Jack and Robby were grocery shopping one day. Jack's leg was hurting pretty bad, but he didn't want to deal with crutches.
So they use Jack's handicapped placard and find the closest spot to get in and out as quickly as possible.
Robby steps out first, then, like the gentleman Jack married, he opens Jack's door for him.
Jack, of course, was driving so he hands Robby the keys, grabs the door and Robby's hand and hops out.
"Those are handicap parking only!" A shrill tone rings from a few spots away.
Robby closes the door. They both head toward the store.
Jack cloaes his eyes and prays for strength.
"Sirs!" The shrill voice gets closer.
As a unit, they both turn to find a red-faced woman wearing a bright floral patterned shirt with white capris pants, and her bag hoisted so high on her arm that it might as well be around her neck.
"What?" Robby says, an edge of annoyance in his tone.
She sniffs, looks them both over then tips her head back. Even though she's shorter than both of them it looks like she's looking down her nose.
Whatever she's looking for, she finds lacking.
"Did you notice the handicap sign in the spot you're using."
Jack bristles, but Robby's hand comes up to touch the small of his back. He bites his tongue and keeps his arms limp at his sides.
The womans shrewd gaze tracks the movement, which makes her bag go even higher, and her voice shriller
"Those spaces are reserved to those who are handicapped and are in need of assistance." She purses her mouth until her caked lipstick cracks.
She wiggles her nose in indignation. "You're parked illegally. If you don't move your car for those who are handicapped to park there, I'll have to inform the store. They'll most likely have your vehicle towed."
Robby looks at Jack, then the truck, then the squeaking woman.
"He is handicapped. Thats why we parked there. We have a placard and registered plates as well as vetern tags. Thank you for your due diligence but you can fuck off now."
She gasps, literally clutching her pearls as Robby turns them both around.
"Stop." She grabs Jack's arm, yanking him back hard enough he stumbles.
It's nothing. He's used to being on his feet, has been yanked and pulled enough working in the ED that really he didn't even lose his footing.
Except this woman is a bitch and needs to mind her own business. Jack purposely loses his balance. Lets his body drop so that he falls into her and topples her over.
To add icing to his petty cake he makes sure to bend his right knee which rocks the prosthetic out of place.
It doesn't come off, but it certainly distrupts the careful way his pants are tucked around it and slips his show half off.
Robby dropped to his knees the moment Jack landed already trying to sit him up.
"Jack, are you okay? Whats hurt?"
Jack holds up a hand, "I'm okay. My leg snagged when she yanked me."
"I didn't yank you!" The lady hisses pulling herself to her knees, "I touched your arm and you reacted violently. I should call the police! Assault and fraud for parking in a-" her eyes fall to his leg.
Robby slipped the shoe off so he can resituate it. Fixing the laces, his smirk tucked into his beard.
Jack rolls his eyes, "Whatever you say, lady. You're the one assaulting a disabled veteran."
The lady's eyes are so wide he'd be concerned if it wasnβt hilarious.
"I- I'm- I'm so β you look so normal. I didn't β"
"Come on, sweetheart." Robby tucks his pant leg around his prothesis then helps Jack up.
Jack gets one last glorious look of the red-faced, gobsmacked harpy before he wiggles his fingers at her, and they walk away.
theartofmadeline
areudirty
blakekathryn
