SANS EN VUE

WHAT: CLOSED STARTER FOR: @unprcfound WHO: JAE & HANJAE

            “your dad told me to bring this to you,” jae says placing a container of food onto the counter. “– since you’re working the night shift, he still wants you to eat dinner.” the older says as he pushed the box closer to the younger male. furthermore going to push a hand through his hair. he had been on the way to pick up a few things for tomorrow when hanjae’s father stopped him and asked to do him a little favor. jae was planning on visiting his friend that night anyway so it worked out well. placing his chin in his hand he grinned, “working the night shift isn’t too fun huh?” he understood that sometimes hanjae had a difficult time speaking. difficult time doing most things. hell they were only a year apart, they had practically grown up together. but he always tried, to initiate a conversation. he’s gotten a lot better that was for sure. hearing a chim on the bell, jae glances over his shoulder watching as two males entered the connivence store. they were wearing sweatshirts, hood above their head, hands shoved deep in their pockets. licking his lips, jae continued to eye them for a minute before glancing back at his friend. offering him a kind smile, “you don’t have too much homework tonight right?” 

        hanjae looks defeatedly at his undone homework beneath the counter before shaking his head positively as though he didn’t have 7 pages of finely printed compact algebra problems to solve. his smile only falters slightly as he tries to engage himself with his job a little, keeping his eyes pinned on the two men now in the shop. it isn’t a very busy hour as all the customers who would pop in to quickly fill their fridges, or on the whim after school or work, were long back in their homes, feet up to watch an evening drama or do the next day’s homework in a rush. hanjae was glad to be where he was now, though there still was something in him that wished to have the same desire to return home.

   we can all confirm one thing; sejin’s good with faces. he’s never forgotten one, so he can most definitely recall one such as theirs, especially because it hasn’t been too long since they’ve seen each other. ❛ ah. i thought you had left the city, where’d you hid ? ❜ // @unprcfound

     he considers his recent whereabouts; infrequent checkups on the club, and conducting his obligatory work quickly and efficiently, not stopping too near any street lamp or head light. it’s true, he thinks, few eyes have found themselves on me for a little while now. 

              gentle moon’s glow adorns his features, painting him marble & gold : he turns his head with calculated poise, wicked eyes & a smile that could start a war, grecian tragedies perched upon his fingertips. he bites his lip with spurious innocence & averts his gaze, a pale strand falling across his forehead ( on purpose, of course : his artful dishevelment is endearing, or so he’s been told ).

                               ❛   ah, i certainly could do with a ride.

     ‘ i see. ’

source. @disthant

          the feeling that the blood rush to his head brings him is dizzying and pleasant — he can’t really differentiate between different types of dizziness though there apparently were, but any feeling that made his connection with the world blurred and made him feel less tethered was a good one. it isn’t that hard to achieve, though different methods result in different potentially unwanted side effects.

          after about ten minutes, he feels his legs become so numb they might just fall off and he isn’t quite sure if he’s ready to dismount or if he’s ready to faint and wake up in an expensive hospital room with his family surrounding him with concerned looks, gripping onto any loose fabric near their chests. as he assesses the situation he had left himself in, he realises that he may not have just been projecting his attention hungry desires into his fantasies but probably a likely outcome — the branch isn’t quite as low as it had seemed when he had mounted it and with his shirt and sweater fallen down over his face, he can’t really see where he might place his hands in an attempt to lower himself back down to steady ground.

            comfort is something he hadn’t had in months. well - not to this extent. of course hangyong would pat his shoulder occasionally, maybe even ruffle his hair - but never a hug. something the young boy desperately needed, but was too prideful to accept. he couldn’t appear weak he couldn’t be vulnerable. not durning a time like this. not when hangyong needed him to be strong - not when he needed to impress his hyung. 

               merely shaking his head at the statement. it wasn’t that he didn’t think he had the right - he just preferred not to. didn’t want to frighten the other, didn’t want to make a scene. didn’t want hangyong to be worried about him at all. no - not when he had to worry about himself. jae also didn’t want to ruin things with his nightmares, create more drama and fear. well aware that things could get worse than they had been when he sleeps. that he could scream and shout and maybe become a little violent as well. 

             despite how nice it feels to be in his arms, and despite the way his throat closes and he squeezes his eyes shut. he gently pulls away. despite the firm grip, jae pulls away completely and takes in a breath before letting it out slowly. “i don’t feel vulnerable, i’m fine hyung.” it comes out more with an attitude than intended. but maybe that’s better? “i just don’t like sleeping - its not big deal.” 

             it certainly was a big deal, but he wouldn’t allow it to be. “— anyway,” sighing this time he takes another deep breath. it was a good moment while it lasted, knowing that hangyong was alive compared to the state that he was in during his dream. “sit down and eat. you need to replenish your body and then get some rest so we can leave tomorrow and then i’m going to shower.” he takes a seat across from hangyong and waits until he takes the first bite. 

        quietly he complies and considers the boundaries he may have crossed. the response was not harsh but felt firm. but was it really a subject to let go so easily? maybe for now, but sooner or later it would need to be confronted again. like all important things, hangyong decided it best to leave it until it needed to be handled, not that he was sure anymore of what was reletively necessary in the scheme of things.  

        the meal felt substantial when he imagined he sat there eating jjajangmyeon opposite hanjae. he could smell the black bean sauce and he could see it smeared over his younger brothers’ sheepish smile. hangyong wiped his mouth - he liked to keep his dignity as he ate whereas hanjae always argued that keeping every bite so neat was a waste if time and that by the end if the meal, you would be cleaning up less in the long run. hangyong respected his choice to stand by the technique.

        a soft hum of laughter escaped his lips, though he was to entrapped to realise. he took another bite, looking ahead longingly.

a little too drunk; still accepting !

        sidao sniffs and wipes his dry nose on the back of his finger, looking to his sides briefly and then squatting down. it’s just the two of them there with the wind and the night.

        ‘ i don’t think i’ve grown much this evening alone but… ’ his eyes flicker to the moon and then back down ‘ angles can be deceiving. ’ he hums, perched in his squat and looking down at the man. his hand reaches out and straightens the hair on other’s forehead, tentative with his long, thin fingers.