Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

adulthood be like: *washes dishes* *puts away dishes* *washes dishes* *puts away dishes* *washes dishes* *puts away dishes* *washes dishes* *puts away dishes* *wash

my dad always tells me that when he’s with people bragging about their kids’ accomplishments and such he goes “yeah but are they like ....cool?” and the parents always give him a confused look and he goes “are they cool? my kids are so cool. i love hanging out with them.” and it always throws people off and i think that’s so funny and sweet like i may be a fucking idiot with just about zero accomplishments but at least my dad thinks i’m cool

men like the joker because clown recognizes clown, all part of the same clown fraternity honk sigma pi

women just get it. and men don’t. won’t elaborate

My kink is someone pronouncing my name right.

and spelling it

me to my future daughter: ur beautiful and cute bc u look like me

men really be talking to me and think im listening

hold on. you want me, a MAN, to buy this body wash which doesn’t have the word “SPORT” in the name and it doesn’t say FOR MEN anywhere? nice try, pal

becoming older than 10 years old was the biggest mistake of my life

guys you weren’t ugly 10 years ago you were just literal children

everyone in the notes asserting that children can be ugly, i know u think you’re being cute but you’re really not. like what the fuck is wrong with you? it’s nothing short of heinous to assign (often sexualized, always bigoted) standards of beauty to fucking kids, especially young girls, who should be focused on literally growing up. i’m not laughing

Also hot take but teenagers aren’t supposed to be “beautiful”. That’s when you’re developing and getting acne and your voice is cracking and shit. The fact that we think teenagers are supposed to be pretty is a product of pedophilia and toxic instagram/makeup culture. You’re supposed to look kinda like an awkward second-evolution-stage pokemon at that point, and we never should have put so much pressure on teenagers.

i remember being like 11 and asking my dad why he hunts and kills deer and he said “because i think theyre beautiful” and that’s just. that’s just what men are like

Is killing different than endearing physical contact? Local man unsure

god grant me the serenity to do it to em

and the courage to accept that i had to