crow, risu, whatever. i have lots of hopes and dreams and stuff, but also lots of struggles. so this is sort of my diary?
will probably post about my sewing projects, plants and weird thoughts i have. sometimes there will be something else. maybe progress on my studies, maybe some shitty poetry i might write
i like many things, most notably languages, sewing, and drawing (go to @crowghosty for my drawing stuff :))
calling this a healing journey, because that's what i'm trying to do: heal and grow :)
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so, technically today is my 3 year anniversary of starting to learn dutch
problem is, i haven't actually been actively learning it for over a year
but now i want to start again, and do it properly this time
i wasn't good at studying when i started, i didn't have much of a plan or method, so it kinda fizzled out as i lost my aim... but now i know better
i have a plan, a goal, and plenty of motivation !! whereas before i was studying dutch just bcs it seemed like an interesting language, now i have music i listen to and such (which i've noticed to play a big part in my motivation)
i already went over pronunciation rules in detail, and i'm planning on slowly going over all the grammar i had learned previously during the next couple months. but i think it would be more important for me to gather more vocab, so i can start trying to make sentences and use the language
i'm actually really excited to get back into it !! i want to do this properly this time, no half-assing hhh
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made some lime+white chocolate cheesecake <3 it's so good man
so much has changed in a year, it's pretty wild to think about: new friend group, new hobbies, new responsibilities, starting my transition, and a whole lot more confidence and certainty in who i am and what i want from life
i think i'm pretty happy now, and that's the most important thing isn't it?
okay i think i'll try to do these like twice a month or smth, let's see :)
uni studies: dropped hungarian T-T i just couldn't do it rn, but i promised to do it next year + mandatory swedish is going horribly hhh
own studies: slowly getting through my anki backlog, rearranged my weekly korean schedule, and i have forgotten it a couple times but daily korean+portuguese sentences are really fun to make :)
life: i finally have time for archery !! really difficult but i really like it
->-> next goal: catch up on estonian+hungarian notes
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i really wanna get into the habit of posting more here this year, but i don't really know what to post most of the time
so uni update! currently taking courses in komi and translation, and doing the mandatory english+swedish courses (i'm so scared of the swedish one pls help T-T)
also somehow became the chair of our student association, so uhhh... gonna be busy, but it feels like good busy instead of what went down in autumn
i am a different person than who i was last year. my hair is longer and i cry less and i am stronger. i am a different person than who i was six months ago. i am free and different and am embracing change. i am a different person than who i was a month ago. i sit in the sunlight without worry and i don’t let things stick and i look up and smile. i am a different person than who i was last week. i explore more and look at the sky and laugh more. i am a different person than who i was yesterday. i let go and breathe. i am whole.
i've accepted that my pace is a lot slower than others, but i'm still proud
it's surreal. 3 years. wow
now, i'm not very advanced yet, quite awkward with making sentences and only slowly getting used to speaking. but if given time to think (and a dictionary for rarer vocab), i can express most of my thoughts in korean
and that's kind of what i'm focusing on now: using the language. recording myself speaking, writing little journal entries of my thoughts, watching videos and streams even if i don't understand much, etc etc
i also want to expand my vocabulary a lot. i know a lot of general vocab, but when talking about my interests i find myself searching for words to use constantly. that would also be vocab i would actually use, so i think it would be useful and not just fodder for the sake of it
one thing i'm planning on now as a sort of "celebration" for this milestone, is doing old topik I tests as practice. i want to go do the topik test next year (either in winter/spring or autumn, whichever they hold here next), so i wanna practice since i'm not really used to the type of language used in tests, i've almost never had practice questions like that. i'm also planning on writing down all the new/unfamiliar words and expressions while doing it, so i can look them up later and study them. i think it's a good idea :)
but yeah, going strong and not gonna stop !! i also found some friends irl who also want to start learning korean, so i think it'll be fun helping them learn !!!
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it feels so strange when i go to the store, there's signs saying "these tangerines are in season right now!" but when i go back outside with those tiny pieces of sun, it's nearing 0°C and the sun has already set before i get home. somewhere out there far away, they're living a different life, they don't know the chill that settles in my bones each year
we're told to eat more tangerines in the winter, borrowing slices of sunlight from that far away place
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