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Aromantic folks are no “less Queer”.

Bi/Mspec folks are no “less Queer”.

I made a point that he is the one who tell whether not he's a part of a community, for starters. But it gets deeper than that. A community isn't something you have to "earn" being a part of by how much violence and struggle you've been under because of your identity, as much as it is a part of being openly queer, it's much more than that.

And if you measure how worth someone's queerness is by how much they suffer, all you gonna get is a fight over marginalized identities, provoking our separation and disunion, which is exactly what the systems wants. Besides, masculine queer women and poc transfems are always the ones to be targeted first, so this fight is again, useless.

Being a part of the queer community doesn't always mean to be queer but to support, help and/or fight for them, provide household, help with campaign, make numbers at protests, protecting and helping them if u can. remember when the lesbian community went to provide help for the gays men who were dying bc of HIV. thats what community means. Taking care, protecting and supporting each other.

I had mentioned to another queer friend, how this friend was feeling, and their response was that they didn't believe the cishet person was aroace. Didn't believe they were queer and claimed they were just trying to invade the space, and even if they were aroace, it didn't matter, because they were cishet, and cishets cant be in the community.

A cis queer said that. It was perplexing for me to hear, because ...what?

Thats what peoples excuse is. The person is cishet (or even just het.)

But that's of course not all it boils down to.

It's aphobia.

It's ignorance to the split attraction model, something that a lot of aspec people find helpful and validating for expressing their experiences and self.

It's ignorance and denial to the struggles aspec people face.

(and I think something should be said about how allo people dismiss this discrimination and act like its not a thing while being in a position of favour in an allo/amatonormative world.)

I don't know if anybody needs to hear this, but:

What makes somebody else queer might not be what makes you queer. That is completely okay. Nothing is wrong with that.

When people gatekeep queerness, you know what comes to mind? That one saying about how 'somebody will pick on you because they're insecure in themself'.

I think that can be applied to a lot of these situations.

I get the impression some people believe if a person whos identity contradicts their own in some way is valid then theirs must be invalid. They invalidate the others in order to validate themself.

But the truth is they don't invalidate each other. Their identity is theirs and yours is yours. It's completely personal and if you feel you're being effected by theirs for no other reason other than because its there, that's not their fault.

Your priority should be validating yourself, not invalidating others. Identity is a personal experience, not a wrong or right one.

Marginalized groups can contribute to the oppression of other marginalized groups, your status as a minority does not cancel out your ability to cause harm and it doesn't make what privileges you do have obsolete. Everybody has biases to some extent, it's too embedded to avoid, but it is possible to unlearn.

Having privilege is also not something to disassociate yourself from. It's a lack of oppression. It isn't an indication of your morality. What you do with it is what matters. You can use it not just for yourself but to help others who don't have that.

Your privileges also don't cancel out oppression you may face.

Cis queer people are obviously welcome in the community, and people seem to forget that trans het people exist and they are welcome too.

There are queer people who are cis, there are queer people who are straight. That's a fact. (even though some people seem to completely forget about trans het people)

So I dont believe people who gatekeep aspec cishets from the community are doing so solely because they are cis/het. It's because they don't view aro/ace people as queer.

If we can acknowledge that sex and gender are different and a spectrum, We can acknowledge sexual and romantic orientation is that way as well. It's not a straight line.

no facet of ones identity invalidates another part of it. They can co-exist as well.

Aspec people are queer.

Being cishet does not take away that queerness either.

They are all queer enough.

not really comparing but more admiring and i SWEAR EVENTUALLY ILL DRAW IT REVERSED BUT THIS WAS EATING MY BRAIN

A victim literally escaped Jeffrey Dahmer’s apartment naked with a hole drilled in his head and unable to speak but police let Dahmer take him back to his apartment like everything was ok!

And I guess he doesn’t count as a serial killer but Eric Harris had already been making threats and harrassing students to an extreme degree before Columbine- police literally had a search warrant but they just never acted on it. If they had, they would have found the guns and pipe bombs and the shooting could have been easily prevented. They even tried to cover this up afterwards.