weed is tight

When will the UK learn that they are puny little ants in which to be crushed???

where’s that post where the british person was like “oh yeah i only get to see my dad 2-3 times a year because he lives so far away :/” and a person asked “oh no how far away is he?” and the british person said “75 minutes”

me: thinks abt c*ddling for 2 minutes me @ myself: shut the hell up u aren’t in a John green novel. grow up and move on.

some customers: oh my god i’m so sorry i have to ask you a question i feel so foolish for not knowing this already please help me but i’m so sorry forgive me other customers: answer this question before i’ve even asked it or i’ll kill you where you stand 

yesterday my roommate got mad at me because i saw him eating kit-kats and said “oh, so you’re a little kit-kat boy, are you?” and then i had a dream about him killing me

my favorite part in volume three of throam is when spencer , brendon and ryan are playing poker and brendon wanted ryan’s jacket and ryan said it wouldn’t fit and spencer is just like “yep you’re gay” i think about that daily thank u

JUST ordered door dash for the first time and i’m nervous !

i don’t think it’s coming 

me in the group chat: