Manic Pixie Dead Girl

oml i nearly got jumpscared with 32 i had to flip the page (click 'next') bc for a moment i was like KATHY?

but no. Rashmi pov. hello Rashmi. praying for your sanity because ohhhh my God did 32 genuinely eviscerate the fuck outta meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee "Even when she’s not dressed up as one, Kathy looks like a sad, wet cat. Headband askew, makeup smudged, mascara running—she makes for an exceptionally pathetic sight after her altercation with Ru. Kathy stares at the floor for a long time before finally speaking up." lmfaoooooooooooooooooo sorry. *coughs* sorry. sorry. serious analysis time. I do think part of the reason Kathy's escalation shook me deeply is because she is a sympathetic character. I really feel for weird girlies. So when the weird girlies backstab with racism, it....hurts. Even if she's a fictional weird girlie. Here I feel like we can see that like -- Rashmi does afford Kathy a level of humanity/sympathy here. Like. Kathy is not some overbearing monstrous freak or whatever, she's a human woman. And she looks like a sad little wet kitty. But that's -- I mean, that's the thing, isn't it? People who do bad things aren't monsters. They're human. Sometimes, they're even sad little wet kitties. "“I suppose we ought to. It is only right that my actions have consequences, and accountability on my part will be far easier to implement in collaboration.”" remember when caitrtot was like "i'm worried about kashmi" and i was like well i don't think kathy is treating rashmi like a mommy figure? good times, good times -- xisters I was duped. Kathy what the fuck lmao. "accountability on my parent will be far easier to implement in collaboration" she is not your judge jury let alone executioner you attacked her fiancee. kathy. she is not your keeper. "I stare at her. Her words make something snap into place for me. When I saw what was happening, I laser-focused on de-escalating and getting her away from Ru. I didn’t have time to think about my own feelings, about seeing her scream at my future wife, and especially about the words she was screaming. But now that she speaks—collaboration? Is she fucking serious?" tbh this was what I was thinking about. Given Rashmi's background and how she reacts to things, it makes sense she went into shutting down her feelings mode, and attempting to calm down the situation and fix it. But now that everything's not in crisis anymore, and she has been having character development towards facing things head on / being in touch with her feelings....yeah. Yeah. God, especially after all the shit with Mona. "“Why don’t you start by explaining what the hell just happened, Kathy?”" Thank you. "I cut her off with a glare. “You attacked her. And now I’m standing here with soda all over me, listening to you call it a lapse of judgment.”" Genuinely yeah this is like a youtuber apology type pull where you're like "I made a lapse of judgement." Kathy do not pull out the ukelele plz. "Kathy drops her gaze. “I did not intend for this to happen, but I recognize that my actions and intent did not align, and for that I am deeply sorry, Rashmi. Please believe me.”" bbgirl I'm not rashmi but I read the inside of your head last chapter. I know your ass is not telling the truth about this one I know you were filled with the seething hatred of a thousand suns. "I wanted Rupali to understand why Nichole and I must be together, but she simply refused to listen, and—”" girl. "“Is Ru the one who refused to listen, Kathy? Is Ru the one who ignored multiple people around her about the massive fucking mistake she was making? I know my fiancée pretty well, Katherine. That doesn’t sound like her.”" I'm gonna be real ducks if my friend got back together with her abusive ex because I couldn't tell her I would break off my family enforced arranged marriage to marry her specifically and then she decided to scream and throw orange soda at my fiancee I too would be like hey what the fuck. "Kathy refuses to look me in the eye. “Please don’t yell at me.”

A bark of bitter laughter escapes my lips before I can stop it. “Yelling, huh? Alright. I’m through wasting my time.”

I turn my back on her, fully done with her histrionics." *doing a dance* microaggression city, kathy calling it yelling is microaggression city This is actually for real character development for Rashmi because she isn't keeling over at being told she's "yelling" she's standing her ground. Which like. Incredibly based of her because Kathy did just scream at her fiancee and throw orange soda. So like. Rashmi not wanting to comfort Kathy, no matter how wet pathetic Kathy is? More than understandable. Like. Kathy is not Owed sympathy by Rashmi here. Unfortunately Kathy did nuke this one chat. "I can walk away from her, from this, from her endless, incomprehensible bullshit.

I stay put. Slowly, I turn back to face her.

“Rashmi.” That’s all Katherine says, eyes shimmering. 

“I’m not yelling at you.” I take a long, shuddering breath. “I’m pissed off at you, beyond belief, but Kathy? I am going to need you to recognize, at least a little bit, that I’m exercising incredible restraint here. I’m with you, in this hallway, instead of taking care of my actual fiancée, because you can’t seem to handle yourself for a week without something you do turning into my problem. And I can’t seem to stop myself from stepping in your messes, over and over and over again, when I’d be fully justified in telling you to fuck off forever. So please get your head out of your ass and do not take my patience for granted right now.”" Rashmi has an incredibly kind heart for this one. Like, again: Kathy betrayed Rashmi during the Nichole Intervention, went "Noooo I'm getting together with my abusive ex no matter what she did to Rupali or to me lololol, you being my gf isn't enough you wouldn't marry me," and then hatecrimed Rupali as a treat. Like. Rashmi doesn't have to extend grace to Kathy here. Rashmi doesn't have to hear Kathy out. Rashmi is currently covered in orange soda because Kathy chucked it at Rupali. Rashmi is being incredibly kind to someone who for most of their time together treated Rashmi like an unpaid maid and then had the audacity to crash out about "wahhhh Rashmi and Nichole used to make fun of me according to Rashmi's apology Rashmi is Untrustworthy (but Nichole my precious white baby is the one who needs me)" like...........................................................Rashmi is very, very kind. Especially after she got to experience one more microaggression for the road, i.e. being told she's "yelling." Goddamn. Genuinely Kathy just say sorry and offer to go home and like remove yourself from her life entirely. Please. "Kathy nods. “Okay. You’re right. It’s not right that you’re burdened with—you do keep helping me. I know you don’t have to. I’ll do better.”

“Cool. I don’t believe you.” I finally pull my wrist out of her hand, and she has the good sense to appear chastened. “I’m glad you said it, but I’m having a hard time believing it’s going to translate into anything meaningful.”" I Mean Yeah. Again I see no misses here like. Kathy screamed at her fiancee and threw shit at her. Kathy has not been kind to Rashmi. Doing chores was the bare minimum of reciprocity. It could've gone better....if Kathy hadn't decided she needed to retvrn to Nichole and that she could lash out on racialized women to cope. "“Ah.” Kathy seems like she’s going to cry, and I’m surprised at how little that moves me." She did just hatecrime your fiancee as a little treat it's completely understandable.

"“So it has come to this. Even you have lost faith in me. Then it must truly be the case that there is no hope that I can ever do better.”" I Am Going To Hit You With Toy Plastic Hammers From A Toddler's Playset. I think this is what gets me because like....sometimes when people are abusive, right, like, this is the shit that they pull. I mean, if you've been online, you've probably had that terrible friend who you were expected to single handedly bear the mental health load of. Which -- to be extremely clear -- people who have mental illness will show symptoms. That much is true. Sometimes people will crash out, or lash out, or need support, or need you to communicate in a certain way in order to meet them half way -- you can't expect the person with the disorder to never display symptoms of the disorder. That would be unfair. But it's like......there are relationships where all of a sudden You, Personally, become responsible for managing someone's emotions. This happens offline too, I mean -- it happens when children are parentified and expected to be mummy and daddy's therapist, it happens in DV situations where one partner is expected to "manage" the other partner, so on and so forth. And it's like -- and I don't know if I see this talked about a lot -- it's usually not a case of 'mentally ill' vs 'mentally healthy.' Usually it's two mentally ill people, but one of them is expected by the other one to be Completely Mentally Stable And Bear The Emotional Processing Load. And like, in many cases, there's some marginalization factor here that clues you in on who is societally expected to bear the burden emotionally -- children are expected to bear the burden of their parents, wives of their husbands, and here you have like....Rashmi, a WOC, expected to hold space for Kathy, who is a white woman. A white woman who hatecrimed Rashmi's fiancee. Kathy puts the burden of "meteing out consequences" onto Rashmi, and then tone polices her, and now....this. Like, "there is no hope that I can ever do better," puts the burden on Rashmi to emotionally comfort Kathy. It's like if you've ever had someone pull the "if you do X / don't do Y, I'm gonna backflip off a bridge!!!" It immediately corners you emotionally into this conversation where you are pressured to feel like you have to comfort the other person, even if that person is the one who hurt you/the people you care about. Like, the expectation on Rashmi here is that Rashmi will comfort her and hold her hand and tell her what a good girl she is deep down and that Rashmi knew her true heart all along and that's, like, bullshit. That's just total bullshit. It's emotional manipulation. It's weaponized self degradation. If you truly care about getting better, you have to believe in yourself and like, commit to doing better. Unfortunately, as much as we'd all like to not fuck up, we have to live with the fact that we can and do, and we have to move forward. Because like....there's no other option. TLDR yeah kathy is being on some absolute bullshit here where she's emotionally cornering rashmi into making rashmi feeling like she has to comfort kathy when kathy did hatecrimes as a treat and tbh with you it pisses me off even more because like, I remember kathy's anime monologue about how disloyal rashmi is, like, girl you treat rashmi like dogshit in your own head. Kathy, get a grip. You are not mummy's little girl anymore. "I tilt my head to the side. My hands shake. “With that attitude? Yes." which is why I think Rashmi is fair to say this. Because it's extremely unfair for the burden to be placed on Rashmi to 'reform' Kathy. Like, that's what Kathy is doing right now. She's centering her feelings, her guilt, her fear of abandonment, despite the fact that she attacked a woman moments prior. It's not fair.

oml i nearly got jumpscared with 32 i had to flip the page (click 'next') bc for a moment i was like KATHY?

but no. Rashmi pov. hello Rashmi. praying for your sanity because ohhhh my God did 32 genuinely eviscerate the fuck outta meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee "Even when she’s not dressed up as one, Kathy looks like a sad, wet cat. Headband askew, makeup smudged, mascara running—she makes for an exceptionally pathetic sight after her altercation with Ru. Kathy stares at the floor for a long time before finally speaking up." lmfaoooooooooooooooooo sorry. *coughs* sorry. sorry. serious analysis time. I do think part of the reason Kathy's escalation shook me deeply is because she is a sympathetic character. I really feel for weird girlies. So when the weird girlies backstab with racism, it....hurts. Even if she's a fictional weird girlie. Here I feel like we can see that like -- Rashmi does afford Kathy a level of humanity/sympathy here. Like. Kathy is not some overbearing monstrous freak or whatever, she's a human woman. And she looks like a sad little wet kitty. But that's -- I mean, that's the thing, isn't it? People who do bad things aren't monsters. They're human. Sometimes, they're even sad little wet kitties. "“I suppose we ought to. It is only right that my actions have consequences, and accountability on my part will be far easier to implement in collaboration.”" remember when caitrtot was like "i'm worried about kashmi" and i was like well i don't think kathy is treating rashmi like a mommy figure? good times, good times -- xisters I was duped. Kathy what the fuck lmao. "accountability on my parent will be far easier to implement in collaboration" she is not your judge jury let alone executioner you attacked her fiancee. kathy. she is not your keeper. "I stare at her. Her words make something snap into place for me. When I saw what was happening, I laser-focused on de-escalating and getting her away from Ru. I didn’t have time to think about my own feelings, about seeing her scream at my future wife, and especially about the words she was screaming. But now that she speaks—collaboration? Is she fucking serious?" tbh this was what I was thinking about. Given Rashmi's background and how she reacts to things, it makes sense she went into shutting down her feelings mode, and attempting to calm down the situation and fix it. But now that everything's not in crisis anymore, and she has been having character development towards facing things head on / being in touch with her feelings....yeah. Yeah. God, especially after all the shit with Mona. "“Why don’t you start by explaining what the hell just happened, Kathy?”" Thank you. "I cut her off with a glare. “You attacked her. And now I’m standing here with soda all over me, listening to you call it a lapse of judgment.”" Genuinely yeah this is like a youtuber apology type pull where you're like "I made a lapse of judgement." Kathy do not pull out the ukelele plz. "Kathy drops her gaze. “I did not intend for this to happen, but I recognize that my actions and intent did not align, and for that I am deeply sorry, Rashmi. Please believe me.”" bbgirl I'm not rashmi but I read the inside of your head last chapter. I know your ass is not telling the truth about this one I know you were filled with the seething hatred of a thousand suns. "I wanted Rupali to understand why Nichole and I must be together, but she simply refused to listen, and—”" girl. "“Is Ru the one who refused to listen, Kathy? Is Ru the one who ignored multiple people around her about the massive fucking mistake she was making? I know my fiancée pretty well, Katherine. That doesn’t sound like her.”" I'm gonna be real ducks if my friend got back together with her abusive ex because I couldn't tell her I would break off my family enforced arranged marriage to marry her specifically and then she decided to scream and throw orange soda at my fiancee I too would be like hey what the fuck. "Kathy refuses to look me in the eye. “Please don’t yell at me.”

A bark of bitter laughter escapes my lips before I can stop it. “Yelling, huh? Alright. I’m through wasting my time.”

I turn my back on her, fully done with her histrionics." *doing a dance* microaggression city, kathy calling it yelling is microaggression city This is actually for real character development for Rashmi because she isn't keeling over at being told she's "yelling" she's standing her ground. Which like. Incredibly based of her because Kathy did just scream at her fiancee and throw orange soda. So like. Rashmi not wanting to comfort Kathy, no matter how wet pathetic Kathy is? More than understandable. Like. Kathy is not Owed sympathy by Rashmi here. Unfortunately Kathy did nuke this one chat. "I can walk away from her, from this, from her endless, incomprehensible bullshit.

I stay put. Slowly, I turn back to face her.

“Rashmi.” That’s all Katherine says, eyes shimmering. 

“I’m not yelling at you.” I take a long, shuddering breath. “I’m pissed off at you, beyond belief, but Kathy? I am going to need you to recognize, at least a little bit, that I’m exercising incredible restraint here. I’m with you, in this hallway, instead of taking care of my actual fiancée, because you can’t seem to handle yourself for a week without something you do turning into my problem. And I can’t seem to stop myself from stepping in your messes, over and over and over again, when I’d be fully justified in telling you to fuck off forever. So please get your head out of your ass and do not take my patience for granted right now.”" Rashmi has an incredibly kind heart for this one. Like, again: Kathy betrayed Rashmi during the Nichole Intervention, went "Noooo I'm getting together with my abusive ex no matter what she did to Rupali or to me lololol, you being my gf isn't enough you wouldn't marry me," and then hatecrimed Rupali as a treat. Like. Rashmi doesn't have to extend grace to Kathy here. Rashmi doesn't have to hear Kathy out. Rashmi is currently covered in orange soda because Kathy chucked it at Rupali. Rashmi is being incredibly kind to someone who for most of their time together treated Rashmi like an unpaid maid and then had the audacity to crash out about "wahhhh Rashmi and Nichole used to make fun of me according to Rashmi's apology Rashmi is Untrustworthy (but Nichole my precious white baby is the one who needs me)" like...........................................................Rashmi is very, very kind. Especially after she got to experience one more microaggression for the road, i.e. being told she's "yelling." Goddamn. Genuinely Kathy just say sorry and offer to go home and like remove yourself from her life entirely. Please. "Kathy nods. “Okay. You’re right. It’s not right that you’re burdened with—you do keep helping me. I know you don’t have to. I’ll do better.”

“Cool. I don’t believe you.” I finally pull my wrist out of her hand, and she has the good sense to appear chastened. “I’m glad you said it, but I’m having a hard time believing it’s going to translate into anything meaningful.”" I Mean Yeah. Again I see no misses here like. Kathy screamed at her fiancee and threw shit at her. Kathy has not been kind to Rashmi. Doing chores was the bare minimum of reciprocity. It could've gone better....if Kathy hadn't decided she needed to retvrn to Nichole and that she could lash out on racialized women to cope. "“Ah.” Kathy seems like she’s going to cry, and I’m surprised at how little that moves me." She did just hatecrime your fiancee as a little treat it's completely understandable.

"“So it has come to this. Even you have lost faith in me. Then it must truly be the case that there is no hope that I can ever do better.”" I Am Going To Hit You With Toy Plastic Hammers From A Toddler's Playset. I think this is what gets me because like....sometimes when people are abusive, right, like, this is the shit that they pull. I mean, if you've been online, you've probably had that terrible friend who you were expected to single handedly bear the mental health load of. Which -- to be extremely clear -- people who have mental illness will show symptoms. That much is true. Sometimes people will crash out, or lash out, or need support, or need you to communicate in a certain way in order to meet them half way -- you can't expect the person with the disorder to never display symptoms of the disorder. That would be unfair. But it's like......there are relationships where all of a sudden You, Personally, become responsible for managing someone's emotions. This happens offline too, I mean -- it happens when children are parentified and expected to be mummy and daddy's therapist, it happens in DV situations where one partner is expected to "manage" the other partner, so on and so forth. And it's like -- and I don't know if I see this talked about a lot -- it's usually not a case of 'mentally ill' vs 'mentally healthy.' Usually it's two mentally ill people, but one of them is expected by the other one to be Completely Mentally Stable And Bear The Emotional Processing Load. And like, in many cases, there's some marginalization factor here that clues you in on who is societally expected to bear the burden emotionally -- children are expected to bear the burden of their parents, wives of their husbands, and here you have like....Rashmi, a WOC, expected to hold space for Kathy, who is a white woman. A white woman who hatecrimed Rashmi's fiancee. Kathy puts the burden of "meteing out consequences" onto Rashmi, and then tone polices her, and now....this. Like, "there is no hope that I can ever do better," puts the burden on Rashmi to emotionally comfort Kathy. It's like if you've ever had someone pull the "if you do X / don't do Y, I'm gonna backflip off a bridge!!!" It immediately corners you emotionally into this conversation where you are pressured to feel like you have to comfort the other person, even if that person is the one who hurt you/the people you care about. Like, the expectation on Rashmi here is that Rashmi will comfort her and hold her hand and tell her what a good girl she is deep down and that Rashmi knew her true heart all along and that's, like, bullshit. That's just total bullshit. It's emotional manipulation. It's weaponized self degradation. If you truly care about getting better, you have to believe in yourself and like, commit to doing better. Unfortunately, as much as we'd all like to not fuck up, we have to live with the fact that we can and do, and we have to move forward. Because like....there's no other option. TLDR yeah kathy is being on some absolute bullshit here where she's emotionally cornering rashmi into making rashmi feeling like she has to comfort kathy when kathy did hatecrimes as a treat and tbh with you it pisses me off even more because like, I remember kathy's anime monologue about how disloyal rashmi is, like, girl you treat rashmi like dogshit in your own head. Kathy, get a grip. You are not mummy's little girl anymore. "I tilt my head to the side. My hands shake. “With that attitude? Yes." which is why I think Rashmi is fair to say this. Because it's extremely unfair for the burden to be placed on Rashmi to 'reform' Kathy. Like, that's what Kathy is doing right now. She's centering her feelings, her guilt, her fear of abandonment, despite the fact that she attacked a woman moments prior. It's not fair.