My Journey

If you have been following my post on social media, you can see that I am finally leaving the nest and going out on my own which is crazy but it’s time.  

I was offered a position in round rock and I took it;  It was honestly a leap of faith; I have been apartment hunting and searching for the right place for a few weeks and I found one and I’m so excited to be signing my first lease! This apartment is a 4 bed room so I have room mates (All Girls) Thank the lord. 

It is a super home like atmosphere, people my age holla! I’ll only be atleast a hour from the honey (once he gets home) and 1.45 min to Satx!  

Today (1-31) once I lowered the gate for the last time here in san antonio I hit me that I am flowing to yet another location but this time its in a city that I'm fairly new  but have always dreamed of moving to, 

I’m Just so blessed to have support from people who mean the world to me!! 

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All I know is that adventures await and I am up for the change!! :) 

I will possibly be back on here to update ya on the move and all that good stuff!

- Stay tuned to more adventures 

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Love is a wonderful thing; yet it is such a strong action with the most meaning;

Love goes above and forgives your past to ensure your future is something worth wild and beautiful in the end

Love happens unexpectedly. that is how it began with my love<3

Things I’ve learned is when somebody loves you is. 

Distance isn't anything, you will make it work for the one you love and when you love somebody you love genuinely and you take affection in the person you call your love, You won't take the other for granted. honestly you take care of that person ; you are there emotionally for them as well ; 

In the words of Meredith from Grey's Anatomy-” I found my person

We are just so perfect for each other he is my best friend and boyfriend in one who knew( well I did but) another thing is when I saw him I knew he was the one I prayed for; honestly after having my heartbroken and never truly loved but used; I prayed that I would find somebody who would love me. care for me,  most importantly who would be attractive and real and wouldn't play games ;oooh I was in luck and oh lord I was blessed! 

-One of many things I love about him is that he knows how to make me smile at the most silliest things as well as how he loves me even through I can be a tad bit extra; as well we wear these amazing bracelets that also unite us while we are apart, when I look at mine I think of him.. 

No matter how hurt you have been you can always love again! its been an amazing adventure with my boyfriend, little adventures we had before his deployment were magical and full of amazing memories. looking forward to  amazing new adventures and memories to come with him... 

June,8,2017 

In this world you’re always in the pursuit of happiness, 

We live in a world of sorrow and pain. we are taught when you fall to shake it off and jump back up, in certain circumstances this is a good approach, others not so much. You don't tell a mother of a stillborn baby that it wasn't his/her time and say shake it off thats rude and disrespectful or a child who lost a parent to sickness to shake it off. We are constantly looking for hope in this sad and filled with despair world. In certain times we rely on our  faith, friends and family for stability... 

Stay positive , when you let positivity influence you , it makes your world a bit more bearable. rather than staying negative... 

I always remember what my mama told me 

“ Don’t fret the small stuff, in the end all of this will just be silly worthless stuff.  -Debbie Garcia 

Stay strong during the good times and the bad, what I’ve learned in life is how we react to things define us, It could either kill you or make you stronger. 

As a person with anxiety, I have to constantly remind myself to stop and enjoy whats around me, we can continue to be miserable or just let it go and let God. 

These are all things we all must work on to reach that place of happiness. 

I’ve been through so much as a person, 

at age 6, I was emotionally abused by a person I thought was a friend

at age 13, found out I was adopted,  My birthmother was raped. But I wasn't going to define me, Even though I'm technically a product of rape i was brought in this world to make a difference 

Faced almost death, Serveal of times while out in miami, it was raining bad , My mom told me she saw the headlight directly on my window she screamed and I reacted and ducked, but something changed that, Serveal min later I remember my mom saying are they okay? are you okay, where are they, she thought that there was going to be a impact but miraculously I didn't have impact, we just saw the car continue to drive down. another instance We were coming home from working at Kix (miamiyfc)  a car in front of us swerved like a top on the highway and it was right in front of us I closed my eyes and the impossible happened, the car was moved out of our way and ended up being pushed to the side of the road. last one was while I was leaving my boyfriends house, it was raining I was exiting and I drove off the road into a ditch I was praying as hard as i could, that I wouldn't die or that the car wouldn't flip. It was a miricle that I made it without any marks or in a hospital or in the morgue...  I know God has something planned for me,  

at age 14-17 My mom was seriously ill, Had ups and downs in her health. 

during that time i was basically my moms home health nurse,I knew all the meds she had to take, her blood type, most importantly her social and all that amazing stuff you have to answer that the hospital(while your in pain), I knew that she was allergic to morphine. i basically lived in a hospital with my mom in TX, after Texas she had a beautiful 4 months with us and passed away in the end of march2014,

at age 18 my mom passed away.. 

So yeah I’ve had it rough but in the end I saw how blessed I was

 Birth 11-24-19995

I was adopted by two amazing loving parents with a heart as big as the sky and wanted the baby to be surrounded by love, How many people say that they have 3 families. 

During the hardimes, I had time with my mom to understand that life is a fragile thing,I learned from her on how to pray and how to love. 

Many of us are searching for that pursuit of happiness, Yes you can cry and let your emotions out, It’s okay to be fragile but when you have people who can lift you up out of the rut that is the most incredible thing!! 

// 3.6.17// 

Birthdays are always a fun occasion, the family comes together to ring in a new year to a persons life, You have family stories, you know the ones you hear every occasion (they usually get longer too). What i remember the most is when my mom would add in her flare and use the birthday song we would sing,, adding we love you we do 3x, and them the big question how old are you 3x. 

Now today is a  pretty rough one, its 2 years celebrating her birthday without her,As I reflect I think about her faith and love of family! Without a doubt that lady was some kind of angel put on this earth to help children and adults better their walk with christ, she walked with humility and confidence. everything she did she did it with love.  I think of all the children and adults she impacted, those in her family and the ones that she embraced as if they were her own, she lived her life as if it was her last, daily she would tell me never go to sleep mad always make up and always tell that person you love them no matter how hard the day was, I thank her for her words of wisdom, teaching me how to cook and clean and do a lot of things that most teenagers never did.. 

I thank God for her life and her legacy she left behind, One thing I learned from grievance class is that their presence never leaves. When I think of mom I think of this passage! 

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

10 [d] An excellent wife who can find?    She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,    and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm,    all the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax,    and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant;    she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night    and provides food for her household    and portions for her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it;    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She dresses herself[e] with strength    and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.    Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff,    and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor    and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[f] 22 She makes bed coverings for herself;    her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates    when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them;    she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,    and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household    and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;    her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women have done excellently,    but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,    and let her works praise her in the gates.

When I look at this verse I see my mom<3

Happy happy birthday love, Enjoy the view and I love you and miss you a ton<3

There has been something heavy on my heart for at-least 6 years and has been troubling me for the past year. It’s name is Adoption ( Might be a jaw-dropper to you all but let me explain) 

Well If majority of you didn't know I’ve had a secret Identity for many years, I didn’t even know myself until the age of 13... I was adopted at birth (shocking I know ... ( I was a product of rape, My birthmother (who I still know, and love as a sister) who will remain nameless, gave me up to two amazing people who I’ve had the pleasure of calling my “my mom and dad from birth till now. 

Now that I no longer have my mother tons of people have been calling my mom, my “adoptive mom” which is totally unacceptable and harsh.  the fact is my mom (Debbie)  will forever and always be my mom, She took care of my birth-giver and me since day one, I just wish people who knew wont just bring it up like it’s a everyday topic I just don’t like being put on the spot as one shall say oh, her adoptive mom or parents ..  The title of adoption makes me feel like i’m no longer in the inner circle I currently call “Family’ which is my safe place. 

makes me feel like a unneeded puzzle piece, or a has been which I know is a lie. This topic is like a gigantic flip-flop. It has a good side and Bad side (between you and me the bad side is the pain and depression.. mostly rejection, 

Then It has its upside, Hope, faith and love , things I learned from my mom and dad. I use my way of life as a testimony to draw others to the amazing power of prayer, you may ask why? if you came from a rape.. well I say My God can use things to his glory. I believed he turned this unspeakable act into a miracle. 

As I reflect and see how my life could’ve been I cry tears and ask what if? 

Things I wouldn’t have known or experienced 

1. My faith in Christ: that my parents have instilled in me growing up, I was a youth pastor/ missionary’s child. I felt the call of reaching out and helping others since I was a little girl working and watching my mother impact the lives of many many children while she was working at Miami Youth For Christ (that was her passion) 

2.. I wouldn’t have most of the things I had growing up. I had an amazing life living in miami ,florida <3 

3, A Father, If I wasn’t “adopted” I most likely wouldn't have known my bio-dad. I have no intentions on meeting him, during my therapy sessions I had to Forgive him since I was filled with hate and confusion on why would you? she was young/ the aguish and hate towards a man I may never know/.

 [God blessed me with a amazing  father who has been there more than my “ fad”. Rudy Garcia is my father he has taught me what i should look for in a man and how one should treat his daughter and wife.... 

3. Family and Friends, I’ve been blessed with the cousin’s who could care-less that Im adopted. which is amazing none of them announce me as “the thing or hang a  Adopted label on me. I have so many amazing moments with my cousins and at times I wish I could go back to the old days when I didn’t know about the “A word” My friends who have listened with arms wide open, who have heard the story yet they never freakout .

4, My education, I was privileged to go to a Private Christian school that I loved, [Fun fact] I served at the church for several years before my departure from florida. Homeschool, Like how many kids could say that,  I was blessed with higher education. it was actually the coolest thing ever.

 I could go on and on but I will stop at those for now 

My parents desired to have a child for many years as they seek’d christ to work amongst them .( I will post a video explaining and how this ties into “God’s plan” but their faith is what led them to me.  My parents used to walk in faith and pray and pray also they would quote this passage , 

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received[a]it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24/

My Birthdate is November 24, 1995 ( 11-24-95) 

with your faith in christ all things are possible <3

My parents were told their specific search for a clean birthmother or somebody innocent was unlikely. until one day they got the phone call that was truly a miracle, the pre-teen was expecting a baby that was adoptable, they met with the worried parents who were only but hard working responsible people.  They accepted the Garcia family who would be adopting their grand-daughter.( Since there were 3 other families waiting on this turkey) I am one blessed girl to know where I came from and where I would like to go... anyway getting back to the story.  my birthmother came to live with my parents and my mom(Debbie) loved her and showed her the compassion of christ by loving on her and showing her that the child in her tummy would be loved tremendously. The vessel I was in for 9 months was a sweet and innocent girl, who didn't really understand or deserve this “secret life” only her immediate family knew of this, as of today nobody else knows. I wonder how such a young girl could go through all of this turmoil. The Delivery Doctors felt moved by the situation and called my birth a miracle , since there was something that could of caused my life to be cut short, As they saw that little girl they felt moved and they waved the typical delivery charge at the hospital in South Florida. 

When I came out my mother Debbie, Cried and Told the girl that she didn't have to do this if she wasn't ready, Yet she told my Mother I’ve been carrying this baby for you. So on November 24, my little life was changed. 

I was born with the Name Vanessa Marie Garcia.. 

My adoption was a open adoption, i’m still very  close with the family. my mom and dad loved on my other half of me, They used to take me to my maternal family every week, I love that family, yet they are only part of me. 

“I want this baby to receive love from all the sides of her family”-Debbie Garcia 

I have two amazing families who love me like I am their own blood. 

The Barnett/ Quinones &Garcia Family  

 Since my mothers death I’ve still been grieving a whole ton, even though Its been 2 years already I still have this hole in my heart that will never fade. 

The Love of a mother who loved me and guided me, also birthed me from her heart!  

I am blessed to still have love and guidance from my Father Rudy Vasquez Garcia, He's been truly the best through all of my life, This new journey for the both of us was pretty hard after leaving miami without our 3rd half... We have been through ups and downs but never has he left. He never threw the towel and said “ your not my daughter or go away” he's a example of how a father should be.. Sometimes we don't see eye to eye but the love of a father will never fade. 

Closing; As I remember 13 year old me learning all this. I felt like the life I once knew was tumbling down,  how I explain it is the rug under my feet was yanked out from under me. There are times I wish i never knew. 

I realize God has me on this earth for a reason, I’ve been through so much stuff in my life. from one thing to another. from Joy to confusion, To life with my mother and now to remembering my mother. Whatever God has for me I know that these seasons were to test me and bring me up! 

I won’t let my past define me. I am blessed and chosen.... 

As I’m typing I am in tears since this is my life..  

-For I know the plans I have for you declares the lord, 

Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you  a future and a hope. 

Jeremiah 29:11

My family <3 

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the lord, plans to give you a hope and a future” That verse by it self speaks to me daily. I know God has a plan for me; Today I was reflecting in my staff meeting on how blessed I am to know the people I know. I am blessed to be able to do a job I’ve been dreaming about since I was at least 5,If its from answering phones, office help or impacting the lives of the next generation . 

On my Daily drives to work I just reflect on the good in my life , no matter how dark It can be at times or how people just want to tear me down, I have Hope and faith in my savior to bring me through. 

It’s been a year since my mom has left this cold and callus world to the arms of her savior, what i learned is during the short time we had she taught me a lifetime of things. Like how to love others even when they mistreat you, another of the amazing things she taught me is To have faith even in the worst times, one last bit (since theres to many for this post) ...  Find the Good in people regardless on how their attitude is..

 Now that my journey is starting, I am just excited and blessed. 

  The future is bringing me so much hope: As they say with time things will get better ; they were spot on with that. What Ive learned on my walk is that even when you feel like hope is lost , God gives you the grace to finish, yes life isn't going to be easy , there will be struggles and hardship,but with Just that hope to grasp onto it makes it less of a struggle.  

Much love 

Hey Guys, Haven't been on for a while it’s been very difficult the past weeks, my feelings and life is being tested around me. Ive been thinking about that verse in the bible that says “but joy comes in the morning” yet I’m still waiting for that morning of joy.  I feel like I'm trapped and alone at times with my feelings. to some people my feelings are getting in the way of my fathers happiness ( or what they think will make him happy) I feel like i have to put my feelings on the side. I feel like mostly nowadays I put a confident smile on just because i feel like my mom wouldn't want me to look down all the time.... 

The 29th It will be a year that she's been in heaven, yet I feel like it just happened yesterday.. Thank you to all of you who have been in my life during this season your continued prayers will be greatly appreciated 

On the plus side: Ive been closer to family members, also I made a new friend her name is Sydney  we get along great and we have many concerts this summer together so SHOUTOUT TO SYDNEY FOR BEING Extremely patient and Awesomeeee! 

Until next time which might be tomorrow 

-love one another and spend time with those who mean the world to you 

-Vanessa Marie Garcia <3 

Well Its been a while since i did a blog post (sorry Craziness galore+ me becoming a working girl ( that is a different post in itself .

Anyway.. So several weeks ago i had the courage to find help for myself... 

I went to my first group counseling session, for the longest of time i felt like I was fine that I didn't need any help ( I was in denial ) . but in fact i needed it..  I know that this is just the beginning  of a very very long road. me and (my dad) must go through this new norm. which sucks entirely but with God and Family its livable. This Thanksgiving We spent it with my moms family. my most favorite part of the trip is leaving the mainstream side of san Antonio and going for that 30/40 min country road drive to Jourdanton . the ride I've been on since i was once a wee lass . (had to throw that in sorry)

Just driving by all the memories we had going back and forth to jourdanton.

( Jourdanton for you who don't know is a very small town that my mother's family grew up in ( Ie, grandma, great grandma , mom's aunts and uncles &some cousins ) 

to get to jourdanton you pass another small but beautiful town called Poteet ,Texas.  This little town was were my mother was born in ( rumor has it she was born in a strawberry patch with her green eyes and red like strawberry hair & Freckles..  she was the true star of that town. (move over George straight) ,,

Anyway continuing on the route to Jourdan ..  Just thinking of all the laughs and memories in the car with mom, when it was christmas time  we would throw on the Christmas music and try to keep our Floridian selves warm we would laugh and sing songs to stay occupied.  Other times we went mom would give us a sermon (lord help us) anyway mostly I slept poor dad haha. 

Well this time was another kinda sad trip because this was the first time since the funeral and gravesite visits. that we had to go alone for the holidays to jourdanton. when we go though the country side it gets my mind off the things that are bothering me. And I  get to breathe a fresh breath of air... 

when we pull up to our gathering spot in Jourdanton and  get out of the car Just to breathe in the smell of the country side (smell of mesquite from the bbq spot *mcbees*and the fresh air mixed together calms me down,  walking to my moms uncles house were we are always greeted with smiles and hugs from our family members makes me forget of all the stuff thats going on.. we laugh, we cry, we heal.  It always feels good to come home..

We are such a strong group of relatives we loss two amazing people in our family with a year separated  who will never be replaced or forgotten. My  My Great Aunt Chepa and My mother Deborah (Lynn) Barnett Garcia  we know that they are resting in peace and one day we will be reunited again ..

* In closing*  

So Jourdan is a place were we all heal. one day at a time. we laid to rest other loved ones in mamas side but the same goes for them all we will see them again one day..

Jourdanton will always be our home away from home / A place to heal .

  Until next time (which will probably be in a few days) 

- Vanessa <3 

Hi everybody, first things first life in san Antonio is good, just miss the florida rain and cuban chicken soup when I'm sick, (they don't have that here) mostly Mexican food and bbq.  

I've been getting that question lately,/ whats next/ do you know what you want to do with your life. My answer is:No, not really,I do have a  passion that's my calling into the mission field.  Ever since I was a little girl holding on to my mothers skirt seeing all she did in her time on the mission field made me feel like my mom was superwoman, for God's team.

To see her legacy reaching the motherless , giving advice and Mostly Showing the love of Christ that once saved her to these kids totally showed me how one person can change somebody's life for the better.  I remember helping her get ready for group its was totally natural.My mom used to say that she felt that I had a calling on my life to the mission field and that one day it will play out. Now looking back on the words my mother told me I see how i'm following the paths that God set up for me. God put me with my mom to show me and she basically trained me ( proverbs 22:6) Now watching God open doors that I've never thought would open have reminded me how Awesome my God is. I pray and I ask God if this what he wants me to do. he shows me in little ways and big ways(yes) . I remember singing a song at my small groups. "sprit lead me where my trust is without borders let me walk upon the waters wherever you have called me" ( Just in that lyric alone you're basically saying Lord take over my life, heres the keys I will Go wherever. I feel like he brought me to Texas to show me things and make me grow even the more in my walk with christ. I feel like he's calling me to do more for him. ( And I heard the voice of the lord saying" Whom shall I send and who will go for us?" then I said,Here I am! send me") Isaiah 6:8) heres how you can help support me on my journey back to miami<3

you can click this link and become a walker/ runner for the Miami Yfc 5k run. If you don't live in miami thats fine too you can be a virtual walker. the kids that I will reach will walk for you.. by virtually walking you get a awesome shirt and a letter of thanks for helping me<3 

May God bless you and your donation to help me reach the youth of miami with the Love of Christ <3

*All funds will go towards my internship https://secure.qgiv.com/hobnob/team/288523  

~Vanessa marie <3 

Sorry I haven't blogged for a while, I got a wonderful getaway trip thanks to my amazing father :) (Thanks Dad)  

Well I embarked a journey of my own. A trip to Cali-for-nia :) Yes thats right. 

by myself. thats right Vanessa marie without a guardian, don't worry i haven't gone crazy,, my stay has been filled with Bonding times with my cousins , Beach days , Car rides, and native foods like In-n out , and burritos, and some shopping   just a little bit , rides down the Pch with the windows rolled down. (so nice) also a Drive to La<3 

I was walking down venice beach watching people with different views and seeing how they want to reach a natural "High" in there lives the smell of weed filled the air while street performer played one love and seeing a guy trade beads for buds. everybody wanted a quick escape from there reality...

sad part is some call that living life, I don't want to waste my  time getting high and drunk. I would rather want to spend my time wisely on this earth helping others and  living my life with adventures to the near and far. and telling my testimony on how God has helped me through this new stage of my life<3.

Last night I celebrated one of my good friends birthday. she has been a blessing in my lfe by far. her and her family :) ( I just wanted to add that in haha....

Tonight is my last night in SoCal and by far its been pretty amazing. hanging out laughing over a family style meal with long distant family members and reconnecting a bond with the loved ones, laughing , cracking up and reminiscing the old times always brings a smile on my face and a warmth to my heart. This will  definatly not be my last time here in California .  _Until then 

~ Vanessa Marie 

I had way too much fun here in California , It has kept my mind off all of my worries. my sadness was turned into joy, I started to laugh more than ever being around my family and friends :) 

( I have been slacking sorry ) here is my first Blog post.

It's been quite a journey. On my way from Miami I was literally holding back all the tears at 6:30 (am) the time that the clock said. Until we hit the " leaving miami dade county" lines I started to cry and It was like a flashback of all the Good-times and how God was so good to me and my family. I had many flashbacks of my mom and all I remember was getting my pillow.

I ended up waking up in the middle of the state. I plopped out my earbuds out of my ears and asked my dad if he was alright. He gave a simple yeah.

While we were driving I thought of the old pioneers , and how they had to journey to this land of the unknown. I guess I was afraid of the mystery of the 'unknown". It dawned on me that God went before us and knows whats ahead and knows why he brought us here but hours and hours of thinking and stressing out. i just started to sing and sing until I got tired. there is this verse that has helped me through  my season and its Matthew 6:34.

New Living Translation "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.,

Its clearly saying .. Vanessa calm down, don't worry about tomorrow because  it hasn't come yet but just worry about finishing today good

This Journey is still rough with bumps but hey everybody's life is. Jesus makes a lot more easier to get through this. 

Please continue to pray for me during this new period of time and for my internship with Youth for christ sometime in spring???