the cia has beef with me

when i actually started doing research i realised more and more just how Me avpd is. it described everything i was feeling and my struggles with living. what helped me realise that the most was the chapter on avoidant personality disorder in theodore millons (My Goats) book personality disorders in modern life. while my circumstances are vastly different from allisons and seans, the patients used as examples in the avpd chapter, i never felt more seen in my life 😭ERMMM i dont want to overshare too much but the link to the book on the internet archive is here

you can also read the chapters for dpd and ocpd, me personally i do not relate all that much to dpd/ocpd but there was a point where i was questioning if i was schizotypal or paranoid pd, reading both chapters on those helped me understand myself a lot better and realize im not and my symptoms just stem from my history of psychosis and crazy Truck Freak esoteric upbringing 😄 OVERALL it is extremely hard to i guess. find yourself out ? and even now i still dont know whats truly wrong with me just because of how massive the overlap of my symptoms is with all kinds of disorders 😭😭 what helps me through it all is being able to recognize my avpd though..... i am extremely grateful for my diagnosis and its what has helped me be able to recognize my problems and slowly start healing

Urrrr and classic response obviously try to seek out a professionals opinion if you are able to. obviously Wayyyyy easier said than done, ESPECIALLY for pds and even more so if youre a minor. i was diagnosed at 16 which is ????extremely unusual as pds are usually diagnosed only after adulthood. if you seek out multiple professionals just know it is Very likely they will all tell you different things. i have been diagnosed with like 500 billion things but only a few of them stuck as every professionals opinions varies .example my current therapist does not believe i have fully developed avpd but that its untreated cptsd, but regardless of that shes okay with me identifying with avpd AND cptsd more. i feel like (c)ptsd is lowkey included in every pd its like a combo meal but maybe thats just me Ok SORRY OFF TOPIC