Little Sociopath Fangirl

Bucky and Natasha know different men named Steve Rogers. They’re the same person, of course, but they’re very different.

Bucky knows Stevie, a fiery artist with too much heart and not enough muscle to back it up, though he also knows Cap, a man’s who’s still figuring out what to do know that he has the strength he needs to help people.

Natasha knows Rogers, tactician and warrior who told her to kick a man off a roof, though she also knows Steve, a funny but serious fighter with a heart too kind for the battlefield.

Steve and Natasha know different men named Bucky Barnes. They’re the same person, of course, but they’re very different.

Steve knows Buck, a charming nerd full of loyalty with the strength to protect the people he loves, though he also knows Bucky, a haunted man on the road to recovery who could kill you with a finger.

Natasha knows the Winter Soldier, a brainwashed killer with a heart of ice, though she also knows James, a tragic romantic who only wanted her and his memories back.

Bucky and Steve know different women named Natasha Romanoff. They’re the same person, of course, but they’re very different.

Bucky knows the Black Widow, a seductive patriot and ballet-dancer assassin, though he also knows Natalia, a beautiful and brilliant woman with a longing for freedom.

Steve knows Romanoff, a calculating spy with a dangerous past and a knack for threats, though he also knows Nat, a sarcastic genius working on writing her own redemption arc.

“there’s a legend about that clock.

for a second, when it chimes,

(Later)

But the soul, the spirit that made her Livvy was no longer there: It was something that had gone away to a far and untouchable place, even as Julian ran his hands over her hair again and again and begged her to wake up and look at him just one more time. High above the Council Hall, the golden clock began to chime the hour.

Castiel’s family was special. 

They were all born with the ability to change their shape. On their fifteenth birthday, they shifted into their animal form for the first time. Each of them had a different animal - Raphael could become a great dane, Lucifer an eagle, Michael a stallion, Anna a lynx. With his older siblings with such majestic animal forms, there were a lot of expectations on Castiel’s to be similar. Perhaps a bear or a fox or maybe a lion.

On Castiel’s birthday, he was nervous. Excited for sure, but there was an undercurrent of nerves that wouldn’t let him sit still. Years of hopes and dreams all came down to the moment the clock struck midnight. The whole family was gathered outside, the yard lit only by the moon and the stars. 

… And then he turned into a duck.

A duck.

Most of his family was diplomatic in their reactions. 

“There’s nothing wrong with ducks,” Michael said, only somewhat smug. “They can blend in easily anywhere. I can’t change without lots of land around to run. No one expects a stallion in the middle of the city.”

“You’ll get to learn how to fly,” Anna pointed out. That was admittedly a small piece of comfort, but he could see how Lucifer and Raphael struggled not to laugh or smile condescendingly at him.

It didn’t help that his twin Jimmy could turn into a venomous snake. Jimmy wasn’t at all a jerk about it, but it didn’t help Castiel’s self-esteem to see he was the least intimidating animal of all his siblings.

They didn’t talk about it much. Castiel was embarrassed, but he was committed to being able to change effectively. He went out to the park, away from his family, and practiced transforming in the cover of the woods. Then he’d practice flying over the park and swimming in the lake. 

After a while, Castiel could admit to himself that he likes his duck form. It wasn’t as impressive as being able to turn into something dangerous or big, but he could fly and he could go wherever he wanted. No one gave a duck a second glance, and it allowed him to spend more time in animal form than any of his siblings. 

Years later, he found another reason to appreciate it.

He met Dean at college, but he was far too shy to say anything to him in their shared math class. Dean was so attractive and put together and smart… all things that Castiel wasn’t, and Castiel didn’t bother trying to approach him.

But it also turned out Dean liked to hang out at the park. He had a favorite bench by the lake where he liked to sit and read. Castiel the human might be shy and timid, but Castiel the duck could go anywhere he wanted. So he often went to the park on days he knew Dean would be more likely to show up. He often swam close to the shore and watched Dean, saw what books he read and was surprised to see how much their tastes lined up.

Dean even noticed his feathered companion. After a few weeks, he started bringing bread to feed to Castiel. Castiel let himself be lured onto the shore with bread crumbs and eventually got comfortable enough that he’d sit on the bench next to Dean.

And Dean? Dean would talk to him. Tell him about how he missed being home and hanging out with his brother (”But don’t tell him that. I’ve got a reputation as an annoying older brother to maintain.”). Or about how he wasn’t getting along with his roommate (”Roman is such a dick. Too bad whenever I call him that, he just thinks it’s because his name’s Richard. I can’t wait to get a new roommate next year.”).

Or, one day, about the cute boy he liked in one of his classes (”He’s so damn cute, man. Adorable. And smart and I… I am too chickenshit to ask him out. Think you’d be able to play wingman for me? … I did not mean to make a pun, but I’m actually kinda proud of that one, so let’s say I did it on purpose, okay?”).

Castiel was glad for his duck form, because he was too disappointed to be able to hide his sadness if he were human. 

Dean liked someone in his math class. Castiel was in his math class, which meant sooner or later he’d have to deal with Dean coming to class with this mystery boy, flaunting his happiness. Not that Castiel didn’t want Dean to be happy, but for his own sake he hoped he’d be able to ignore it.

After that, he visited Dean at the park less often. Stayed farther away and certainly never came on shore no matter how much Dean tried to bribe him with bread.

The last week of the semester, Castiel tried not to think about Dean. He had finals to worry about, not pretty green eyes and plush pink lips and endless freckles. Which is partly why he’s blindsided by Dean stopping him from leaving the lecture hall after class one day.

“Hi,” Dean said.

“Hello Dean.”

“You know my name?” Dean beamed at him, and Castiel wondered if he was supposed to know that. Dean didn’t seem to question it, though, and just kept going. “So like… I know we haven’t talked much or like… at all… this semester, but I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out for coffee or dinner or a movie sometime.”

“… You like me?” Castiel asked in awe. But Dean said he liked a cute, smart boy from his math class. That was him?

“Uh… yes?” Dean said, clearly confused. “If you’re not interested, sorry to bug you-”

“I’m interested!” Castiel took a moment to collect himself. “I’m interested,” he repeated more calmly. “How about we go for coffee right now. I know a place.”

“Awesome.”

And of course when Castiel finally revealed to Dean that he could change into a duck, Dean was instantly suspicious. As soon as he saw Castiel’s duck form, he recognized it. The color drained from his face and he groaned. “Fuck… this is probably the most embarrassing thing ever… Wait, I told duck-you that I liked you, why didn’t you ask me out first?”

“I thought you were talking about something else.”

“… Damn. We’re a couple of oblivious idiots, aren’t we?”

“Apparently.”

“Guess that’s why we work so well together,” Dean teased as he pulled his boyfriend in for a kiss.

Dean just g-g-getting by bi (x)