Reading hitchikers guide for the first time was really funny because it was like ohhhh THIS the writing that every unfunny nerd has been trying to emulate from like ‘00-‘12 . But good.

planning a trip to europe from a city with practically no transport is crazy. i open up a map of the munich metro system and staring back at me is a biblically accurate angel if it were a map of a metro system

favorite part of the human experience is when you have a wonderful night out with people you know you will never be with again in the same way and you're so full of love because it's all so temporary and fleeting

you can tell i'm feeling down rn because i'm not even excited for 9/11 this year. it's like all of the magic has gone out of the holiday

what we really need this year to bring the magic back is a good old-fashioned 9/11 miracle

GOD BLESS US, EVERY ONE. AND TINY TIM

my dumb? founded. my flabbers? gasted. my gob??? smacked

my ass???? tonished

I just realized it's literally just the fucking humors again. We've arrived back at the starting line.

Long ago the four humours lived in harmony

hey girl awesome pussy. it looks like it was expensive

Joe Goldberg getting hailed as a feminist for carrying his wife's handbag while she's being photographed is peak comedy actually