Urge to Ease Writings

Sky is cloudy

It’s so cloudy that I can't see the sky

It's like a giant smoke

The smoke that makes hard to breath

The smoke that makes the sky invisible

The smoke that block out the sun rays

Still sun is shining

Sun is gonna wait till it clears

Because sun knows it's worth

My heart still calls your name

I tried to forget you

Like a million of time

But still you come into my mind

To show me the path

To make me comfortably aware

That I am alone

She sparks like a stary night

She smiles like a cherry blossom

Like the way, sew is sewing onto the cloth

Rainfall is falling

Like the way, someone falls down from a mountain

Lava is exploding

Like the way, heart rates goes suddenly up

Trees are cracking

Like the way, people breakdown

Thunder is thundering

Like the way, you and me scream in slience

Rain is raining

Maturity?  Experience? Life?

And rest of the life,

Every time, it rains

You try to escape

Bacause you don’t like the rain

You feel It's not for you

But deep down there is a sound

Which still claims

That rain can heal you

But in the past when you tried to enjoy the rain

It makes you sick

When we start reading a book

There are some pages, where we read to learn

Some pages, we want to rush read

Some pages, we just want to skip

And some of them, we stuck at a page

Exactly like the life

Where some days, we just search the meaning

Some days, we just want to end asap

Some days, we want to escape

And some of the days, we just keep repeating in our heads

Not all the people blessed with heath

What not okey is,

To be in the same damn life

We are alone

We came alone

We will die alone

We seek validation

We don’t want to be alone

We need love

We ask help

We cry alone

We break alone

We try to cope with live alone

People show care but it doesn’t last long

They show care but it doesn’t last long

In the end, we have to live alone

No one gonna save us but ourselves

Try to walk alone

Try to live alone

Try to cope alone

The fact about the kite is

It takes effort to rise and fly

It falls down

It spins

But end of the it rise up

Again, it falls down, spins and rise

Exactly like our life,

There is ruminating thoughts, depression, failure,

We broke then again, we rise one more time

The pain once we afraid to feel

Now, we can feel it with 100x times more

We break, we cry

But nothing can be changed

It is increased

And it will increase

Just, we have to put down that vulnerable act

Talking with you

Makes me feel comfortable

Talking with you

Reminds me, there is still hope

Talking with you

Sees the version of my past

Talking with you

Makes me think, Am I the wrong one?

Talking with you

Makes me lash out

Talking with you

But heart's deepest craves

Can't quenchable

Try to escape

Try to be busy

Try to refocus

But nothing works

One time we feel like why even we are existing

Othertime it literally make you suffocated

Time is ticking but not this feeling

Is getting unbearable with time

Everything seems so important that we don’t know where to start

Even if we know where to start,

We lost in our own thoughts

Something like, am I on the right on?

Breaking down day by day

The me inside of me,

Physically, mentally tired

The me inside of me,

Lost the hope

The me inside of me,

Want to fade away

The me inside of me,

Can't take any further mistakes

The me inside of me,

Lost me

The me inside of me,

I could show, how vulnerable am I

I wish

I could tell the world what I feel from inside

I wish

I could express every little thought

I wish

I could show the weaker me

I wish

I could express those broken pieces that still hurts me