VANTA

I wonder if they're going to a tent somewhere

His worst nightmare fr fr

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

@vantaban its halloween time to get spooky

ITS HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY (post date 3-15-2023)

“Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans.” “Why? Are they more aggressive than we anticipated?” “It seems to be the opposite Commander. Just this morning a crewman nearly lost their hand when attempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world. Their reaction to the attack was to call the creature a “mean kitty” and vow to win it over. Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readily with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alien creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed. I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy’s fauna.” “I see what you mean. So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer. And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these “puppies” so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated. 

Ehehehe I love this! Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 90% cuter and more epic

Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone.

“Seriously. Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they will make their own. I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets they can get… creative. Don’t even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby. Three weeks in and when we finally caught the wretched thing, half the humans on crew tried to revolt about us “killing” Stabby by removing the knife. “How… how did you resolve that sir?” “Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead. Quite a creative solution, I suppose.” “And that sated the humans? “Worse.” “Worse?” “They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on springs to both and held mock battles. Then decided Stabby and Knifey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage fights between them any more.”