im educated but like…im still stupit

Moaning is one thing that men can do right and they refuse to do it… selfish

be so completely yourself that everyone else feels safe to be themselves too

catch me in target lusting after kitchenware like a 45 year old mother of three

id love for someone to please explain to me how i ended up terrified of any kind of intimacy while craving it constantly all at the same time

Applying to universities is asking them if you can pay them money, and sometimes they say no.

But you still have to pay them to ask

People act as if hating someone is like something that requires energy all the time like no I don’t think about the people I hate until they are brought up and then I’ll be like mid drag of a cigarette like “fuck that hoe”

shout out to phones for pausing music when u unplug headphones bc im really not out here to blast waterloo by abba to a train full of people

in this house we do grandma activities

only sexy bitches sit on kitchen counters that’s the law

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

nick taking a candlelit bath with only the glow of some candles and the neon enjoy sign is a big fuckin’ mood

the only beings on earth im interested in appeasing are cats, i’ll fucking humiliate myself to the utmost degree so that a cat will like me,  i will be the biggest clown around just to get a cat’s attention. i refuse to give this preferential treatment to any other lifeforms.

dorian hid that painting but I bet y'all if he’d just hung it in his living room and been like “oh yeah I get someone to come in and paint it to be slightly more gruesome every night” and everybody woulda been like “I believe you you dramatic bitch”