I’m gonna cry

a mirror

a goblin mourns his fallen brethren

When you hear promises you’ve heard many times before…

If you had five billion you could hop from job to job, calling entitled customers idiots all across your city, putting the fear of You into every shithead in town until people become afraid to be rude to servers and cashiers, lest you emerge from the back room like some kind of manners-enforcing specter

Wow ok… drag em

So many people confuse being irresponsible with being fun and having self-control with being boring

Piping hot tea because some of y'all really think it’s cute to be out here casually ruining your health and lives

babies need to shut the fuck up and get a job

Margaret i dnt think they’re open on sundays

i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers

i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently