There has been something heavy on my heart for at-least 6 years and has been troubling me for the past year. It’s name is Adoption ( Might be a jaw-dropper to you all but let me explain)
Well If majority of you didn't know I’ve had a secret Identity for many years, I didn’t even know myself until the age of 13... I was adopted at birth (shocking I know ... ( I was a product of rape, My birthmother (who I still know, and love as a sister) who will remain nameless, gave me up to two amazing people who I’ve had the pleasure of calling my “my mom and dad from birth till now.
Now that I no longer have my mother tons of people have been calling my mom, my “adoptive mom” which is totally unacceptable and harsh. the fact is my mom (Debbie) will forever and always be my mom, She took care of my birth-giver and me since day one, I just wish people who knew wont just bring it up like it’s a everyday topic I just don’t like being put on the spot as one shall say oh, her adoptive mom or parents .. The title of adoption makes me feel like i’m no longer in the inner circle I currently call “Family’ which is my safe place.
makes me feel like a unneeded puzzle piece, or a has been which I know is a lie. This topic is like a gigantic flip-flop. It has a good side and Bad side (between you and me the bad side is the pain and depression.. mostly rejection,
Then It has its upside, Hope, faith and love , things I learned from my mom and dad. I use my way of life as a testimony to draw others to the amazing power of prayer, you may ask why? if you came from a rape.. well I say My God can use things to his glory. I believed he turned this unspeakable act into a miracle.
As I reflect and see how my life could’ve been I cry tears and ask what if?
Things I wouldn’t have known or experienced
1. My faith in Christ: that my parents have instilled in me growing up, I was a youth pastor/ missionary’s child. I felt the call of reaching out and helping others since I was a little girl working and watching my mother impact the lives of many many children while she was working at Miami Youth For Christ (that was her passion)
2.. I wouldn’t have most of the things I had growing up. I had an amazing life living in miami ,florida <3
3, A Father, If I wasn’t “adopted” I most likely wouldn't have known my bio-dad. I have no intentions on meeting him, during my therapy sessions I had to Forgive him since I was filled with hate and confusion on why would you? she was young/ the aguish and hate towards a man I may never know/.
[God blessed me with a amazing father who has been there more than my “ fad”. Rudy Garcia is my father he has taught me what i should look for in a man and how one should treat his daughter and wife....
3. Family and Friends, I’ve been blessed with the cousin’s who could care-less that Im adopted. which is amazing none of them announce me as “the thing or hang a Adopted label on me. I have so many amazing moments with my cousins and at times I wish I could go back to the old days when I didn’t know about the “A word” My friends who have listened with arms wide open, who have heard the story yet they never freakout .
4, My education, I was privileged to go to a Private Christian school that I loved, [Fun fact] I served at the church for several years before my departure from florida. Homeschool, Like how many kids could say that, I was blessed with higher education. it was actually the coolest thing ever.
I could go on and on but I will stop at those for now
My parents desired to have a child for many years as they seek’d christ to work amongst them .( I will post a video explaining and how this ties into “God’s plan” but their faith is what led them to me. My parents used to walk in faith and pray and pray also they would quote this passage ,
“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received[a]it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24/
My Birthdate is November 24, 1995 ( 11-24-95)
with your faith in christ all things are possible <3
My parents were told their specific search for a clean birthmother or somebody innocent was unlikely. until one day they got the phone call that was truly a miracle, the pre-teen was expecting a baby that was adoptable, they met with the worried parents who were only but hard working responsible people. They accepted the Garcia family who would be adopting their grand-daughter.( Since there were 3 other families waiting on this turkey) I am one blessed girl to know where I came from and where I would like to go... anyway getting back to the story. my birthmother came to live with my parents and my mom(Debbie) loved her and showed her the compassion of christ by loving on her and showing her that the child in her tummy would be loved tremendously. The vessel I was in for 9 months was a sweet and innocent girl, who didn't really understand or deserve this “secret life” only her immediate family knew of this, as of today nobody else knows. I wonder how such a young girl could go through all of this turmoil. The Delivery Doctors felt moved by the situation and called my birth a miracle , since there was something that could of caused my life to be cut short, As they saw that little girl they felt moved and they waved the typical delivery charge at the hospital in South Florida.
When I came out my mother Debbie, Cried and Told the girl that she didn't have to do this if she wasn't ready, Yet she told my Mother I’ve been carrying this baby for you. So on November 24, my little life was changed.
I was born with the Name Vanessa Marie Garcia..
My adoption was a open adoption, i’m still very close with the family. my mom and dad loved on my other half of me, They used to take me to my maternal family every week, I love that family, yet they are only part of me.
“I want this baby to receive love from all the sides of her family”-Debbie Garcia
I have two amazing families who love me like I am their own blood.
The Barnett/ Quinones &Garcia Family
Since my mothers death I’ve still been grieving a whole ton, even though Its been 2 years already I still have this hole in my heart that will never fade.
The Love of a mother who loved me and guided me, also birthed me from her heart!
I am blessed to still have love and guidance from my Father Rudy Vasquez Garcia, He's been truly the best through all of my life, This new journey for the both of us was pretty hard after leaving miami without our 3rd half... We have been through ups and downs but never has he left. He never threw the towel and said “ your not my daughter or go away” he's a example of how a father should be.. Sometimes we don't see eye to eye but the love of a father will never fade.
Closing; As I remember 13 year old me learning all this. I felt like the life I once knew was tumbling down, how I explain it is the rug under my feet was yanked out from under me. There are times I wish i never knew.
I realize God has me on this earth for a reason, I’ve been through so much stuff in my life. from one thing to another. from Joy to confusion, To life with my mother and now to remembering my mother. Whatever God has for me I know that these seasons were to test me and bring me up!
I won’t let my past define me. I am blessed and chosen....
As I’m typing I am in tears since this is my life..
-For I know the plans I have for you declares the lord,
Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.