Seitan and his minions

Ingredients

Double batch of shortcrust pastry, chilled for at least 30 minutes

2T Vitalite, or other butter substitute

1 large onion, sliced

1t brown sugar

1 pack chestnut mushroom, chopped

200g seitan, chopped into bitesize chunks

1T cornflour

300ml vegetable stock (I used the leftover from the seitan!)

1T dried thyme

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 200C and grease a pie dish thoroughly

2. Divide the pastry into two, put half back in the fridge and roll the other half out, on a well floured surface, to around 0.5cm thickness in a rough circle. place into the pie dish, stab a fork into the bottom a bunch and bake in the oven for around 10 minutes, so the pastry is firm, but not completely baked. 

3. Heat the Vitalite in a large pan, add the onions and sugar and cook for around 15-20 minutes until the onions are starting the caremalise.

4. Add the mushrooms and cook for another 5 minutes or so, so that the juice is just starting to seep out. Add in the seitan.

5. Sprinkle the cornflour over everything and stir well, making sure all the flour gets absorbed (the roux!). Then add the vegetable stock and thyme. 

6. Bring to the boil and then reduce the heat to simmer for about 20 minutes more.

7. Remove your pie crust from the oven and let cool. Remove the other half of the pastry from the fridge and roll out again into a rough circle bit enough to fit the top of the pie.

8. When your filling is cooked, pour into the pie crust, top with the remaining pastry, crimp the edge and pierce a couple of times with a fork again. This lets steam out of the pie whilst cooking and reduces the likelihood of an unplanned middle-class kitchen explosion. You can also brush the top of the pastry with a little soy milk for a glaze before you bake it.

2T oil

1 two-pack Vegusto farmhouse style sausages, halved and chopped chunky

4 cloves of garlic, chopped

2 large leeks, washed and sliced on the diagonal

2 tins of butter beans, drained and rinsed

500ml/2 cups vegetable stock

1T marmite (yeast extract)

2t cayenne pepper

1t paprika

4 slices of stale bread

1. Preheat the oven to 200C and lightly grease a large, deep baking tray

2. Heat the oil over a medium heat and fry the sausages until they are browned. Put into a dish and set aside

3. Pop a little more oil in the pan and add the leeks and half the garlic, cook for about 5 minutes. 

4. Add the beans, vegetable stock, marmite and spices, cover and cook for a further 10 minutes or until the leeks are soft.

5. Add the sausages back into the mixture, stir and pour everything into the baking tray.

6. Tear the bread into a food processor and add the remaining garlic. Blitz until you have small breadcrumbs.

4 carrots, scrubbed, topped and tailed

2 beetroot of any kind, peeled, topped and tailed

4T toasted sesame oil

2T white vingear (I used cider vinegar, but any will do)

1T balsamic vinegar

4T sesame seeds

For the roasted vegetables

Any root vegetables of your choice, sliced long and thin (or cubed if that's not suitable). I used carrots, parsnips. beetroot and garlic.

Oil to cover (you could use olive or vegetables oil)

Maple syrup

Salt and pepper

1. Preheat the oven to about 175C

2. Place the prepared vegetables in the tray, toss lightly in the oil, then pour maple syrup over the top (it's good if it comes in a squirt bottle - you're not trying to drench the vegetables in syrup like you might with ice cream, you just want a nice sugary edge to them). Toss again. Grind some black pepper on and sprinkle with a little salt.

3. Place in the oven and roast for at least an hour, checking every 20 minutes and giving the pan a shake so the vegetables don't stick.

For the lentil burgers

200g red lentils, rinsed

Half a red onion, chopped finely

3 cloves of garlic, pressed

Herbs: basil, oregano, sage, pepper

Spices: paprika, chili flakes

Handful of winter greens (or kale or spinach)

250g mushrooms, chopped

1T balsamic vinegar

1t mustard

Bread crumbs

2T Nutritional yeast

200-400g pieces of bread, crumbled into breadcrumbs

1. Place the lentils in a pan, just cover with water and boil for around 10 minutes, until the water is all absorbed and the lentils are soft. 

2. In the mean time, fry the onion until they're translucent. Add the garlic and the herbs and spices and fry for a minute or two more.

3. Add the mushrooms and fry everything up until the mushrooms are almost done. Now add the greens, lower the heat and cover, allowing the leaves to wilt.

4. Remove the lentils and the vegetables from the heat. Place the lentils in a bowl. Add the vinegar, mustard and nutritional yeast and stir well.

5. Add the fried vegetables to the lentil mix and combine everything really well.

6. At this point, get your bread crumbs out. You need the mixture to be dry enough to form the patties. Add the breadcrumbs, maybe 100g at a time until your mixture is sticky but formable. You don't want to pour loads in and end up with something dry and crumbly, so take care.

7 TO FRY: Once the patties are formed, fry them in a pan with a little oil over a medium heat until they are nice and crispy on the outside. I'm sure they would also bake if you want to cut out the frying. 

Ingredients (makes around 5)

1 cup / 125g self raising flour

2T baking powder

2T sugar

Pinch of nutmeg

Pinch of cinnamon

1t vanilla

1 cup / 240ml almond milk

2T canola or vegetable oil

1. Mix the dry ingredients together in a large bowl and make a well in the middle. Pour the milk, vanilla and oil into the flour mix and whisk everything together until well combined

2. Leave the batter to stand for at least 30 minutes - until you start to see bubbles forming on the surface. This will ensure you have light, fluffy pancakes

3. Heat a non-stick pan over a medium heat and pour the batter in around half a cup at a time (if you don't have measuring cups you could use a small coffee cup, which is about the same) you don't need lots of batter since the pancakes rise and expand really quickly

Ingredients

2T oil

4 spring onions, chopped into rounds

Half a large or a medium sized leek, chopped into rounds

3 cloves garlic, sliced

2 small beetroot, grated

2 good handfuls of bok choi, sliced lengthwise

(I forgot this) A handful of kale, torn

2 packs instant noodles

A few good glugs of soy sauce

1 heaped T of peanut butter

1. Boil a kettle and start cooking the noodles. Use any flavouring they come with - ours had a green curry flavour, but it really doesn't matter. Who knows what magical concoction you will create? Isn't cooking fun?

2. In a wok, heat the oil over a medium heat and throw in the garlic, leeks and spring onions. Give everything a good coating in the oil and let fry for a minute or two

3. Add the beetroot and fry for another 2 minutes, then add the bok choi and let it wilt a little

4. At this stage, add the cooked noodles and all the water in the pan into the vegetables and give it a stir. Now add the soy sauce and the peanut butter. Add a bit more water if it's a bit dry - you need some liquid for the peanut butter to break down into. 

5. (Optional) Have your friend Alex hold your plate under a light so you can take a picture of it.

Ingredients

2T oil

Half a courgette, chopped into rounds

A small leek, chopped into rounds

3 cloves of garlic, sliced

5 mushrooms, sliced

A pinch of Italian herbs

A pinch of smoked paprika

Salt and pepper to taste

A handful of torn kale

A little cold water

250g pasta

1. Boil the kettle and put the pasta on

2. Heat the oil over a medium heat in a large skillet/frying pan with a lid. Add the garlic and leeks and fry, uncovered, for a couple of minutes. 

3. Add in the courgette, mushrooms, herbs and spices and fry for another 5 minutes or so. Check on the pasta and give it a stir.

4. At the last minute, add a splash of water into the pan, throw in the kale and cover the pan. Let it go for about 30 seconds so the kale is just wilting. 

 For the base (makes enough for 3 large pizzas):

3 cups plain flour + extra for kneading

2.5t yeast

1 cup warm water (not hot)

1t salt

0.5t sugar

1T olive oil

NB. Watch for the kind of yeast you have - if you have easy bake yeast, you can add it straight to the dry ingredients. But there is also active yeast which you will need to prime by adding to the water with a little sugar and leaving for a few minutes to froth. Follow the directions on the yeast you have. I've put stuff in brackets below to help you (I hope).

1. Add the flour, salt (sugar and yeast) to a mixing bowl and combine

2. Make a well in the flour mixture and pour in the water (with yeast and sugar) and olive oil and combine with a wooden spoon, then get your hands in there and squish it all into a smooth dough. 

3. Transfer the dough to a well floured surface and knead for around 5-10 minutes. The key is not to let the dough become stiff, otherwise you will have over-developed the gluten. If you're unsure about kneading, or you haven't done it before, there are some great tutorials on youtube :)

4. Clean and then lightly grease your mixing bowl, place the dough inside it, cover with a clean cloth or with cling film and let it rise for about an hour. It should have about doubled in size. In the mean time, start the sauce:

For the bombay sauce:

3-4 cloves garlic, sliced or pressed

2 green chilis (or more if you like), deseeded and chopped

large thumb of ginger, peeled and chopped

2T oil

3t Garam Masala

0.5t ground cardamom

1.5t paprika

1t basil

1t sage

0.5t cinnamon

2 large tomatoes. chopped

1 vegetable stock cube or a1t of bouillon

1 large handful of fresh coriander, chopped + extra for topping later

A little water in case it gets a bit dry

NB. I literally made this up as I went along. Use whatever spices you like. Go mad. This is, after all, experimental.

1. Heat the oil over a medium heat and fry the garlic, chili and ginger for a couple of minutes - try not to burn stuff.

2. Add your spices here and get everything well coated. Dry fry for a minute or so. If it starts to smoke just add a splash of water to the pan and deglaze it (use your spatula to rub all the fried on bits off the bottom of the pan and back into the mixture)

3. Add your tomatoes and stock/bouillon, give everything a good stir and turn the heat down to low. Cover the pan and let the tomatoes cook down into a mush. Check it occasionally and stir everything so it combines well, it should take around 15-20 minutes depending on your tomatoes. What you will end up with is a gooey thick sauce that you can put straight onto the pizza without blending. *high five* for energy saving. That's how we roll. Once it's done, add the coriander, give it a stir then take it off the heat and leave it to stand.

[I can recommend enlisting slave labour your partner/friend/person/cat to do the dirty work. They probably won't form a union if you promise them pizza.]

The toppings:

3 medium red potatoes, washed and sliced

2 Jerusalem artichokes, washed and sliced

1 medium onion, sliced into rounds

1. Bring a large pot of slightly salted water to the boil and add the artichokes first. After about 5 minutes, add the potatoes and par boil for about 5 more minutes. Don't overcook the potatoes. It will make me cry. It did almost actually make me cry because we overcooked the potatoes. Pizza-making is emotional.

2. Drain the water off and set aside. Try not to cry.

3. Fry the onions in a little oil over a medium heat until nice and brown. Set aside to cool a little.

[Masterful use of the spoon]

Putting it all together:

1. Preheat your oven to about 250C (make sure it's properly heated before you put anything in it!)

2. Take your risen pizza dough and split it 3 ways. Freeze anything you don't want to use now, it'll keep for a few days. 

3, Roll out the dough on a floured surface (if you want to try spinning it like those Italian chefs then I wish you luck, it will *probably* come out of your clothes.) Put the base onto preferably a pizza pan or stone or otherwise on a baking sheet or basically anything you can get your hands on. We used an upturned roasting tray and two cake tin bottoms because we are awesome.

3. Spread your bombay sauce onto the dough. The back of a spoon is your friend here for getting an even coating. Then arrange your potato slices and artichokes on top of the sauce, throw on the left over coriander (you remembered that right?) and sprinkle with a little paprika to make it look professional and shit.

4. Place in the oven and cook for about 10 minutes. The base should be nicely golden brown around the edges. 

5. Remove from oven, slice and insert large quantities into your face.

Field Notes

Pizza 1: The original.

If I were going to make this again, I would only use artichokes. But I don't really like potatoes that much. I also kinda overcooked the potatoes and they went all crumbly and awful. Why do potatoes hate me? The artichokes were AMAZING. 

Pizza 2:

We added tomato chutney in between the sauce and the potatoes. Shit just got real.

Pizza 3:

We ran out of bombay sauce, so we used some regular sauce that I had leftover from last time I made pizza. I realise you probably don't have this, but in case you do or in case you really don't like curry (why?) we made the third pizza with potatoes, onions and sun dried tomatoes. It was actually really good.

Ingredients (serves about 4 by the looks of it)

For the stew

1 large onion, chopped

3-4 cloves garlic, chopped

2T oil

3 big sprigs of rosemary

0.5t fresh sage or 1t dried

1t paprika

0.25t ground cardamom 

0.5t herbs de province

Good helpings of salt and pepper

3 medium carrots, washed and chopped

2 medium parsnips, washed and chopped

1 small swede, peeled and chopped

2-3T flour

Approx. 1L vegetable stock

A couple of handfuls of kale

For the dumplings

100g flour

1t baking powder

1t any herbs you like (I used some fresh sage and basil)

0.25t salt

50ml unsweetened soy milk

1T oil

Method

1. In a large, deep pan, heat oil over a medium heat and fry the onions until they are translucent. Then add the garlic and fry for another minute or so. You know the drill.

2. Next add your herbs salt and pepper and fry for another minute or so.

3. Now put all your vegetables in the pan, give everything a good stir, turn down the heat and cover the pan. This lets the vegetables sweat a little. Let this go for 3-4 minutes and be careful things don't burn.

4. ROUX TIME! Uncover your pan and sprinkle the flour over the top of your veg. Give everything a good stir. Add the flour a tablespoon at a time - the aim of the game is to give everything a light covering, not to cake it all until it's dry. The mixture should still be set. Quickly add the vegetable stock - enough to cover everything - and stir again until everything is combined. Bring to the boil and then simmer, covered for around 15-20 minutes, until the vegetables are fairly soft.

5. Now you've set off the stew, you can make your dumplings. Add the flour, baking powder, salt and herbs to a mixing bowl. Make a well in the centre and then add the milk and oil. stir it all together and then finish it with your hands. It should form a sticky dough. If it's a bit dry you could add a little more milk or if it's too wet add some flour.

NB. If you are actually feeding four, then you could double the dumpling recipe to get enough for everyone!

6. Once the veg are fairly soft, you should add the kale into the mix. Give the stew a good stir and feel free to add a little water if it's getting dry.

Side note: when preparing the squash, don't throw away the seeds! Wash off the fleshy bits holding them together, place in a baking try with a little salt (you can also use a little oil but it's not essential) and roast for around 10 minutes on 200C. You can either snack on them while you're cooking or put them into the dish for some extra crunch.

Ingredients (serves 4)

500g squash, peeled and chopped into 2cm chunks

1T olive oil

250g wholewheat pasta

250g cashew nuts, soaked overnight

240ml vegetable broth

2-3 cloves of garlic, peeled and roughly chopped

1 medium bunch of coriander, rinsed and chopped

1 large handful of spinach leaves or kale or other greens you like

Juice of half a lime

2T nutritional yeast

0.5t asafoetida

0.5t paprika

1-2 chilis, deseeded and roughly chopped

Salt and pepper

1. Preheat your oven to 200C and boil a kettle.

2. Place your squash pieces onto a baking sheet and toss lightly in olive oil and bake in the oven for around 10-15 or until god and tender. See if you can very easily slice it with a knife. Don't let it burn!

3. Pour the boiled water into a large pan and bring back to the boil. Place in the pasta, reduce the heat and simmer for around 10 minutes (or whatever the packaging says).

4. Place the rest of the ingredients, except the spinach, into a blender so they're ready for the squash. Add a few good dashes of salt and pepper.

5. Use a steamer to steam the spinach, or you can boil it in a little water until tender, again, try not to cook it down to a goo!

6. Once the squash is roasted, pop it in the blender with the rest of the ingredients and blend everything together until you have a smooth, creamy sauce. If you find it to be a little thick, just add some more water until you get the desired consistency.

Serves 6-8

Ingredients

Half a small red cabbage, shredded

4-5 medium sized savoy cabbage leaves, shredded

Half a beetroot, grated

200ml orange juice

juice of 1 lemon and 1 lime

3-4 cloves of garlic, chopped

1 medium bunch of coriander, chopped

1T maple syrup

100ml vegetable oil

Salt and Pepper to taste

1. Add the cabbages and beetroot in a large bowl

2. In a food processor (or separate bowl for blending), add the rest of the ingredients and blend on high for a couple of minutes until you have a smooth creamy looking vinaigrette 

3. Pour the vinaigrette on to the vegetables and combine well (use your hands!) until everything is well coated. 

Ingredients (make 4-6 servings)

2 leeks, washed and chopped into rounds

4 cloves of garlic, chopped

1 red pepper, chopped into small chunks

2 medium or 3 small carrots, chopped into half moons

1 punnet of mushrooms, sliced

Large sprig of rosemary, chopped

1 tin of chopped tomatoes

250g pearl barley

1L vegetables broth (with optional marmite added!)

3-4 handfuls of kale

1T olive oil

Salt and Pepper to taste

Method

1. Heat the oil over a medium heat, add the leeks with a generous helping of salt and pepper and sautee until browning - takes about 5 minutes (watch they don't burn!)

2. Add the garlic and cook for another minute or so

3. Add the carrots, pepper, mushrooms and rosemary and continue to cook down for another 5-10 minutes so everything starts to go nice and soft. Make sure you stir regularly to prevent it from burning

4. Next goes in the tin of tomatoes, give a good stir then add the pealr barley and stir in again. Let this cook for  a minute or two

5. Finally add the vegetable stock. Don't pour all of the stock in at this point - just enough to cover the vegetable mix. Bring to a boil and then simmer for about 20 minutes until the barley is soft adding stock a little at a time as needed

6. Once the barley is mostly done, tear the kale into the pot and stir into the stew, Add the rest of the stock and let the whole thing cook slowly until everything is of the desired consistency

 2T soy butter

4 medium cooking onions, sliced thinly

2-3 cloves garlic, chopped or crushed

1t salt

1t brown sugar

1T wholemeal flour or 2T of milled flaxseed

0.5L vegetable stock

200ml brown beer or ale - don't forget to check Barnivore

Pinch of thyme

2t marmite

1T of hemp seed (optional)

1. Heat up the butter over a low to medium heat in a big heavy pan. Add the onions and garlic then stir in the salt and sugar, making sure to coat everything well. Cover with a lid and let the onions 'sweat' for 5-10 minutes. The salt draws the liquid out of the onions which should be slowly cooking in the juices - if they're burning, turn your hob right down.

2. Once the onions are nice and golden and sort of soggy, turn your hob down to a low heat and continue to cook the onions for another 20 minutes or so.You'll get a sort of brown goo forming on the bottom of the pan.

3. When the onions are well caramelised, add the flour (if you're using flaxseed don't add this here - wait until you've added the liquid), again coating the onions well and drying up any remaining liquid in the pan.

4. Add the stock, beer, thyme, hemp, (flaxseed if you're using it) and marmite and stir well. Cover again and stir regularly checking that the soup is thickening. 

5. Leave to cook through for another 45 minutes or so on a low-medium heat, reducing some of the liquid from the pan. If it's a bit runny, pour a couple of tablespoons of the liquid soup mix into a small bowl or cup and add another 1/2-1 T of flour and mix to form a paste. Add this back into the pan and stir continuously until thickened. 

If you're making the pastry, you want at least 1 hour before you intend to start making the filling as the pastry needs to sit in the fridge for half an hour minimum before you use it. 

Also, pro tip: You don't have to soak your cashew nuts overnight (unless you want to of course) we discovered you can just boil them for 10 minutes and they soften right up :D

For the pastry

Make one serving of shortcrust pastry

For the filling

1 T olive oil

1 onion, chopped finely

3 cloves garlic (or more to taste), chopped or crushed

1 bunch or a generous couple of handfuls of kale or spinach

0.25 lb (120g) mushrooms, sliced or chopped

0.5 cups (110g) raw cashew nuts, soaked or boiled for 10 minutes

0.5 packet of firm tofu - a good handful piece

4 T nutritional yeast

4 T soy milk or other non-dairy milk

Turmeric, paprika, salt, pepper, chilli flakes (optional) - premix this so it's ready to pop straight into the blender

Preheat your oven to 375F/190C (or if you're using a pre-made pastry check the package instructions.

1. Roll out your pastry and line a 9" pie dish

2. Heat the oil over a medium heat and sautee the onions and garlic until the onions are translucent. Add the mushrooms and cook for another 5 minutes. If you're using really tough kale then add this when the mushrooms are done and cover the pan to help it wilt. If you're using the pathetic floppy stuff we get here in Texas or if you're using spinach, then don't do this just yet!

3. Blend your cashew nuts until they are really smooth (see note above). Then add in your tofu, nutritional yeast, soy milk and spice mix. Get your spatula in there to bother it and make sure it's blended into a good smooth batter.

4. If you're using aforementioned wilty kale or spinach, put it into the saucepan now and let it wilt for about 2 minutes.

5. Now add the onion mixture to your tofu batter and give it a good stir. Add some seasoning and do a taste test. Hell, let your imagination run wild and add something crazy!

6. Pour your delicious concoction into the pastry shell, decorate with some paprika or other things that take your fancy....you might have some leftover pastry from the edges of the pie pan?

7. Bake for around 30 mins. Poke with a knife to check it's cooked in the middle (if it's gooey give it another 5-10 minutes and keep checking. The pastry edges should be nice and golden.

My pro tip here is to soak your porridge oats overnight - a little trick I learned from Mattilda during my time at the 106 housing co-op. Helps you get some extra goodness from your oats as well as making the porride super quick to make since all you have to do is heat it up.

Ingredients

1 ripe banana, mashed

1-2 handfuls of whole rolled oats, depending on how hungry you are ;)

1 cup/240ml your favourite milk alternative

1/4 cup/60ml water

a selection of berries or other fruit you like, chopped and rinsed.

2 T ground golden flaxseed

If you're soaking the porridge, pop the oats, milk and water into a (preferably non-stick) pan and give it a stir to make sure everything is covered, feel free to add more if needed, it will all cook off or soak up. Cover and leave overnight whilst you catch up on beauty sleep.

In the morning, turn the hob on to a medium heat, milk will boil faster and at a lower temperature than water and you don't want it to burn. Give the porridge a stir with a wooden or rubber spatular now and again to guage the thickness. Whilst this is going on, mash the banana and slice up and rinse your berries or fruit. Once the porridge is at a nice consistency - thick and with little or no liquid left - pour it on top of the mashed banana and stir. Toss in the berries and flaxseed (you can mix them in if you want or just put them on top). Ta da! Easiest and tastiest breakfast ever.

First things first - you need to marinade your tempeh for at least 2 hours...more if you can. Just so you know - I hate it when I go to make a recipe and realise something has to be soaked for 4 hours before I use it. But I'm just inobservant like that.

Ingredients (serves 1 hungry person or 2 people as a snack)

For the tempeh

6oz tempeh, cut into bite-sized pieces, or sliced.

1 T soy sauce

1 T olive oil

1 T maple syrup/agave

salt and pepper to taste

A small dash of chili powder or flakes

0.5 t cumin

0.5 t some sort of bbq blend or other spice mix you like (I used my cajun spice mix)

Mix the soy sauce, olive oil, syrup and spices together to make a dark gooey marinade. Toss the tempeh pieces in and make sure they are well coated, then leave for at least 2 hours - I think mine were in for about 2.5 hours and they were just fine.

Once they're done soaking, fry them in a little oil over a medium heat until they are crispy. Move them onto a paper towel to soak out any excess oil once they're cooked enough.

For the fillings

2 large flour tortillas

1 small courgette, sliced diagonally

sliced lettuce, red pepper, other salad items you like

guacamole

vegan pepperjack cheese

I love to griddle fry courgettes - just coat your frying pan with some spray oil or a thin layer of any cooking oil and fry the courgette slices, flipping them after 5 minutes or so. They go crispy and delicious. 

And now for the fun bit: put the salad along the bottom followed by the tempeh pieces and courgette slices. Then top with guacamole and pepperjack cheese (or any other good melty vegan cheese). When I made these I put them briefly under the grill to get the cheese to melt - safe to say the first one got a little over cooked, so watch out for that...if you can control the heat of your grill, make it a medium. Toasting the tortilla makes it more difficult to roll. You don't have to grill it, obviously, you might just want it cold.