rekkitrebe

also unrelated to this post, but i think i found a good local printing vendor that can do uv printing in low qty. i'm planning to do a photocard to test it out, and maybe some enamel pins? i'll show you when i'm about to do it (and the final test print ofc) i've been curious about doin fan mech but i don't really have the courage to ask the vendor😅 so we'll see how this turns out. oh and the pc will include fount, shmilk, sage, and prof. and maybe my oc because i'm greedy 🤐

-He's very concerned about your health during this time and can become very clingy, out of concern and love of course. He's very doting in bringing you food, holding your hair back when you're sick, and being there for every doctor appointment. Even offers to heal you whenever you feel even a little sore even if it's unnecessary. He's literally too precious- He's there when you go into labor and rushing you to the other healers with the emergency baby bag he prepared after asking Hollyberry advice as to what to expect as a fellow mother and Dark Cacao as a fellow dad.

-He's doing everything from holding your hand (he'll heal it later), give you encouragement, and offers to heal you if the pain becomes too much. It won't really do anything in the middle of pushing a whole other cookie out of your body but the gesture is appreciated. When the baby arrives, Pure Vanilla starts crying asking if you're ok and starts praising you- "You did it, Darling. Thank you. I'm so proud of you. I love you so much." He's literally too precious. He's smiling the happiest he's ever been in his life looking at the chubby little yellow blobs in his arms. Twins! He's sobbing harder with a big smile as one sleeps and the other waves his chubby arms at him happy to receive affection from their dad.

-Vanilla Bean Cookie and Vanilla Ice Cream Cookie is what he names them. I don't need to give context other than you both thought the names were cute and wanted to give PV's family some honor.

BURNING SPICE COOKIE:

-This man is the definition of stress if it grew legs and walked out of the dictionary. He is literally the shocked Pikachu face meme when you first tell him. He's panicking internally. He's not a dad. He CAN'T be a dad! There's no way he COULD be a dad! He doesn't believe that you're actually pregnant until he sees all the changes happening to your body. Being the Herald Of Change meant he knew all changes in the world, including the changes a woman had when she got pregnant. Honestly he went out and destroyed things to relieve stress and tried not to bring the anger around you too much. He avoided you a bit cuz he wouldn't know how to deal with the hormones and odd behavior but he'd leave Nutmeg Tiger Cookie to tend to you.

-He's there when baby dough arrives, but he waits outside slowly squeezing the life out of rocks or screaming into the void trying to relieve the stress in the only way he knows how- Destroying things and yelling until the delivery is over with. He still doesn't go anywhere near your room until Nutmeg Tiger Cookie tells him that you're wanting to see him. Not wanting to look scared in front of his minions, he went in but was absolutely (terrified-) weary on the inside. He barely makes it to your bed and you're shoving a tiny bundle at him in the shape of a waffle cone.

-He freezes. Fully just FREEZES up having them in his hands, staring at a soundly sleeping red blob wrapped up in soft blankets. It looked...weak. Helpless. Pathetic. Everything he hated and everything he wasn't and yet- "Are you alright there?" He doesn't speak for a long, long moment just staring blankly at the baby fast asleep. ".......We're naming this creature Pumpkin Spice Cookie." "You can't just name him without me, Babe." "Better! Pound Cake Cookie so he has a fitting name when he pummels his enemies!!" "Absolutely not!!" "We'll create an army of heirs to conquer Golden Cheese Cookie!!!" He's proudly holding Pumpkin Spice/Pound Cake Cookie in the air like a true proud papa! "You will be the first member of our growing army!!" "I am not going through THAT again!" "What?....Not even one more?" "NO!"

-Well he gets his wish for more 'future generals for his army' when another unbearable pain causes you to shriek out making him panic until he realizes that there's another baby dough on the way. Twenty minutes later and he's proudly holding two reddish-orange baby doughs in his arms. "NOW WE WILL CONQUER GOLDEN CHEESE COOKIE WITH THREE TIMES MY POWER!!" Someone please stop him before you snap from the exhaustion and strangle this man for putting you through hell for nine months and many hours. Safe to say he got his Pound Cake Cookie and Pumpkin Spice Cookie.

DARK CACAO COOKIE:

-He's very apprehensive when he finds out he's going to be a father again. He's afraid he's going to fail them again like he feels like he did with Dark Choco and doesn't think he'll be a good father to anymore children. However the kingdom thinks it's a good idea that the Dark Kingdom has a proper heir again to ensure the throne's security. It's really only that reason and you're insistence on keeping the baby that he starts to come around to reluctantly accepting his fate. But he wants to try and be a good father to your baby for his wife and his future son/daughter.

-He's been through everything before so he's actually a real natural with taking care of you. Shadow Milk might be the smartest cookie but Dark Cacao is better at parenting and taking care of you while pregnant. He's attentive but isn't as worried as most other cookies. He trusts you to wonder around by yourself and he isn't as worried so he'll still go about his life(he still has a whole kingdom to run and worry about Mystic Flour's aftermath to deal with-) but he still has servants to assist you and he always checks on you at least once a day. "Do you need anything, Love?" "I'm having a doctor visit today." "Are you feeling ok today?" "I brought you the food you wanted."

-When labor comes he drops everything to go see you. Does't matter if it's an important meeting HIS WIFE IS GIVING BIRTH DAMMIT!! HE'LL BE DAMMED IF HE MISSES IT!! He decides to go with whatever you want or the doctor thinks it's best. He'll hold you through the process or sit outside in wait. Either way he's going to sit there until he hears his baby crying. And the baby? He's reluctant to hold them but does and finds himself shellshocked when a perfect little blob is blinking confused up at him. They looked so much as Dark Choco as a baby. He's overwhelmed with emotions nothing negative but a lot at once. Nearly crying as he lets the stubby arm grab his hand. "Hello there...I hope you don't mind having a fool like me as a father."

-However he's shocked when just a few minutes later there's a second cry and just a few minutes later, the midwives are placing another dark little blob in his other arm. He's just in shock standing there and staring for a long moment, actually has to sit down to process it but he's very, very happy to have two little ones. His only regret is not having Dark Choco here to meet his baby siblings as a family. Following the tradition of their names, Dark Cocoa Cookie and Dark Coffee Cookie seems like fitting names for royals of the Dark Cacao kingdom.

Elder Faerie Cookie:

-Very calm. He's able to reassure you that everything was going to be alright and assured you he's going to be with you every step of the way, and he does. From the day you both find out you're expecting, he's by your side all day every day assisting you with anything you need, insisting you stay in bed rest despite your protests, and insists on his servants bringing him any books on parents they could get their hands on and anything else they need to the room he stays with you. You really have to almost kick him out of your bedroom to convince him to give you some space. Still insists on having some fairy servants stay with you at all times just in case.

-When the baby arrives he's literally flying faster than White Lily Cookie had ever seen him go. Bursting onto the bed chambers panting, crown crooked, and tripping over his robes as he comes in to sit next to you. "My love, are you alright?! I came as soon as I heard-" "Dear, calm down. You're more distressed than I am and I'm the one in pain." Despite his disheveled appearance, he's fairly calm with his heart pounding in his chest. Patiently watching the healers work and rubbing your head in comfort until the familiar cries of a baby was heard. He's patient, watching intently as the doctors handle a small bundle before offering it to him. A beautiful blob of brown stares back at him with silver eyes and curiously a delicate pain of underdeveloped silvery wings twitch on his back. "Well? How is he?" Elder Faerie smiles softly. "He's the most beautiful gift I could've ever been given."

-When his son's twin is ultimately born as well, Elder Faerie Cookie honestly doesn't question it. He's holding both of his babies allowing you to have a break and get some sleep. He loves you all equally. As for names he'd name them something regal but cute. Silver Bell Fairy Cookie and Silver Glitter Fairy Cookie(a play on edible glitter).

Millennial Tree Cookie:

-Out of all the cookies on this list he's the most calm tbh. The vines foretold of his child/ren's arrival and he took it with as much happiness and calmly as he usually did. He's always known for his level headedness in any situation, and this for once was a very welcome surprise he embraced. Of course that didn't mean he still didn't take care of you. Most hands on to taking care of you such as massaging your sore back or ankles, making sure you always have plenty of healthy organic snacks within reach, and using natural remedies to help your soreness. Of course he's also making sure you're getting proper attention to yourself because he knows some women feel excluded from their husband's attention as soon as they have kids, and he never wants you to feel like that. He loves you both equally.

-Actually knows the exact time and day you go into labor and is calmly waiting by your side for it to start, excitement rustling his leaves. How does he know? No one is sure but perhaps the vines told him again. He is however very soothing and good at calming you through the process as a healer he had already sent Wind Archer Cookie to bring was helping(knowing how natural he is about things, he'd probably insist on a natural home birth). He's very calm still, but lightly crying when he hears the first cries of his baby and thanking the witches above for the miracle that he held in his arms. Lightly bouncing the light brown blob squirming around clearly unhappy in his blanket. He feels he's been truly blessed for this.

-And if it's twins? He's crying happy tears but not surprised. Somehow this man already knew the entire time! How? Not even Wind Archer Cookie knows but he's there with gifts and congratulating the both of you on the two squirming cookies wrapped in waffle cones. Being Millennial Tree Cookie who has a big tie to nature, he definitely wants both twins to have ties to their heiritage too. Herbal Blend Cookie and Rose Tea Cookie sounds nice.

Cream Unicorn Cookie:

-Very excited when learning that they're gonna be a dad. They're literally from an amusement park and likes making kids laugh, so of course having children of they're own was never off the table! They doesn't care if they're their bio kids, adopted, step, foster, or just visiting the park with their families. They love being around kids and having some of their own is literally their dream come true, but they're going to have to learn how to actually raise a baby and prepare for them because raising a child and just playing with them at the park are two very different things.

-They're surprisingly very good at learning and taking care of you during this time. Reading as many books as they can, asking lots of parents especially those carrying baby doughs of their own for advice around the park, and of course making a nursery in their own tent. And yes the nursery is circus themed with a hot dog stand themed cradle, a mini merry go round, and even giant animal cracker plushies. You have no idea where they got them from. Well they're not no prepared when you're having pains or throwing up but they do their best to comfort you by trying to make you smile and help as much as possible.

-Since I adore the idea of them having triplets with the colors of their hair(sorry no twins, this Cookie gets a cute lil trio) Cotten Candy Cookie, Blue Raspberry Cookie, and Banana Cream Pie Cookie.

Shadow Milk Cookie:

-Out of everyone on this list, Shadow Milk is THE most prepared for the incoming of his baby. Ex Fount of Knowledge means he knows everything that's going to happen and does his best to accommodate you and prepare for the baby's arrival. Making you all your cravings, stuffing the nursery full of toys, dealing with all his enemies before they found out about his greatest weakness- Y'know regular soon-to-be dad stuff. If he can't be around you then he has Black Sapphire or Candy Apple help you. Usually Black Sapphire if he can help it since Candy Apple Cookie is more... irrational.

-He's right there holding your hand as you go into labor, squeezing the life out of his hand that he's sure you permanently broke his hand but he's too distracted panicking because he has no idea what to do. All that preparing and no how just went bye bye as soon as you started screaming in absolute pain and cursing him out- "I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOUR BODY A SECOND TIME SO YOU CAN NEVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN!!" and "I'M GOING TO RIP OFF YOUR MILKDUDS AND FEED THEM TO THE SUGAR GNOMES!!!" He's very scared of the absolute hatred on your face only stuttering encouraging words until he hears a baby screaming. There's a thud as he faints... literally just drops to the floor out cold for twenty minutes.

-His body is literally shaking in both excitement and nerves as he reaches out so the doctor can hand him the moving bundle. As soon as he looks at the blue blob lightly crying with big watery yellow eyes blinking up at him..he breaks. Shadow Milk Cookie doesn't cry..but he was 'sweating out of his eyes' and (sobbing-) 'gasping for air' as he holds the squirming blob. "She's perfect. *Sob* She's so perfect. Aahhh-" You're worried about the amount of tears coming from his multiple eyes staining the floor.

-Until a sharp pain suddenly cuts through your body and just a little while later, a second blue blob is being held by the doctors. Another nurse has to grab SM as be faints again and grab the baby out of his arms before he drops them. Otherwise he's perfectly ok and is gonna cry his eyes out over both of them being the most beautiful babies in the world. As for names Sparkleberry Jam Cookie since the Sparkleberry Jam in game looks like something associated with SMC and Blueberry Yogurt Cookie.

Longan Dragon Cookie:

-They don't usually show much emotion often usually defaulting to a neutral expression even when they're happy. However once you break the news to them that you thought you were expecting, they freeze up. Not quite sure what to do with the information you gave them, then after a minute or two they ask exactly two questions. "Are you sure?" and "Do you want to see a doctor and get a second opinion?" Yes to both and so they agrees to take you to a cookie doctor, despite how much they despise cookies and would rather turn this crumb into stone for allowing him to examine their mate so intimately like this. You have to them that- "It's just a physical! Calm down, Longan." Once the doctor confirms that you are indeed pregnant, Longan has to take a moment to let it sink in. "I didn't even know it was possible to produce offspring with someone who wasn't another dragon. However this is quite a welcomed miracle."

-Honestly treats you really well during the pregnancy. Instincts tell them to make a nice warm nest for their eggs but since he isn't having eggs, they'll make you lay in the nest instead especially as you progress because their instincts scream at them that's where you'll be safest. Dotes on you bringing you food, blankets, things to entertain you as long as you don't leave the nest for anything else than take baths or use the bathroom. It'd honestly be really sweet if they weren't so dam strict about everything. However Longan means well. They hasn't seen another one of their kind have children in ages, and he wants to take special care in their own offspring coming into the world with only instincts and what information he remembers from other dragon parents during their lifetime to go on. They didn't even know it was possible for their kind to crossbreed let alone have live offspring instead of eggs.

-When the baby comes they don't want you to leave the nest. Instincts on high alert and wanting you to stay somewhere they deemed safe. It takes you yanking around their head by his horn and yelling at them in a way that scares them to take you to a dam doctor NOW. They compromise and take you to one of the dragon's isle villages to a village healer instead. That's the closest thing to a doctor you'll get but luckily the healer knew exactly what they were doing and Longan sat there the entire time through screams and you destroying their hand until not one but two cries reach their ears. A minute later they're handed two babies wrapped up in cone blankets. COOKIE baby doughs. They frowns because how could they have made weak cookie babies!? The only trace of dragon heritage is the bat like wings uselessly twitching on their backs.

-"They're weak...but they're mine and they will grow to become full dragons. In fact-.." They stare at you for a long, long moment considering something. "What if there's another way to bring about the age of dragons?" "If you think i'm going through this again, I'll break your horn off and stab you with it." Takes your threat seriously as they should. Names them something majestic but connected to them such as Dragon's Eye Cookie, Miracle Cookie, Draco Cookie, something along those lines.

Ananas Dragon Cookie:

-Much like Longan Dragon Cookie he's also shocked but more so. He had no idea a dragon could have offspring with anyone who wasn't another dragon. He's shocked, confused, a bit scared, but then it quickly turns into a proudness that boosts his ego. "You're telling me I've done something that no one's heard of before? HA!! Of course I'd be the one to do the impossible! I'm the Golden Dragon of Pineapple Island!!" Someone please stop him before he inflates more of his own ego.

-Has no idea what he's doing in terms of helping you during your pregnancy. He's seen other dragons do things like make nests and light fires in their homes to melting degrees to help their eggs hatch but you weren't having an egg. However he's witnessed many of his villagers have children through his long life and asks them about what to expect during this time. Honestly the villagers are probably the ones who take care of you because as much as he tries his best, he's not much help. However he's trying and that's what counts. Constantly asks other parents for what to do, brings you armfuls of things like pillows and healthy fruit snacks every few days even if his last gifts hadn't been used up yet. Boosts about his 'impossible miracle' to everyone too.

-When the babies come he's dropping EVERYTHING and busting into the resident village healer's home, probably ripping off the door with him by accident. He'll help fix it as an apology later, right now he's staying by your side letting you squeeze his hand and yell anything you want at him. Anything you need him to do he's doing it except leaving the room. He's staying no matter what anyone says, and when twins are born for once the egotistical dragons says absolutely nothing. No boasts. No jokes. No compliments. Just staring in awe at the two yellow baby doughs with useless little wings like his twitching on their backs. He's definitely proud and happy to have them in his life and proud of his mate for giving him such a precious gift. He gives them tropical fruit names. Pineapple Dragon Cookie, Coconut Dragon Cookie, etc.

He didn't know what to expect when his claws raked across the fabric of time and space and then jumping in through the hole before that yellow haired menace on flying scissors could stop him.

He expected seeing another version of Earthbread. Maybe a perfect paradise. Maybe a brand new utopia he could easily turn to his perfected timeline he was looking for. Different versions of himself and other cookies he knew was definitely a possibility and he wouldn't be surprised about that.

What he wasn't expecting was to fly really fast and splat face first into a giant ceramic cup. The cup shook with the force of the smaller cookie ramming painfully into it as the portal closed behind him...comically he slowly peeled off laying flat on his back up on what felt like a wooden floor.

With a groan he slowly sat up, rubbing his face. "That hurt." As soon as he opened his eyes, he freezes. "What on Earthbread?"

He's surrounded. Not by anyone, but by gigantic objects. In front of him is a HUGE teacup on top of a HUGE saucer next to a HUGE pitcher. Everywhere he turned there was a giant table set. Giant plates and forks and spoons and a whole giant bowl with giant fruit at least a whole half cookie taller than him- Slowly he gets to his feet walking across the wooden table.

"Where is this place?"

Did he shrink? Hmmmmmm. Perhaps he entered a dimension where cookies were much larger than the timeline he was from? Wouldn't be the weirdest timeline he's seen so far. The timeline where he was a talking mushroom addicted to eating rock candies-...THAT was the weirdest one yet. However he paused right next to the pitcher. Freezing is more like it because every. Single. Eye. On his body widened in absolute horror.

"...Oh no."

He was staring at the inside of a cozy cottage. Like he kind you'd see in fairytails like in 'Snow White Chocolate and the Seven Sugar Gnomes'. Except everything was absolutely MASSIVE!! WAAAAYYYY bigger than he was!! Stone walls and floors surrounded him plastered with massive shelves of multiple shaped bottles with all different kinds of glowing liquids in a rainbow of all kinds of colors. Herbs hung dry on from the ceiling. An open book with a recipe for 'Hair Glossing Potion' sat open on a counter top all alone. A crackling sound revealed a massive fireplace with a fire still roaring and a black cauldron with brownish liquid bubbled on top from the heat. Overall nothing too out of the ordinary....

FOR A WITCH'S HUT!!!

CRUMBS!! Dam, dam, dam!!

His multiple eyes scanned in different directions searching for any large human that wasn't there! This was bad! This was really, really bad! He was the most powerful cookie in existence now! No cookie could stand up to him! But a witch!? A witch's teeth and digestive system were the most powerful killing machine for any cookie no matter how powerful they were!! Even if he could theoretically survive he wouldn't be stupid enough to risk trying!

Then the worst thing possible happened. Large footsteps approached and a large door he didn't notice before swung open with a loud creak. He ducked behind the pitcher only peering out enough to watch the long shadow fall along the floor as the footsteps approached. The voice of the monster followed.

"The cream sheep jump over the fence. Over the fence. Over the fence. The cream sheep jump over the fence and roll into the cream puff patch!," a loud high pitched voice sang.

Wait..What?

The shadow quickly shrank when the SMALLEST witch he'd ever seen came walking in big Happy grin to his face as he turned and started walking right for the table.

"The cream sheep then roll away. Roll away. Roll away. The cream sheep then roll away getting sticky all through the patch," he continued to sing the nursery rhyme...Actually that was a pretty old nursery rhyme. One he hadn't heard in years.

Never the less his back pressed against that pitched as the child walked right up to the table oblivious to the cookie just feet away from him. A giant screeching noise made him wince as a giant chair was pulled out and the child climbed onto it to reach the table. Maybe it was the old distant fount part of his brain resurfacing making him hungry to look at this rare once in a lifetime opportunity. Maybe it was his favorite quote 'curiosity killed the animal cracker'. Or maybe it was just pure instinct to keep an eye on something that could truly possibly end his life, but he ended up peering out from behind the pitcher to stare at the child.

....Hmm. He was no expert on humans or witches/wizards in general, but by the looks of him he was about-...Six? Maybe seven years old? With pure white hair and deep almost shiny blue eyes. He stood on the chair and reached across the table to grab a massive banana from the fruit bowl, unpeeling it with ease, and then taking a massive bite of it. Just the size of those teeth made him gulp and slowly slide back behind the pitcher. Yep! It was definitely time he jump into a different dimension!

The pitcher was suddenly lifted up making him freeze...and slowly look up. The child still hadn't noticed him standing there in plain view pouring milk into a cup until he turned to put the pitcher back and then he paused. Freezing with the pitcher of milk in his hands. Both stared at each other for exactly two seconds before the boy's face lit up with joy!

"Wait, wait, wait!! I don't taste good! Look at me! I'm too weird looking-"

"Papa!"

Wait..What?"

The table shook slightly as the pitcher was placed to the side and the boy bent down to look at him. "You're back!"

"I-..Uh...." He blinked. "What?!"

"Where's Mama?" He continued on as if he didn't see the absolute confused face the cookie had. "Is she still tiny too?" He tilted his head. "Daddy, why do you look like that?" A hand reached out and a finger finger poked his head much gentler than he expected. "You look funny. And when did you get hands?"

"Now wait just a minute!" He just waved a hand at the finger shooing it away. Raising a brow at the child. "You're not...going to eat me?"

The child grimaced. "EW! No! That's like eating worms! Yuck! Round cookies taste terrible enough. Why would I eat talking ones? Especially you?"

A long hum came from him. "Interesting. So you have..an allergy to cookies?" He's never heard of a witch or wizard being allergic to cookies before.

"Don't you already know that, Daddy?"

"Why are you calling me daddy?"

Now the giant kid looked confused. "Because you're my dad."

Him!? A cookie!? There was absolutely no way that was even physically possible! The only way this child would mistake him for his dad was if this timeline's version of himself adopted him for some reason Shadow Milk Cookie couldn't fathom! It was absolutely down right impossible!!...Unless...Maybe-...Just maybe-

"Oh of COURSE!!" He smiled happily. "How could I ever forget my precious little gumdrop?~ Silly me. I seem to be so utterly forgetful these days. Psh. You have no idea...I can't even remember Mommy's name right now." His many eyes crinkled up as he looked at him. "Do you know Mommy's name?"

"Um..." The little boy hummed looking to think really hard. "..Y/n??? I think."

"And Mommy's a witch?"

"Duh."

He inhaled slowly. Processing the information he had just been fed. His dear. His beloved. His absolutely one and only truth he'll ever admit to having. She was here. But she was a witch...Human. Who came from an entirely different world from cookies. Yet somehow they had come together as couple in this dimension...Hey. Wait a minute!

"Wait. Did you just ask me if she was still tiny?"

"You wanted her to talk at a lecture at school....Whatever a lecture is. You both left an hour ago. Why are you back so early?"

"Oh! I-...Ummmm. Had a magical thing happen you could say."

"Is that why you look funny?"

"Yes! So uh-..Since Im so forgetful today, how DID she get so tiny?"

"Shrinking potion." Of course it was a potion. "You get big with a growing potion."

A growing potion eh? If he was more powerful than any cookie already..how much MORE powerful could he become if he was as large as a witch!? A devious smirk pierced over his face.

"You wouldn't happen to have any more of that growing potion do ya?"

"No. We're out of ingredients."

Just his luck. Oh well....But this child..He took a good second look at him. Sure he barely looked anything like him but his eyes and hair was unmistakable. He had a son. With Y/n. Who just so happened to be a witch. He had no clue it was even possible- I mean who would think of this as a possibility to begin with!? He chuckled which made the boy tilt his head.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing. Are you here by yourself?"

"Grandma is cleaning the basement. She says there's too many ghosts in there and they keep everyone up at night."

First Milk....Of course she'd also be here as well. But that begged the question. Was she still fully witch, or had she transferred herself into the very dough she baked him from as well here. He made no move to stop the child from reaching out a giant hand and with surprising gentleness, wrapped his hand around him and lift him up. He was frozen a moment not used to the feeling of being handled like this but he held him with extreme care sliding off the chair, milk and half eaten banana forgotten on the table.

"Will you read me a story?"

"Sure. Whatever my beautiful pumpkin wants!~...By any chance, do you still have that shrinking potion?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Oh...no reason at all. Daddy might just take you and mommy on a special field trip soon.~"

"Are we visiting Uncle Burning Spice again?"

"No. It's somewhere much, much more special.~"

-"You're not my Daddy!" His heart literally snaps in half hearing that. It's actually rather funny watching the literally child, much bigger than the cookie who was trying to dote over him pout arms crossed and not paying attention to the cookie floating next to him. "What?! Of COURSE I am-" "No you're not!" The child still didn't look at him. "My Daddy is smart and nice and helps people! And he's really pretty with sparkles in his hair! You're just a mean jerk who kidnapped us and made Mama cry! You're a bad cookie!" "If it's the Fount form you miss-" He zipped in front of the angry child who glared at him as if he was a fly buzzing in his face."-then I can do WAY better." "You tricked me! I don't like liars! Lying is bad! YOU'RE BAD!" With that the child stood up and went to walk out the door into this chaotic half formed earthbread dimension to find his mother!

-"Hey! Young man! You get back here this instant or you're grounded!" "My daddy says I'm not allowed to talk to strangers!" Still despite his ache the cookie followed after him as he insisted to walk around this GIANT home he build just for them (took a while too. And a LOT of magic and breaks in between those bursts of giant magic). "Oh come on. You don't mean that. Look at all the cool and fun things I can do-" He stopped. Froze is more like it when the child snapped at him, but instead of angry this time there was tears in his eyes. "I want MY Daddy...You don't know how to read stories right or do the voices he can! You don't even hug right!" The tears really rolled now as he began crying. "I wanna go hoooome."

-It's usually hard to make him feel like the bad guy, but in moments like these...Oh YEAH. He could hear his old self laughing at his misery before slapping him upside the head. "You idiot! Great going! You hurt the kid!" Turns out he COULDN'T buy the kid's affection with toys, candy, and anything else a child would want. Not that the could would trust him after he walked hearing the fight that ensued between him and the Fount he used to be shooting the lesser him into an empty mop bucket before snatching up the clawing witch splashed with the shrink potion he borrowed from the cabinets-

-"I GOT YOU!!" A large witch hat was slammed over the other cookie and his mother as lesser him struggled to climb out of the bucket with his small height but cheered on his child. "Good work! Don't let him get away! Be careful not to let him go until I get there!" The child peeled up one side of the hat up before shoving his hand inside to grab around for the cookie and his tiny mother..."Huh?" He ended up pulling the hat up, shaking it, and then looking inside confused to find no cookie or tiny witch. "Where'd they go!?" He looked around but the only cookie he spotted was his father comically dangling himself over the side of the bucket trying not to directly drop himself down.

-No one got to answer him until suddenly by some magical force yoinked him up with a loud squeaky squeal. "NO!" the Fount fell from the bucket painfully landing on his back but flipped himself around and gazing up to find the child witch flailing himself in the air and a portal large enough for a six year old to fit through next to him, a head poking out. "Can't forget the most important part!" "PUT MY SON DOWN!!" The Fount demanded looking panicked, enraged, and very, very scared. "LEAVE HIM ALONE!! GIVE ME BACK MY WIFE!!" "Daddy, help! I can't get down!" No matter how much flailing he did, he couldn't reach the floor. Turns out he had just enough magic in this new form to pick up a child witch..but otherwise he was completely immune to Shadow Milk Cookie even as a child. "I don't know who you think you are, but you leave my child out of this!" "Don't worry. My child will be just fine. I think I know what's best after all." The child shrieked and honestly put up a good fight latching onto the side of the portal, almost got away too, but eventually he was able to wriggle him in.

-In hindsight he probably shouldn't have been surprised when the first thing she did was literally punt him across the room, snatch up her child, and ran pretty fast once the shrinking potion wore off. THAT might've been the most painful headache he's ever gotten. But one good thing about them being huge was that even if they all the way on the other side of this dystopian Earthbread, they were easy to spot! Unfortunately there wasn't any way he was going to win someone who constantly tried to hit him with a magical sly swatter over very easily.

-"What did you do to him now?!" He turned and almost didn't dodge a swat from a giant hand as a glaring human picked up her crying child death glaring him. "My beloved.~ My giant gumdrop.~ My pookie bear.~ Junior was just feeling down so I-" "That's not his name! He has a name his father gave him! Maybe if you use it instead of that stupid 'Junior' nonsense trying to erase it, he wouldn't cry so much!" "I want Daaaaaddyyyyyy." The child cried in her arms. "I know, Baby." She gave another sharp glare at the sweating cookie. "WE are going home one way or another! Even if I have to zap the little powers from your thick head!" And with that the Witch turned around and stormed off, loud footsteps following her. ...Oh. This wasn't good progress. Hmmmmmm. AH HAH! And an idea popped into his head.

-"OH, JU- I MEAN (Insert Son's Name Here)!~" "GO AWAY!!" The child didn't even look up from where he laid. "Oh. But I traveled all the way just to see you again." "I don't care! I don't want any presents from you!" "Is that any way to speak to your father, Young Witch." One loud sniffle sounded as he paused with the different shift in tone. Slightly grumpy and tired, authoritive. "Now you sit up and look at me this instant!" A little(giant to him) head snapped around, eyes pink from crying. But he perked up instantly. "DADDY!!" The Fount stood there, or the outer image of that ridiculous utter snorefest. But it worked good enough for the happy child seeing the familar robes and sparkly haired cookie with the bags constantly under his eyes. He pointed. "That's more like it! You know to look at me when I'm talking to you. Respect your elders."

-Witches he felt grouchy just talking like the know-it-all good-two-shoes he used to be. But it was worth it when big hands gently scooped him up and held him. "I missed you!" "I know. I missed you too." He patted his cheek. "Aw. Were you crying? It's ok now. Daddy's here." "I wanna go home. I don't like it here. It's all grey and scary." "I know...but I don't know how to get back either. But don't worry! I figured out how to make things better here! It's just going to take a little time. Ok?" The child instantly nodded feeling better his Daddy was here now...and he wasn't wrong. He just to ease him from the Fount to his more awesome, better godly form!

-The door opened. "Baby, I brought you a snack-" The larger witch paused seeing the child holding the 'Fount'. "Mama, look!" He held up the cookie to his mother. "Daddy, found us!" The woman stared blankly at him for a second before a glare and strained smile appeared on her face making him gulp. "That's great, Honey. I want you to take this snack and go play for a moment. Mama, needs to have a little word with 'Daddy' in private." ...Uh oh-