local cryptic - Charlie - adult - he/they - multifandom mess - extreme multishipper - I can guarantee this blog is not 100% sfw - (used to be @wigglywiggles @halfwaytoqueens)
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I like to think that AO3 and fanfiction are a bastion against dead internet theory. Sure, there's the AI and the bots, but at its heart fandom is still a community of passionate people going "LOOK AT WHAT I MADE" and having people go "THAT'S SO COOL" right back.
So yeah. You wanna beat the bots? Make things. Comment. The internet's not dead as long as you're still here making noise.
I just saw an acquaintance use "👖🛝" in place of the word genocide and. like. at what point are we going to decide that this kind of self-censorship is too degrading to abide anymore.
I'm tired of seeing people excuse algospeak because "corporations are making us do it." Why are we all letting them do that. The Internet is real life. Get mad about it.
they don't really use pet names when they're around other people but their teammates learn very quickly that there is ilya (positive) and ilya (negative) and rozanov (fuck yeah that was fucking gorgeous) and rozanov (if you do not shut the fuck up immediately i swear to fucking good) and shane (adoring) and shane (sad) and hollander (that's how you fucking do it baby!) and hollander (sit your fucking ass down or we will have a problem) and these distinctions are way more important to keep track of than the five times a month hollander calls cap "baby" and cap's face goes all sappy
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at the cottage shane comes up to Ilya so much with some sort of bug or critter in his closed fist that ilya is constantly on alert when shane comes near him with a closed hand. he’s like “shane what do you have do you have a bug get away from me shane shane!!!” and shane is laughing and coming closer holding his closed hand out like “babe its fine just look.” and ilya is like “shane i am so fucking serious right now.” and shane is trying not to double over in laughter because he literally has nothing in his hand.
"'We could only have one child,'' David said quietly. "We thought about adopting, but we decided in the end to just focus on making Shane the best person we could. I think we did an okay job of it.
Ilya smiled at the understatement.
"We couldn't be prouder of the man he's become,' David continued. "I don't have any Stanley Cup rings, but I have Shane.''
Chapter 39, The Long Game
....
It's Christmas of 1988.
There's one more present under the tree, and Yuna's eyes are dancing as she hands it to David. He opens it to find the tiniest pair of shoes he's ever seen.
"No. Really?" He's dizzy.
"Really," Yuna grins, and her eyes are shining with tears, and David loves that face more than anything. He hopes their baby looks just like her.
.....
It's a bitterly cold day in February of 1989 when David puts the shoes away. He pushes down all the anger of it's not fair, why us, why our baby. Yuna needs him.
The doctor had said you're young, you can try again.
.....
In the spring of 1990 the flowers are blooming to life and Yuna's belly is starting to look rounder. David looks around the empty bedroom in their Ottawa house and thinks green might be nice, something that works for a boy or a girl, a nice cheerful shade. Next week he'll buy the paint.
The call from the hospital comes before he gets the chance. When he looks at the doctor's scrubs he thinks green is the ugliest colour on earth.
.....
They don't talk about it. Not when the leaves are changing colour and the nurse offers them congratulations. Not at Christmas or New Year's as they turn the calendar over to 1991. It's Valentines Day before David gets the courage to touch the rounded swell of his wife's body and he cries when whoever is inside touches him back. It doesn't matter that they don't have a name or a face yet, he loves them so much it hurts.
.....
On a Friday morning in May, David holds his son for the first time. His face is scrunched and blotchy red and angry. He's the most perfect thing anyone has ever laid eyes on.
He watches Yuna sing and rock him near the nursery window at home, her face glowing. He thinks the yellow paint was definitely the right choice for their sunshine, their only sunshine.
.....
Shane is a chubby baby (they laugh themselves sick when the baby shoes don't even fit on his fat little biscuit feet) but by the time he turns two he has leaned out into a little boy, they think maybe they are ready to try again. David imagines a girl this time, introducing Shane to his baby sister. Melissa sounds pretty. The baby name book had said it meant honeybee and doesn't that just fit perfectly amidst sunshine and flowers and springtime?
.....
It never happens.
Shane is an only child at four and five and six and he's becoming something special on the ice, all the coaches say so. David thinks that they have no idea what they're talking about when they say that because Shane Hollander has always been special from the time he kicked and rolled inside his mother, before he ever knew what cold was.
If he's all they get, they will make sure he knows he is everything.
.....
Sometimes David wants to take Shane by the shoulders and apologize to him for making him think he has to be everything. You don't have to try so hard to be perfect for us, he wants to say. You're perfect to us because you're you, you're ours, don't you know how we prayed and hoped and waited just for you to exist, don't you know that's enough?
Much, much later as he waves to him (to them) in late evening sunshine, he sees Shane relax behind the windshield with a loving hand on the back of his neck. David feels something inside of him loosen.
.....
On Shane’s wedding day, David embraces both his sons and dances with his wife and my god, if this is all he ever gets in life, no man has ever been so lucky.
.....
"Are you ready?" Shane is smiling and his eyes are shiny. Ilya looks much the same.
David is dizzy. But he nods and holds his hands out. Shane places the baby in his arms and oh, she's so tiny. He forgot how tiny they start out.
Her little knit hat is yellow.
"Hey there, honeybee," he murmurs, and his voice is foggy with unshed tears. "I'm your grandpa."
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thank u. i hate it a little less but the horrible little man in my head is still screaming “BOG BODY BOG BODY BOG BODY”, but i appreciate the education,
oh here is a fun lil perspective on cranberry harvesting i never heard about anywhere else. the guy who owns the restaurant right down the road from the farm, who fries our chickens sometimes, is from Boston, with the strongest Boston accent ever, and in a former life before he started slinging reasonably priced barbeque and occasional organic chicken, he was a cranberry farmer.
His farm was on the leading edge of kinda using organic/sustainable pest control methods, and one of the things that they did to keep insect damage down was that they encouraged wolf spiders to live in the cranberry field, to eat the bugs.
This was all fine and good until they flooded the bog. Now, you don’t just like flood the bog and then go around it in a boat or whatever. No, you use hip waders to get in there and put the big floaty things where they go and get all the berries and such.
Well when you’re in the bog in hip waders, that makes you the tallest thing. Wolf spiders can swim a bit, but they don’t like it, so they’re, quite understandably, looking to climb out of the water onto a tall thing.
So yeah the first interview question he always asked potential cranberry bog harvester hires was “are you cool with spiders?”
“You’d be amazed,” he said to us, shaking his head a little, “how many guys would just straight lie. Like, you think I’m asking you that question to be cute? Nah man you’re gonna have like a hundred wolf spiders trying to climb your eyebrows, you gotta be chill, those wolf spiders are fellow employees. You really gotta be chill with spiders if you’re gonna work a cranberry harvest.”
it actually makes me so sad and angry when people deny their fave blorbo could possibly be a sadist like whats wrong with sadism did sadism do something problematic
woodsgotweird said: man i just jumped on the bandwagon because i am a sheep. i have no idea where it came from and i ask myself this question all the time
Maybe someone made a typo and it just got out of hand?
I kinda feel like panic!at the disco started the whole exclamation point thing and then it caught on around the internet, but maybe they got it from somewhere else, IDK.
It’s a way of referring to particular variations of (usually) a character — dark!Will, junkie!Sherlock, et cetera. I have suspected for a while that it originated from some archive system that didn’t accommodate spaces in its tags, so to make common interpretations/versions of the characters searchable, people started jamming the words together with an infix.
(Lately I’ve seen people use the ! notation when the suffix isn’t the full name, but is actually the second part of a common fandom portmanteau. This bothers me a lot but it happens, so it’s worth being aware of.)
“Bang paths” (! is called a “bang"when not used for emphasis) were the first addressing scheme for email, before modern automatic routing was set up. If you wanted to write a mail to the Steve here in Engineering, you just wrote “Steve” in the to: field and the computer sent it to the local account named Steve. But if it was Steve over in the physics department you wrote it to phys!Steve; the computer sent it to the “phys” computer, which sent it in turn to the Steve account. To get Steve in the Art department over at NYU, you wrote NYU!art!Steve- your computer sends it to the NYU gateway computer sends it to the “art” computer sends it to the Steve account. Etc. (“Bang"s were just chosen because they were on the keyboard, not too visually noisy, and not used for a huge lot already).
It became pretty standard jargon, as I understand, to disambiguate when writing to other humans. First phys!Steve vs the Steve right next to you, just like you were taking to the machine, then getting looser (as jargon does) to reference, say, bearded!Steve vs bald!Steve.
So I’m guessing alternate character version tags probably came from that.
100% born of bang paths. fandom has be floating around on the internet for six seconds longer than there has been an internet so early users just used the jargon associated with the medium and since it’s a handy shorthand, we keep it.
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people who definitely know that Hollander and/or Rozanov have A Thing With A Man (of variably certain identity):
various dentists
hotel housekeeping staff
the kid who works late shifts at the drugstore where Ilya buys condoms (often) and lube (less often)
cleaners and laundry service employees
a kid on vacation with his parents in Vegas bored out of his mind because he's 14 and not allowed in the bars or casinos at their hotel and he's really hitting the grumpy teenager phase so he's pissed at his parents because he wanted to go birdwatching in the desert and instead he's on the hotel roof at night pointing his sick-ass binoculars (which he bought himself with money he earned by mowing their neighbours' lawns for a year) at the surrounding buildings and oh look there's two people making out on that rooftop terrace—wait, isn't that the guy from the Rolex ads?
Janice at the grocery store closest to the Hollander cottages who knows damn well that "David's boy" doesn't eat Nutella
the Voyageurs' nutritionist knows Hollander is fucking someone working for the Bears because he might not log it as sex but even Hollander doesn't actually do extra cardio after a game
employee at an airport phone repair kiosk in Chicago who was checking Ilya’s battery specs when "Jane" texted him "If I win you suck my dick first"
one of the parents at Game Changers Hockey Camp who is a couple's counsellor and a bit too good at her job
Gerry (78) three doors down from the Hollanders who has lived in his house since he was born and has made it his solemn duty to know everything that goes on in his neighbourhood
the owner of the bespoke jeweller's shop once Shane Hollander purchases the second ring, which is identical to the first, and a plain gold chain
the apprentice of the bespoke jeweller's shop a week before that when he recognises the ring he watched his boss make for Shane Hollander sitting on Ilya Rozanov's bare chest in a post-game interview on TV
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