Last night was horny as fuck. And mean. And lovely. And terrible. And… stuff. Day 17 of “denial”. It started off with my clit singing it’s song of sirens when I was doing the most mundane non sexual things in the world. It felt swollen and was swallowing up all attention it could get, without being touched.
Which was bad, but not as bad as the ruin that caused it, an hour or two before aching clit set in. A while back I bought a Satisfyer Pro (same as the more well known Womanizer). And. Well. At first I hated it. It took me some practise to place it right. Cause it has to be Just Right to do what it’s supposed to do. But now I know how to use it, I still hate it. xD There’s no enjoyment to be found in these things. None. There’s just off… and gutwrenching legclamping sheetgripping fear of going over. Those are the options. I mean. I would do anything to not have forced orgasms with this thing. Anyway, back to the ruin.
A good edge to me feels like, me body is reaching for that orgasm but fails. I literally visualise some sort of hand trying to grab hold of that pleasure during a good edging. Ruins though. Ruins are grabbing a hand full of sand or soap bubbles or whatever, feeling that pleasure slip away. Usually. But this one? Yesterday? I think it’s the difference between an abandoned orgasm and an actual ruin (which gets mentioned a lot more in the male edging world). But I edged, stopped with a violent ripping away of the toy, gasping and wide eyed… but my body. Just. Kept. Going. I could feel myself going over while not being stimulated at all. The spasms at nothing. It’s just so much more intense and frustrating and and and
Well anyway, that led to the horny clitty cat song, which led to drippy reading, which led to me teasing myself for like an hour. After which I decided it was a great idea to ask my fav sadist if I could have a cum without adhering to the agreed upon conditions cause, well, I was horny as fuck but apparently not enough. Him telling me “No” didn’t help one bit. But I’m so glad he did. Thank you ;)
Anyway, shortly after Sphinx said we should get some sleep. Soooo… just enough time for me to listen to some dirty hypno without touching anything to make it worse/better. After which I grabbed my vibe and was so lost in myself I didn’t even hear Sphinx come upstairs. And this is where it gets kinda tricky.
First thing I did as soon as layed down was grab his dick. Mine. Gimme. I just have no patience for teasing and build up in this state. Luckily, since he hasn’t cum in ages and wasn’t allowed to edge all day he was happy to oblige. So I sunk back in the mattress, vibe in one hand, dick in the other. Happily drifting off, as did he.
Actually, this is where it gets tricky. Somewhere along the way he got on his knees while I was staring and lusting after his dick, wanting to suck it sooo bad. No. Correction. Wanting to get facefucked right then and there. So he kissed me. Stuffed his thumb in my mouth and pushed on my tongue. Made me suck and lick it as I’m hitting the edge over and over with my hand around his dick.
Even worse, he started to use more fingers and was stretching my cheeks sideways… which just. Ugh. I don’t know. I just hit a whole new level of horny is all I can tell you. Somehow that feel of having my mouth prodded wide open is even better than pushing fingers deep inside. But he could do more with those hands. Like choking me. Gzzzbkurrhgaaahhhh how fucking horny can a thing be. Angels lamented my drippy terror, I swear. It wasn’t enough. He was being to careful. I was lusting for longer, more pressure, a wild rockhard edge as the breath flows back into me.
And after this whole ordeal. The whole thing from ruin till the last choke. As I’m making little cooing noises in between the moans to signal I want him to choke me more… He gently cups my jaw, turns my head and locks eyes. “What do you want? Hmm.. tell me.” And there is literally nothing I can do. I was no longer in a state to communicate with words. Him hovering over me, softly speaking to me, but with an intense stare I just wanted to escape as my eyes flutter while hitting another edge.
How? How could I even begin telling him what I want? In that state? How could I tell him I wanted him to hang my head over the edge of the bed and facefuck me till I cry? How could I tell him I wanted him to turn me over and fuck me anal with long deep hard thrusts. How could I tell him I wanted him to scoop me up and put me under a could shower just so I’d snap out of it? How could I tell him I wanted him to make me beg him to hurt me? How could I tell him I wanted something I need permission from my fav sadist for? How could I even choose? I couldn’t. I could not utter a single word. All the while driving myself crazy with all the things I could’ve said, all the things I wanted. Still edging.
Eventually he just took my vibe away. Which I didn’t even try to stop. He grabbed my hands and pulled me against his chest, telling me we should really get some sleep. I think I managed to get a “mmhm” out. And that was it. I don’t recall a time falling asleep as fast as I did last night.
So yeah… edgespace? I think so.
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