Man-Made Horror

In the above instance the nerves of my hand/wrist were compressed by bites. In general, avoid joints and their associated tendons and ligaments, because that is where nerves are easiest to compress + damaged ligamenture really hurts and is easy to fuck up itself, too, with too-aggrssive biting in the wrong area.

Shoulders are usually meaty enough to take it without nerve compression, but you should still be careful around the connective tissues there. Do not bite the back of the leg at, just above, or just below the knee, I give 3 inches on either side for safety. Do not bite the wrist or within 3 inches of it. Do not bite the elbow, when you bite the forearm try to have it offset from the visible vascular structures that run through your elbow (bite to the side). Remember that your teeth are sharp and your jaw is powerful and if you tried, you could kill someone with them.

if you have a harder session, tend to your subs bruises, scratches, and marks. put ice on bruises and welts to help with inflammation and pain.

if you do bondage, take care of rope burn and help them do some stretches. their body is going to be stiff from being restricted in one position for a long time. also a heating pad can help with sore muscles.

if they have any cuts or are bleeding, dress their wounds properly. make sure to put on antibiotic ointment on before a bandage.

if they have burns for whatever reason, put ice and ointment on those to help them heal.

make sure they pee after sex to help prevent a UTI. their legs may be shaky so help them get to the bathroom if needed.

give them advil or some other pain med to help with any aching or discomfort.

make sure they drink water. they need it and i cant stress how important this is. also give them some food even if its just a little snack.

give them verbal assurance and praise. tell them they did good and that youre proud of them.

still run a bath, get them cleaned up, give them kisses, cuddle them, etc but dont forget about the rest of aftercare, its so important. take care of your subs and always remember consent, communication, and safety are key.

also give your doms aftercare and affection too, theyre people with emotions and need it

I prefer to do my own post-rope aftercare. I have my own stretching routine and I know what my body needs better than my rigger.

DO always prompt a sub/bottom to do these things, but DONT be offended or upset if they tell you they can do it themselves.

Do not put ice on burns. Run cool but not cold water on them. Do not use ice, as it can cause further damage to the tissues and cause a slower healing process. A cool compress used in 5 to 15 minute intervals can help reduce swelling and pain. Ice will decrease the blood flow to the wound and reverse the healing process, not to mention can even cause frostnip or frostbite if applied incorrectly. If you ever have scenes that you know will cause any kind of wound, please do research beforehand on how to properly address that wound.

Minor cuts and scrapes don’t need antibiotic ointment. Soap and water and a clean bandage will do the trick. Overuse of antibiotic ointment can cause it to become less effective over time, which can be bad if there is a more serious wound that has a higher risk of infection. Every time you change bandages, wash the wounds again with antibacterial soap and water. Don’t use scented hand soaps. Antibacterial soap. Additionally, if using weapons for any kind of play, wash them thoroughly before and after every single scene. Keep them in a clean and dry place, always. I suggest using medical grade alcohol (91% isopropyl alcohol) but I’m not a weapons expert, so if anyone has better advice on keeping weapons clean feel free to add your thoughts.

Use a cold compress on swelling and bruises. Cold compresses and icing bruises and swelling will help reduce swelling but please make sure you have a barrier between the ice (or a bag of frozen veggies if you don’t have access to ice packs or an ice maker) and your bare skin. A hand towel or shirt wrapped around it is fine.

Never use a heating pad on bare skin. Especially on higher settings. They can and will burn you.

Do not use cooling muscle relief items and a heating pad at the same time. If you use bengay or icyhot or some other type of cooling muscle relief ointment, don’t use a heating pad on the same area, you can cause what is essentially a chemical burn and it will hurt a lot.

If you have cuts that bleed, use non-stick gauze pads between the gauze wrap or bandage. If you try to apply regular gauze to a bleeding cut, every time you unwrap the wound it will pull the scab off and you will bleed again, slowing the healing process. Non stick gauze pads are not foolproof but they are less likely to cause that to happen. That being said, try not to pick or pull at scabs. You need those to heal. They will likely be itchy for a while, but once your body doesn’t need them they will fall off on their own. Additionally, you only need to keep a wound wrapped until it stops bleeding. Open air can help wounds heal faster. The same goes for burns and scrapes or welts. Open air lets the wound/skin around the wound breathe. Your skin is an organ too, and needs airflow to properly heal.

If you happen to bite your partner and it draws blood/breaks skin, they need to be up to date on all shots and the wound must be very carefully addressed and disinfected immediately after the scene. This level of attention does depend on severity of the bite, but human mouths are extremely full of bacteria. It’s less harmful to be bitten by a dog than it is to be bitten by a human. (TW on this link, the first image right as the page loads is a human bite on an arm that appears to be a child. It’s not gory or bloody but it is a bit ragged)

Make sure you research pain medicine and how it interacts with other substances. If you do intox play at all, proceed with caution with any kind of medication. THC and alcohol will increase the effects of pain medicine, and taking too much can cause hypotension (low blood pressure). Pain medicine, THC, and alcohol will also cause your blood to be thinner, so you will bleed more for minor cuts. If you use knife play or cause wounds that bleed during a scene, be very careful when mixing that with intox play. Ibuprofen (especially coated tablets) can be harmful to your liver in larger doses over extended periods of time. Tylenol is often a safer choice if you have pre-existing liver issues. Research the type of pain meds that are best for your health conditions. Some gastrointestinal disorders may have adverse reactions to certain pain meds and can cause flares as well. Excedrin (migraine medicine) often has caffeine so if you are sensitive to caffeine I advise against using it. Anti-nausea or medicine to help with dizziness (like Dramamine) will often have adverse effects to alcohol and THC. They WILL make you drowsy. Also, not all pain meds are the same. Ibuprofen, Tylenol, Advil, and Excedrin are all different and do different things and have different effects on different people. Do your research.

Along with plenty of water, juice or gatorade (not zero gatorade, full sugar gatorade) is another good choice in aftercare. Your body’s blood sugar can often drop during scenes and having a bit of sugar and electrolytes will help with recovery. Trust me when I say you don’t want to have a blood sugar drop, it is not fun or comfortable and can be dangerous, especially if diabetic. Sip water and juice/gatorade slowly, do not chug, no matter how thirsty you are.

During a scene, water breaks should happen and I’m not kidding. Especially if you are AFAB and can orgasm multiple times, you can and likely will get very lightheaded and become dehydrated quickly. It won’t “break the vibe” or ruin the scene if you have a water break between orgasms. You can even put it into your dynamic and work it into the scene. But doms, never deny your sub water and do not make them work for it if they need it. Dehydration can seriously harm someone and it’s not worth it to take things so far that your sub cannot function.

Lastly, if you are extremely dehydrated or you have a blood sugar drop that you cannot recover from relatively easily, or your blood pressure drops/raises to an extreme level, that is a medical emergency and you MUST seek medical attention. Do not be embarrassed to go to the hospital for that. Doctors and nurses have seen it all and this will not be the worst thing they have seen in their careers. Trust me.

Aftercare for doms.

Now, there’s a lot of aftercare information here for subs, but doms need aftercare too, and I’m going to suggest some more ideas, especially if the dom themselves doesn’t have wounds. Being a dom is emotionally and physically taxing. If you are a good dom, you will be acutely aware of your sub’s needs and mental state the entire time, which can often cause a lot of mental exhaustion. Here are some ways doms can do aftercare, and how subs can help with that:

Snuggles and affirmations are very good, of course. Being told that you did well as a dom feels really good, being told that you were successful feels nice. Being told all of the things that you enjoyed about the encounter in detail can also help doms know what you liked best about a scene so they can implement those things more later. If something wasn’t to your liking, voice it kindly. Tell your dom what you’d rather have happen. Our subs and us (we are a DID system) often implement a system called “thorns and roses” in which thorns are things that didn’t go as well and roses are things you enjoyed. Doms should communicate their own thorns and roses too. What did they like about the encounter? What would they change about it? Doms are not sex machines to serve the subs, and they are allowed to ask for changes to make the encounter better for them too.

Watching a favorite movie, TV show, or youtube series or listening to a music playlist made together to wind down after caring for wounds and getting rehydrated. (Doms, you also need to rehydrate with water and juice/gatorade) Being able to enjoy something together can be a lovely way to connect after exerting so much energy into an intimate or kinky encounter.

Preparing food or having snacks at the ready. Sweets or favorite foods shared together can be nice. Hot beverages on colder days and cooler/refreshing beverages on hotter days can bring a lot of comfort and relief.

Doms can have calming baths too. Taking a bath together may even be a nice form of intimacy to help wind down. Use epsom salts to help soothe muscle aches, just make sure if you have sensitive skin to use unscented products and rinse out your tub afterwards.

Last but not least, and especially for my sexual trauma folks, it’s okay to cry or be upset after a scene even if it went completely perfectly. It’s okay to not want to be touched afterwards. It’s okay to feel gross afterwards. It’s okay to need some time to yourself afterwards. It’s okay to struggle or dissociate afterwards. You aren’t broken, you aren’t a bad person, and sex can be really hard if you have that kind of history. I’m proud of you for working through it and remember to be kind to yourself. This is for both doms and subs. You aren’t a bad person if you need to be alone for a while after a scene. Just remember that you don’t have to be, and if you don’t feel safe expressing discomfort or pain to your dom or sub then you need to reevaluate your situation and consider that this dynamic may not be healthy for you. Being able to express when you are having emotional pain without being afraid of repercussions is required for a healthy dynamic.

Additionally, even if you have the most vanilla sex of all vanilla sex, aftercare is still a requirement. Even if you don’t have wounds to address, comfort and care after a sexual encounter is required and should not be skipped.

A PM from a Follower, abstracted in the interests of privacy … “Awhile back you mentioned in passing a Dom shutting down a scene if it got too intense for the sub to be able to use her safe word responsibly. What are the symptoms, so I can watch out for it and be aware?”

This is a great question. First, respect to you for wanting to understand and keep your girl safe. Here’s the thing: we hear all this stuff about “the sub is safe, because she always has her safeword.” And that is true, as far as it goes. But what happens when, in the intense heat of a scene, the submissive has lost the power of rational volition? That sounds fairly nebulous, and probably useless, so let me break it down to some characteristic external markers that I’ve encountered over the years …

Loss of rational speech. Is her speech mumbled, incoherent, and “off-topic”? You need to shut that shit down.

Irrational demands for “more, harder.” If you’ve pushed her to (and possibly a bit beyond) her previous limits and to a place that you know is beyond her tolerance (for pain, intensity, etc) and yet she continues to moan “more …. harder …” then she has dropped too deep into sub space to be a rational player in the scene, and you need to shut that shit down.

“What is your name?” If you think she’s slipped away, ask her “What is your name?” I once had to ask a girl her name three times before I got a mumbled response. If she can’t answer immediately and coherently,  you need to shut that shit down.

Safeword. Above all else, if you ask “What is your safeword?” and she does not immediately respond crisply and coherently with her safeword, you need to shut that shit down at once.

Now, what do you do to bring her back? Hydration, a damp towel, under the covers, and a lot of cuddles and aftercare while talking to her softly and letting her know you’re there and all is well.

here, come here, lay down on this iron table. i know it doesn’t look like any regular table, but i assure you i know what i’m doing. there you go, good job. i know you want to curl up so bad, but i’m going to need to restrain your arms and legs spread apart. you’ll warm up soon, though, i promise. trust me.

see? you’re already warming up, isn’t that so nice? what’s that? it’s starting to hurt? it’s suppose to be hot, there’s a fire under there to keep you warm. you can arch your back off it all you want, it won’t do you any good. i’m going to make sure you get nice and toasty before i let you go.