𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑘

                             “ you are shaking fists & trembling teeth. I know: you did                                not mean to be cruel. that does not mean you were kind ”

(   *  💀  /  froy gutierrez, cis man, he/him )  —  is that evan rosier i just saw rushing down the corridor? i hear they’re a twenty-one year old slytherin, returning for their seventh school year, but their friends would tell you that they are adaptable & intuitive as well as dissatisfied & repressed. if you want to know more about them, i guess i could tell you that they’re pureblood, and from what i hear, they’re currently allying with the the neutrals. when our divination professor looks into their crystal ball, they see: welcoming the first bite of frost on un-gloved fingers; handwritten entries in heavy journals burned once the page is full; a cool mist rolling in off the sea (there are things you’d rather be obscured); messy hair, from the rush of wind and bored fingers both; the clenched-fist, broken-glass feeling that this can’t be all there is.  —  ( zoe, she/her, 23, cst  )

CONTENT WARNINGS:   parental death, parental manipulation + a generally bad relationship with a parent, punching things as a form of self harm; mental illness isn’t explicitly mentioned but evan definitely has some very unhealthy coping mechanisms.  ADDITIONAL MATERIALS:   evan’s playlist,  connections,  stats page,  &  pinterest board  

𝒆𝒗𝒂𝒏 𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒆𝒓     —      moodboard 002

perhaps   better   than   anyone,   evan   had   a   front   row   seat   into   the   trials   and   tribulations   of   vivian   greengrass.   her   stubbornness   in   her   refusal   to   talk   and   her   honesty   when   she   eventually   did   was   a   ticket   worth   a   gringotts   vault   of   galleons.   while   her   honesty   remained   as   pertinent   as   ever,   the   stubbornness   toward   her   cousin   faded   within   a   handful   of   apologies.   she’d   attempt   to   put   up   more   of   a   fight,   one   worthy   of   her   name.   but   she   was   tired,   so   beyond   tired.   the   weeks   had   dragged   endlessly   and   the   flawless   year   that   she   had   promised   herself   was   slowly   turning   into   a   shakespearean   tragedy.   “   always   time   for   you,   cousin.   ”   she   placed   a   surprisingly   intricate   pausing   charm   over   her   cauldron,   her   work   kept   securely   in   place   so   she   could   gather   her   complex   web   of   thoughts   and   communicate   them   in   an   accessible   way.   vivian’s   social   isolation   was   always   one   of   choice.   choosing   to   distance   herself   kept   her   sanity   intact.   she’d   been   afforded   that   luxury   through   her   mystery,   those   always   wanting   whatever   piece   of   the   greengrass   pie   that   she   offered.   her   presence   and   acquaintanceship   used   to   be   one   revered,   now   she   could   feel   people   avoiding   her   in   the   halls.   “   how   are   you   finding   playing   neutral   ?   ”   she   questioned,   settling   her   braids   behind   her   as   she   relaxed   her   face   into   her   crossed   arms   upon   the   worktop.   “   i’ve   been   forced   into   the   role   of   the   outcast.   ”   it   had   only   occurred   to   vivian   as   recent   as   the   previous   evening   that   she   enjoyed   her   self   inflicted   mystery   because   she   always   held   the   upper   hand.   now   ?   that   luxury   had   been   taken   away.   forced   into   a   do   or   die   situation,   she   found   herself   running   out   of   options.   “   humiliation   is     HIDEOUS.   ”

“ hey,  now,  you could never be hideous, “   evan said,   the words rushing over themselves to fall out of his mouth to fill what was setting up to be a long silence,  as he thought about what to actually say.   that was the thing about talking to vivian;   evan loved her,   had always cherished that their familial bond gave them a closeness not everyone could get with her.    she didn’t talk to just anyone   —   and evan,  of course,  talked to everyone.   he spewed out words like he was getting paid by the minute,  possessed a mouth as non - stop as his mind.   of course,  most of what he said was bullshit,   and most of what vivian said seemed to matter.   it gave him pause,  watching her place some intricate charm over her cauldron that stopped the bubbling surface just before the pop.   he didn’t want to just spew out bullshit here,  not when they were isolated in the dungeons,  away from the prying ears they’d have found anywhere else,  at any other time of day.   he had time to,  like,  think about what he was saying before he said it,  and he wanted to.   it was just hard thinking about what to say when he wanted to say something honest.   “ I mean   …  “   he began,  trailing off before he could even really get started.   he bit his lip,   casting his glance back over her cauldron for just a second before he made himself meet her eyes again,  a tiny little shrug overtaking his shoulders.   “ neutrality isn’t,  like,  the easiest, “  he agreed.   “ you don’t even know some of the stuff I’ve heard from my dormmates.  like,  I feel like it’s obvious just how neutral I am,  given how obviously not neutral they are,  y’know?   and they’re not holding my feet to the fire,  or anything,  but I get the sense it’s just because,  like   —   they have time to hold my feet to the fire. “   he sighed,  this great heaving exhalation that did its best to move the immobile smoke hanging over the cauldron between them.   “ but,  from the outside,  you’ve gotta know,  you don’t seem humiliated in the slightest.  like,  you sure as hell don’t seem cast out,  which has to count for something;   keep your chin up,  I guess. “

❛   mhmm  .   ❜    she  replies  with  a  nod  .  she  trusts  the  other  ,  probably  shouldn’t  but  does  .  in  her  dark  she  does  not  need  to  hide  her  pale  cheeks  ,  anxiety  only  growing  at  the  thought  of  returning  to  that  blasted  broom  .  his  words  prove  a  welcome  distraction  ,  hands  fiddling  with  her  broom  with  each  step  .  ❛   he  likes  t’rhyme  .  doesn’t  help  much  with  his  explanations  but   —   ❜  she  shrugs  ,  she  enjoys  charms  despite  the  confusion  often  left  by  their  professor  .  flitwick  is  a  good  teacher  ,  really  ,  but  he  tends  to  go  off  into  stories  that  don’t  make  much  sense  to  the  witch  herself  .  either  way  ,  she  enjoys  the  class  and  his  rambling  .  ❛   he  does  his  best  ,  yeah  ?  he  did  make  more  sense  back  in  first  ,  i’ll  give  you  tha’  .   ❜

“ fucking rhyming, “  evan said,   shaking his head with feigned chagrin that wasn’t,  actually,  all that feigned.   “ y’know,  I really do think that’s what throws me off sometimes, “   he continued,  turning his body towards her as much as he could whilst still walking and not actively trying to walk into wilda and run both of them into the wall.   absolute last thing he wanted to do,  that   ( or,  well,  not the last thing,  not in all contexts   —   shit,  fucking,  focus,  evan   —   ).   he bunched his brows together,   furrowing them as he forced himself to get back on track,  like,  verbally.   “ like,  I try to take good notes or whatever,  but I have to wade through the rhyming to get to the shit I should actually write down?   awful.  so much extra work. “   he swung his broom around,  resting it on the back of his shoulders and propping his wrists on it.   now he had to be extra fucking careful not to drift too close to wilda and knock her into the wall,  jesus christ.   he was trying to help her,  not shove her into some angry paintings ‘cause he got too distracted looking at her,  fuck.   they couldn’t get into the air soon enough.   “ like,  he is doing his best,  but I can’t say I don’t miss the dumbed down,  rhyme - less first year lessons,  man. “  

         catching  sight  of  evan   (   an  easy  enough  task  as  a  majority  of  the  student  body  happened  to  part  like  the  red  sea   )    ,   he  delivered  a  swift  nod   .   “   yeah   ,  i’ve  been  avoiding  you  .   ”   a  joke  ,  of  course   ,    made  obvious  by  the  mischievous  way  his  lips  curled  .  “  THAT   .  that’s  the  reason  why   ,   ya  pretty  boy  bastard   .   you  don’t  know  how  dehumanizing  it  is  to  have  your  li’l  sister  try  to  draw  those  suckers  back  in  .   ”   he  spoke  with  a  serious  tone   ;   however   ,   there  was  nothing  serious  about  the  conversation   .   oz  would  be  the  first  person  to  laugh  at  himself   ,  no  matter  what  the  situation   .   he  felt  it  eased  the  embarrassment           as  if  they  were  laughing  because  HE  allowed  it   ,   and  not   ,   for  example   ,   because  he  fell  off  his  skateboard  in  front  of  a  group  of  first  years   .   “  gotta  be  honest  though  …   i  looked  good  .   ”

evan tried not too pleased at the thought of oz avoiding him;   he was,  contrary to some popular belief,  self - aware enough to know it was fucking weird to like the idea of someone avoiding him.  but,  fuck,  even though he knew oz was joking it was kind of a flattering thought,  wasn’t it?   he’d dealt with enough heartsick fourth years last valentine’s day to do know what occupying positive space in someone’s mind looked like.  it was,  whatever,  kind of fun to imagine occupying that much negative space in someone’s mind,  that they worked hard to actively avoid you.   “ fuck, sorry, “  he said,  sure that some of his amused pleasure crept onto his face and into his voice despite his   ( admittedly piss - poor )   best efforts.   “ I’ll get out of your hair so you can avoid me and my pretty face soon enough. ”   he made a show of leaning in closer to oz,  eyes flicking up so he could really scrutinize the eyebrows in question.  then,  he leaned back,  and let his smile turn teasingly lecherous.  “ well,  if we’re being honest, “  he said,   laughing a little despite himself.   “ they still look pretty good.  maybe not as good as your sister’s handiwork,  but definitely better than your old eyebrows. “

          they didn’t have a good practice to say the least — rather unfortunately , their mind had been preoccupied for once , leading them to catch the snitch exactly one time and fall off their broom exactly three times . the team had saved their breath from chastising them as this was HIGHLY unusual behavior for them . but they can’t bring themselves to go back to the locker room , not yet at least . they sit on one of the stands with their broom resting on the bench , looking up at the stars beginning to light the sky . they hear another come up , assuming it’s a teammate they don’t offer a greeting when the footsteps stop . “ what person sits and looks at the sky when they’re in a good mood , rosier ? ” something akin to defeat sits in their voice as they move to sit up , brushing away the strays that threaten to stick to their face . “ i thought slytherins didn’t have practice ? ”

     IT seemed as though bellatrix black couldn’t do much of anything these days without being interrupted by something or another. she supposes that she should be thankful that it wasn’t some naive first year with a question so trivial it almost pained her to answer. “ evan, ” she nods, placing a napkin on her lap and preparing a roll to be buttered. she makes a pointed look towards the emptying table and decides it won’t be much hurt to spend this morning in his company. bellatrix was fond of a late and light breakfast, finding that a cup of tea and a few pastries went well with knowing she was the master of how she spent her time. “ it’s far too early for me to process your, ” she pauses, searching for the right word, “ sweet-talking ”. she waves a hand over her cup, watching as it fills with a nice mint flavoured blend. “ don’t let the others hear you say that… ” she takes a sip of her tea, humming in satisfaction. putting the cup down on a saucer, she looks back up at evan, amusement in her eyes. “ it might cause a family feud. ”

            evan smiled,   open and pleased to have someone recognize his  ‘ sweet - talking ‘ so early in the day,  even if he did get the sense that bellatrix wasn’t quite noting it with compliment.   it was being called what it was,  and he was decidedly not being told to fuck, off.   evan was good at taking his wins where he wanted to,  so he was counting this in his favor regardless of her intent.   “ bellatrix, “   he said,   repeating her name to match her more even - keeled greeting.  it was a little silly to greet someone twice,  but like,  that was half the point of doing it.   he unrolled his knife from his napkin,  belatedly copying her lead and haphazardly tossing it over his lap with one hand while the other reached for the butter.   “ ah,  but if you ask me,  it’s never too early for sweet - talking,  whether it can be processed or not. “  he debated winking,  then thought that if his cadence was too much,  then outright dramatics were definitely too much for the morning.  instead,  he got to work buttering his rolls,  gesturing with the butter - laden butter knife as necessary.   “ it’s the thought that counts,  yeah?   which is why it’s fine.  I’ve definitely got enough things to say to everyone to avoid that sort of feuding.  you’re my favorite cousin named bellatrix,  cissa’s my favorite cousin named,  well,  cissa,  and so on. “

Liza just pulled a face at the subject he was doing. Liza found most of the subjects had Hogwarts mostly intereseting. But not that one. “I cannot wait to drop that class.” Maybe it was important to know about history, but that class was boring as anything. She couldnt wiat to be done with it. She smirked at his words though. “Nothing is as nice a time as talking to be babe” She mused, clearly very confident. Liza knew she was pretty and she wasn’t one to not brag about it. Evan’s compliments only helped, even if he was lying it on pretty thicky. But frankly, Liza didn’t care that much.

“Mmmm” She tilted her head to the side, as if she was considering what he had said. “I suppose that might be true….” She murmured, with a shrug. There was no denying that he was handsome. She laughed, shaking her head. “And we wonder why they all say we are both vain….” She murmured, still smirking. Why not be vain when they looked as good as they did? She’d rather be pretty and vain, than be pretty and not do anything about it.

“Why waste my precious time finding a bribe when it might not work” She mused, with a shrug as she relaxed back in a chair. “Flattering your looks? Psh. You dont need anyone to tell you how hot you are, you do that enough yourself babe”

evan shrugged;   he knew a lot of his chosen  n.e.w.t.  courses weren’t,  y’know,  the most sexy options out there.   but he’d chosen most of them for one of two very specific reasons:   he’d either liked the material,   or he’d really liked the ashen shade his father’s skin had taken on when evan revealed that he,  like,  had the  o.w.l.  scores to take n.e.w.t.  level divination,  or history of magic.   he wasn’t the most focused student in anything,  all thing’s being what they were.   he’d never found history of magic to be all that worse than potions,  and he was actually  ‘ good ‘  in potions,  so.  why not study broom history,  and medieval alchemy,  and whatever else binns threw their way?          like fuck was he going to voice all of that to liza,  of all people,  though.   it was so much easier to give her a charming grin to match the  devil - may - care shrug.   “ eh,  dropping it can’t be a worse choice than not dropping it, “  he said,  non - committal to the end.   

“ oh,  forgive me,  that’s right   —   fuck,  why do I do anything but talk to you,  then? “   his grin grew wider,   less charming and more shit - eating,   but that was all par for the teasing course,  here.    “ although,  like,  c’mon,  I’ve given you plenty compliments now.  you’ve gotta return the favor at least a little bit,  sweeten the pot for me. “   he cocked a cocky brow at her,   doing what he could to nonverbally communicate that he wasn’t,  actually,  hurt that she wasn’t showering him with sweet nothings.  

“ like,  all you’ve done so far is call me vain, “  he continued,  teasing.   “ in some circles that’s more insult than compliment,  even if you have noticed that we’re both pretty enough to deserve the vanity. “ 

“ hey,  bella, “   evan said,  dropping himself down in front of his cousin with a shit - eating grin.  he wasn’t sure if she’d been waiting on someone else to join her at the slytherin table,  but he figured she’d either tell him to get lost or make do with having to hang out with him for dinner.   evan was,  like,  probably biased,  but he thought he was pretty good company and was mostly banking on bellatrix going with the latter option.   he reached out a quick hand and stole the basket of rolls from the center of the table,  snagging a couple for his plate before setting it back with an even more shit - eating smile.  “ did’ya miss me?  I feel like the start of the year’s always such a fucking whirlwind,  I haven’t even gotten to spend time with my favorite cousin named bellatrix. “  he raised his brows at her,  wondering how much snark he’d be able to get away with so early in the conversation.   “ I mean,  I definitely missed you,  so you’ve almost gotta say it back. “

the second he entered the common room,  evan’s eyes shifted over the whole tableau it made;   he didn’t feel quite like going up to his dormitory yet,  but he also wasn’t sure he felt the vibe of the couches where it seemed a gaggle of second years were orchestrating a wizard’s chess tournament.   then he caught sight of mercy,  tucked away in one of a cluster of armchairs by the fireplace,  and strolled towards her with purpose.  and,  like,  maybe he shouldered his way past one of the rowdier second - year chess players,  but he figured they’d deal.  he didn’t want to lose out on a prime seat near someone he liked talking to just to be polite to some fifteen year old.   “ hey,  mercy, “  he greeted her with a wide grin before plopping right down in the seat,  tossing his bag haphazardly onto the floor by his feet.  “ long time no see   —   it’s been,  what,  since breakfast?  ages.  tell me everything that’s happened since then. “

evan bumped his shoulder against wilda’s,  deliberate & companionable,  when they met up to start the trek out to the pitch.   he’d been more than half - tempted to greet her with a hug,  but something told him that would maybe be coming on a little strong for a quick jaunt down to the quidditch pitch so he could spend a night playing keeper for wilda.   maybe,  if the urge was still sitting there in him,  they could hug when they were done getting practice in.   “ hey,  you’re taking n.e.w.t. charms,  right? “  he asked,  pretty sure he knew the answer but wanting to stretch the conversation out as much as he could until they needed to take to their brooms.   “ ‘cause,  like,  I swear to god sometimes it feels like flitwick tries to explain things in the way that will most confuse the hell out of me,  and I need to know if that’s universal or more of a personal problem,  y’know? “

evan ​probably should’ve expected to see at least one other person standing around by the pitch   —   it did,  in hindsight,  make sense that at least one of the hufflepuff players would’ve lingered after their posted practice time.  maybe he was just lucky that there wasn’t a whole gaggle of them still gathered for some post - practice team meeting.   he could be charming when he needed to be,  but he didn’t feel like wading into a whole pack of opposing players and having to make,  like,  charming small talk with all of them.  maybe some other time,  but not this evening.   he gave eve a cordial nod,  setting his broom and bag against the stands so he could pull a roll of tape his bag and start winding it around his hands.   “ how’re you doing? “  he said,  glancing up at them with a small smile.   charming small talk with one person,  he supposed,  he could manage.  “ the skies look pretty clear tonight. “

“ hey,  harper, “   evan said,  words conversational and light as he slung what could perhaps be called an overly - familiar arm around the hufflepuff’s shoulder.  but in his defense,  it was so he could more easily tilt his head down to whisper to her,   “ do you have any fucking clue what those two are going after each other about? “   the pair of them weren’t really in the crowd that had gathered around two third years   ( if he had to put a guess to their age )   currently engaged in a rather scathing screaming match right in front of the entrance to a staircase.  it seemed kind of a poor place to air your dirty laundry in his opinion,  but then,  he could respect that at least one of them had a flair for the dramatics.   “ ‘cause I do need to get to care of magical creatures,  but if it’s about something juicy I could stand to be late. “

evan didn’t like to think of himself as the sort of person who really  ‘ played favorites. ’   like,  everyone had preferences sometimes and that was only natural or whatever,  but for the most part he was at least diplomatic enough to cover that shit up.   evan genuinely liked his dormmates fine enough;  you don’t spend seven years living in each other’s pockets without at least getting to a comfortable place with one another.   still;   ( there was always a still,  always a but )   evan thought that sometimes lucius was one of the easiest to be around.  evan didn’t have to be so,  fucking   …   on his toes around him,  or at least,  it didn’t feel like he had to be.  when he walked into their dormitory and saw only the other seventh year around,  something like relief settled over him like a cool shower.   the grin he tossed lucius’ way was easy & genuine,  as were his words when he said,  “ hey,  stranger.  you done for the day,  too? “

“ my man, “  evan crowed when he caught sight of oz walking in the opposite direction past him.  he knew that some of the volume of his greeting was probably gonna be lost on gryffindor,  but he did appreciate the way that his yelling always seemed to clear a path in the crowds right when he needed it to.  real convenient,  that,  as it let him shove his way against the flow of foot traffic to put himself nearer to oz.   “ man,  I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve gotten to catch up with you, “  he continued at a more respectable volume now that he wasn’t trying to force his way through a crowded hallway as he spoke.  he raised a brow at oz,  giving him a quick once - over,  maybe played up just a little bit more than it had to be.  evan just wouldn’t be himself without some slight overreacting.  “ you’re lookin’ alright,  like those eyebrows have both grown back in over the summer and everything. “

“   you   deserve   it.   ”   it   could   be   said   that   vivian   was   in   feud   of   one   with   evan.   never   seeking   out   the   attention   that   she   secretly   craved,   the   ravenclaw   was   uncharacteristically   wounded   at   her   cousins   long   awaited   appearance.   it   was   pathetic   really,   she   knew   it.   she’d   silently   berate   the   neediness   of   others   and   here   she   was   wallowing   in   the   same   emotions   she   judged   so   harshly.   her   circle   was   kept   tight   with   purpose   and   while   it   would   take   her   a   day   to   effectively   account   for   all   the   ways   in   which   she   was   related   to   the   purebloods   that   walked   the   same   halls,   evan   was   her   true   and   chosen   family.   she   supposed   this   is   what   it   felt   like   to   have   a   sibling   -   a   constant   thorn   in   your   side   but   one   that   kept   your   heart   ticking   with   intrigue   and   affection.   “   all   of   those   people   aren’t   family.   nice   to   know   where   i   am   on   your   list   of   priorities.   ”   a   hint   of   truth   blended   with   a   teasing   tone   provided   a   peculiar   cocktail,   just   like   the   honey   water   and   mallowsweet   that   had   been   carefully   poured   into   her   cauldron.   she   had   no   intention   of   dampening   the   mood   despite   her   mothers   insistence   that   she   had   an   umatched   talent   for   it.   “   i’m   no  seer   but   i   have   a   suspicion   that   you’re   after   something.   ”

      “  I mean,  yeah,  I probably do,  “  evan said,  acquiescing easily to vivian the way he only ever did to family.   maybe to his detriment   ( lord knew he could stand to say no to his dad a little more often )   but he found it easy enough to take point from vivian here.   there were few people in the halls of the castle who could tell him he deserved even  play - acted  pain and have him take them seriously,  but he found that   —   yeah,  here,  at least,  he trusted viv’s judgement more than his own,  and was already plotting a series of little apologies to follow this conversation.   you could never play it too safe when trying to court forgiveness from someone,  evan thought;  he didn’t often ask for forgiveness,  but that didn’t mean he didn’t know how to get it anyway.   evan was seldom serious,  but he made himself drop any teasing from his face and tried to hammer some respectability into his words while he was at it.   “ you’re right,  they’re not family.   I’m not gonna have to deal with any of them after next year unless I want to, “   he said,  a slight shrug accompanying the explanation.   “ and I figure I’m lucky enough to always have you around,  so I didn’t rush anything until I figured we’d have some real time to catch up.   but I still could’ve snagged you for a hug  ‘ hello ‘  in the meantime. “   he let himself drop a little of his seriousness,  shaking it off like a set of robes he hadn’t worn since fourth year.   the light smile he tossed vivian’s way felt much more comfortable on his face,  probably as a side - effect of using it more than anything earnest.   “ thank merlin you’re not a seer, “  he said,  a joking scoff underlying the words.   “ I get enough of the seer - wannabe’s in divination.  no,  but,  I guess I might be after something   —   just a little of that aforementioned catching up,  if you’ve got the time is all. “