just me

There's nobody whose on the top 24/7. The people who you think have it all together have failed so much in the past that they've now grown so much because of it, ask them! Genuinely, you will be amazed to hear people you look up to admit to what they failed, it may surprise you and allow yourself a little space to hold that room of failure for yourself too. Because clearly it doesn't affect how much you can love someone else, so why would it affect how much you love yourself?

hating yourself because of the past won’t actually change it, so maybe forgiving yourself because now you know better is better than torturing yourself over it again and again. at a certain point, you have to accept what happened and your regrets about it and move on and take whatever lessons you’ve learnt with you, since every mistake has something to teach us. being cruel towards yourself doesn’t make the situation any better and it will only hurt you more and more. forgive yourself for not knowing better and forgive yourself for torturing yourself by ruminating on your regrets over and over again.

I promise you, do the 'stupid' thing. There is nothing your reputation won't be able to survive from. Even if you're afraid you might look desperate, uncool, dumb, whatever the fuck all those people may say. There is nothing your reputation will not survive from aslong as you act with integrity. A person who stands tall, who does not reject themselves their humanity of just being human. I promise you that once people realize you truly and genuinely are not playing games and are as genuine as you are, they will ease up to you. If I don't want to do something I'll say no, if I do want something I'll say it, if I feel like smiling I'll smile. If I can't muster a smile I won't. I do not live this life to play a role.