☆NAT☆

~ chapter ONE ~

There was nothing gentle about the art, but there was nothing cruel about the artist, either.

Astrid Lavigne—she had a gift for noise, a knack for graphic design, and a voice too melancholy it betrays everything she does.

Astrid likes to chain-smoke American Spirits, sitting on a lounge chair in the balcony of her loft, while she fumbles with a riff on her guitar. The melody had no lyrics—yet. But she always goes to clubs and complains about the constant presence of Marlboros and how certain bands these days lacked creativity.

Astrid likes to draw and write—especially for the local music zine, SoundCheck, one she started with a couple of girls a few years ago, quickly gaining popularity. However, her wrists act up, her fingers lock randomly, and she hates notoriety.

Astrid is a punk-rocker, playing in a noisy, post-riot grrrl band, her voice unable to be heard from all the screeching of guitar feedback. However, she doesn't like labels, and her voice is clear enough, at least for those in front row.

It seems everything about her clashes with each other.

But that's her. Wild, unpredictable, and loud, yet still tamed, obvious, and silent.

Difficult, hypocritical.

Complicated?

That didn't matter to her. It could be worse, she thought.

It could be the couple next door, fighting for the fifth time this week.

She heard the couple's words through the walls. They weren't soundproofed.

"You're naive!"

"Well, you're controlling!"

Astrid rolled her eyes. She knew how this was going to play out.

"I know what I'm doing," the woman said. "I don't care what you think! I don't care what you say—!"

"Seems like it," the man replied. "I see it all, and I don't say shit because..."

He trails off, only for the silence to be cut off by his wife. "Oh, really? Really? Well, then, what is it? What do you have to say to me that's so important?"

At this point, Astrid couldn't help herself. She began to mimic the man's reactions, mouthing his words.

Sigh. "Nothing. It's stupid anyway."

The silence afterwards is loud.

Astrid sat in thought in that silence. Her neighbors were unhappy. Yet they still stayed together. It was like they were on two separate boats, but going in the same direction.

She thought about her analogy for a moment. She decided it was stupid. No way she'd use something corny for a lyric.

She took one look at the calendar. April 25th, 2001. The clock above ticked far too louder than normal. Astrid began fiddling with her guitar to keep herself from getting too overwhelmed.

Her fingers on her left hand locked.

"Shit!" She yelled sharply, plus a string of other profanities. The guitar was still held in place against her, as the fingers used to push on the fretboard were the ones with the problem this time. Using her free hand, she dropped her pick, pulled up her shirt collar, placing it between her teeth, then gripped her fingers. She nodded three times as if she were counting down, then pulled her fingers.

A burst of pain enveloped her. She bit down on her shirt collar hard to keep from screaming, but the jaw-clenched groan was still pretty loud.

It didn't work. So she did once again, twice again until she heard a pop.

It worked.

She bent her fingers slowly, cautious still, sighing.

This was Astrid's life. It was interesting in certain moments. But moments like these? She wanted to run.

"Fuckin' joint pain," She murmured, annoyed.

Her rotary phone rang from the kitchen wall. She got up from the lounge chair outside, went back into the main house and into the kitchen, answering the phone.

"Yeah?" Astrid said flatly.

"Hey, Astrid!" A girl's raspy voice filed the other line. It was Allee, one of the girls who helped create SoundCheck. "How ya doing?"

"Painfully, thanks for asking," She half-joked. "What's up?"

"You got a gig tomorrow, right?" Allee asked.

"Yeah," Astrid replied. "Why? Anything important?"

"Yep," Allee replied. "I know the zine's coming off a bit slow lately, but we might have something cool here."

"Really?" Astrid asked, somewhat feeling better. Life was getting interesting again. "And I assume you wanna meet at the club after the gig to talk business?"

She could almost hear Allee's simultaneous smile and nod from the other end. "Totally."

"Cool," Astrid said. "I'll stick around after the show. You've got me curious."

"See ya, girl!" Allee exclaimed.

Allee hung up, the dial tone ringing in Astrid's ear as she played with the phone chord for a moment, then placing the phone back to its holder.

After a while, Astrid got hungry. She wanted to stay home and order pizza like she normally did, but decided to go out today. After putting on some worn-out Chucks, she grabbed her purse and walked downstairs and out the lobby, her red TransAm waiting as soon as she walked out the revolving doors.

After starting the ignition, she got out of her spot and drove off.

Before going to eat, Astrid decided to go see the venue she and her band would perform the next night. For someone so unbothered, she was excited.

Her detour led her to this quaint little club down the street from the nearby Chelsea Hotel. It was old, noble, and probably built in the 1900s. But she felt a surge of confidence as she stared. She didn't stop driving as she admired her future venue.

That was a mistake.

As she kept gawking at the building, cars behind her honked incessantly. At first she didn't know why, nor did she care. But when she looked back in front of her, she realized the reason.

A man, just about her age, was crossing the street. Astrid, noticing she was about to run him over, hit the breaks. The man looked up at her, and she got a better view of him; whispy, mysterious brunette hair and sideburns. He had with the face of a model with blue eyes.

At first, Astrid was just stunned by his beauty, but quickly sobered up. She quickly mouthed an "I'm so sorry." The man didn't smile. He simply nodded, then quickly walked away as if he had something to do. Astrid paused for a moment, curiously watching him as he walked. As soon as he faded from eye's view, she continued to drive once more, this time, somewhere to eat.

☆

yes she almost ran over rufus lol