping away from that made your mind quieter, that’s not a step backwards at all.

sometimes quiet is exactly what people need after being in that constant loop of

affirm → check → doubt → affirm again.

and the way you described the feeling that slightly awkward “i don’t know where to put my hands” kind of calm is actually really relatable. when you stop fighting with something that’s been taking up so much mental space, there’s this weird empty room feeling at first. like your brain doesn’t quite know what to do with the silence yet.but that’s also where things start to feel more yours.

no pressure to follow a specific method.

no pressure to interpret every thought.

no pressure to make your journey look like someone else’s.

just you figuring out what actually feels natural for your mind.and honestly, i think that’s the healthiest direction anyone can take with this kind of thing. not forcing yourself to believe a framework that stresses you out, but adjusting the path until it actually supports you instead of draining you.

so i’m really glad you listened to yourself on that.it sounds like you’re giving your journey room to breathe again, and that’s a really good place to be even if it feels a little strange at first.

thank you for taking the time to tell me this too. it genuinely means a lot knowing the posts made someone pause and rethink things in a way that helped them.

You can just call me Poopy Pants bro