#missingmom

I am obsessed. There, I said it. I am obsessed with true crime, especially unsolved cases regarding missing and/or murdered women. Once I get wind of a case, I cannot help but "go down the rabbit hole" to find out all I can about the victim and details of the case. I just can't let it go for some reason. Not sure if this is healthy or not, but it is what it is...

Currently, I am digging into the Amy Hambrick case. Amy disappeared back on Nov. 10, 2017 from Youngstown, Ohio. However, she was not reported missing until Thanksgiving Day (Nov. 23, 2017) by her mother when she realized Amy had not been seen since Nov 10th. (I believe her mother lived in West Virginia at the time and still does today.) The "friend" she was staying with at the time of her disappearance stated Amy planned to visit a friend in North Jackson the day she disappeared. I am not sure if Amy ever made it to that friend's house or not.

I cannot help but wonder why the roommate/friend didn’t report Amy missing sooner? Did she really travel to North Jackson to see a friend that day/evening? Who is this friend? Did she actually make it there? Was she driving? If so, what car and where is it?

It should also be noted that Amy was addicted to heroin at the time of her disappearance. This opens up a whole other can of worms. Was her disappearance related to her addiction?

Recently, I stumbled across a newspaper article about a group of kayakers that found female remains in Trumbull Co. Since the remains appear to be that of a young, small female; I cannot help but wonder if they are Amy's. Amy was only 4′11″ and weighed just 95 pounds at the time of her disappearance. I did reach out to the reporter who wrote the article and he did respond that he "found no record of the body being identified".

https://www.tribtoday.com/news/local-news/2020/07/kayakers-find-remains-in-river-near-steel-plant/

I think I may reach out to someone at the Youngstown PD to find out if the remains could be Amy's. Part of me hopes they are so at least her family can stop looking for her. (I will be honest, I do not think she alive. The reason I feel this way is Amy’s Dad passed away after Amy disappeared and she missed his funeral. I feel if she had been alive, she would have been at his funeral.) She has a daughter and I can't imagine how horrible it would be to not know where you Mom has gone. She is just gone.

Mother’s Day today, May 10th. And I’m not okay. My mom, Fannie June Bentley, was born March 2, 1944. She passed on January 19, 2021. And somehow, the world kept moving like nothing happened. People say time heals, that you get used to the pain. I don’t believe that. Not today. Maybe not ever. Because the truth is, I miss you more now than I did the day you died. This year hurts even…

I lost my mother after thirteen years of not seeing her in person. We were apart physically, but we never lost communication. And somehow, that makes everything hurt even more.

For years, I held onto the thought that even if we couldn’t be together, we could still talk. I could still hear her voice, still feel her presence in some way. It gave me comfort. It made me believe that one day, we would finally see each other again—that all the distance would be worth it in the end.

I never thought that “someday” would suddenly disappear.

When she passed, it didn’t just feel like I lost my mom. It felt like I lost the future I was holding onto—the chance to finally hug her again, to sit beside her, to make up for all the years we were apart. And now, there’s another kind of pain I didn’t expect… the pain of not being there for her final goodbye.

I’m here in the Philippines, while she was laid to rest in Italy. And one of the hardest truths to accept is that I wasn’t there to walk her to her final resting place.

That thought alone breaks me in a way I can’t fully explain.

I keep imagining how it should have been—that I should have been there, standing beside her, saying my final goodbye, seeing her one last time. But instead, I’m here… far away… trying to accept something that feels so incomplete. Parang may kulang. Parang may parte ng proseso ng pagpaalam na hindi ko nagawa.

Ang hirap tanggapin na hanggang dito na lang ako. Na hindi ko man lang siya nahawakan sa huli. Hindi ko man lang siya nasilayan sa huling pagkakataon.

Because we stayed in touch, I remember her so clearly—her voice, her words, the way she cared even from afar. And now, that silence feels heavier. Wala nang tawag. Wala nang message. Wala nang “kumusta kayo diyan?” wala nang “sasi” o “sweetie.” Just memories… and a longing I know will never be fulfilled.

People say time heals, but I don’t think this kind of pain ever truly goes away. I’m not moving on—I’m just learning how to live with it. Some days I can smile, I can function, I can pretend I’m okay. But deep inside, nandun pa rin yung sakit.

I’m not healing… I’m coping.

I carry so many regrets. I wish I had shown her more often how much I appreciated everything she did for me—how deeply I love her. It also breaks my heart that she never got the chance to meet my second child. The last time she saw my eldest, my baby was only four months old.

Mi, thank you for everything—for your love, your sacrifices, and your kindness. I will carry you with me always.

You are now at peace, and though I wasn’t there to say goodbye, you will forever live in my heart.

Rest in peace, Mom. 🤍

Today my mom would have been 83. Today I am beginning to see my mom as a person and not just a mom and I send up a thank you for all she did. #mom #memories #missingmom

All your life, you did what you could always tried to live like you should to build a life, solid and good and now, you earned your rest. Continue reading Your Best

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