STAND UNSHAKEN

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

much like a beautiful horse i like salt and roaming freely

Forgot to close a parenthesis and now spirits enter me like a waterslide

hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*

beer before beer that's ✌️two beers

Fuuuuck dude I got drunk last night and tried to take down the villain on my own and now he’s texting me some ‘I’m the only one allowed to defeat you’ shit bro what do I do

Man he just yelled ‘I want him alive’ to his goons, it’s so over.

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit