gay

hdjdjsjkk my mum works in retail and one of her coworkers is autistic & mostly doesnt talk unless he has to but yesterday he went out of his way to cross through the crowds of xmas shoppers and dodge a train of trolleys to go up to my mum, gesture to the crowds and say “michelle. i am losing the will to live”

Big ass mood

Billy Joel - Piano Man

I hate this site

I was pregnant and everyone was yelling at me and my boyfriend because of that, even though we repeatedly told people that we never did anything. I gave birth but when I looked at the blankets that they put my “baby” into, it was a stapler wrapped inside them. Yes, the kind that you have in an office. So we talked to the doctors and they said that this happened because I ate contaminated Doritos and that the same thing was happening to others around the world who were giving birth to different office supplies.

The Umbrella Academy (2019-)

i remember being like 11 and asking my dad why he hunts and kills deer and he said “because i think theyre beautiful” and that’s just. that’s just what men are like

Is killing different than endearing physical contact? Local man unsure

what a deal for the drama

honestly the only reason im not an old man is that i happen to have been born somewhat recently. other than that 

just wanna remind y'all that there was a character in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy who accidentally became immortal and decided to spend his eternity of suffering traveling through time and space to insult everyone in the universe, one by one, in alphabetical order, and if that’s not a hero idk what is

I keep going back to watch this video it just captures my sense of humour perfectly