I know this sounds like the deranged ramblings of a senile old man but I swear it used to be possible to look up information on the internet

i wish we had gotten the later seasons of lockwood and co for many reasons, but a big one is that show!george deserves to know that if he ever got hurt his friends would go kill 4 senior citizens about it

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”

what

oh my god

well wooden shoe look at that

I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE 

Sometimes you get a brief glimpse into the American worldview and decide that you don't want to know.

I cannot stress enough that this meme is entirely literal. there's no reference or subtext you don't know. these are simply the objectively most popular works of art from each denomination.

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

I think one of the funniest things that book Ryland Grace does is continue to do excessive centrifugal force stuff with the ship after it almost killed him and he's just like "It's okay Rocky I'll just pass out. If anything else happens, you got this." And Rocky is never once a fan of that plan.

[ID: tags reading, "#rocky do heart surgery on me. rocky fly my ship if I pass out. Rocky I believe in you <3 #rocky would like it if grace beleived in rocky a little less. please." End ID]

literally what would we do without gif makers thank you gif makers THANK YOU GIFMAKERS i love nothing more than to watch a tiny moment of a scene loop over and over and over the world is so beautiful

it's a shame you can't Cool, Silent, and Mysterious your way to being very close to people. we are unfortunately going to have to embarrass ourselves for this

fortunately you can cool, loud, and weird your way into closeness

I have heard a variant on it that I really like: "You cannot hate yourself into someone you can love."