guess i'm not infertile after all, and my worst nightmare has now officially happened. i think i knew when my period was late, but i just kept lying to myself. i didn't want it to be true.

worst symptoms imaginable, and i don't even want this. constant nausea, my skin feels like it's on fire, there's a tugging sensation in my upper torso, persistent cramping. all just reminders of what happened.

i can't even get it out of me until i get these blood tests and scans done... and then i have to wait for my GP to send off the referral and hope that it's accepted—i can't afford an abortion otherwise. but what if it's too late by then?

i'm filled with shame. i feel disgusting. it's been a week of knowing, and i'm surprised i haven't offed myself yet.