Miss Miffle

It’s been a little while and I want to go over the rules about permission again.

“Okay, but… did I make a mistake?”

No. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just want to make sure we go over this now and then so I know you understand and remember it completely.

“Okay. May I edge please?”

No. No touching right now.

“But-”

I said no.

“Okay.”

Now. What do you remember about how permission works?

“Um… I need your permission to touch and to cum.”

That’s true.

“And to use the bathroom or spend any money over twenty dollars, and-”

That’s all true, but that’s not what I’m talking about today.

“It’s not?”

No. I’m talking about the other kind of permission.

“The other…? Oh! Sir, no. I don’t like talking about that.”

I know you don’t. But it’s important.

“Sir, please. You have permission for everything always.”

No. That’s not how it works. Now that kind of talk only lets me know how important it is to go over this again.

“Nnnn… Sirrrrr…”

Take this seriously and we can get right back to regular things.

“Mh. Okay.”

Okay. So. We do a lot of play where I make you feel confused and forgetful right?

“Yes, Sir.”

Do I have your permission to play those kind of games with you?

“Yes, Sir. I want you to. I like feeling that way.”

Okay. And you know I won’t ever do anything really serious without having a talk like this with you first.

“Yes, but… um…”

What is it?

“What about my orgasms?”

What about them?

“When you took them away… I was really fuzzy from lots of edges and you got me all mixed up.”

Yes, I remember. You were a confused, drippy little mess.

“But, so that was okay because of the talk we had before?”

That’s right. We had a bunch of talks really. About how you wanted to give up cumming but you were scared. And we didn’t do it until you were sure, right?

“Mmhm.”

Hey, are you okay?

“Yes, Sir, I… I just kind of wish you didn’t keep reminding me. I like to think you just took them away when I was confused.”

I know. And we can play like that more, soon.”

“Okay.”

Do you remember what to do if you agree to something when you’re all confused and you’re not sure if you meant to?

“I tell you.”

You tell me what?

“I tell you that I need to talk about business.”

Good. If you tell me that, then I’ll know we need to have a talk like this one with no mind games or anything like that.

“Yes, Sir.”

Okay. And you remember your safe words?

“Yes, Sir.”

And you remember how important it is to use them if you need to?

“Yes, Sir. I remember.”

Okay. It’s very important to me because I can do some really mean stuff and I need to know you’ll use those words if it’s ever too much.

“I will. I promise.”

Good. You’ll never be in trouble for using them, and I know you’ll never do it unless you really need to.

“No, never.”

Good girl. Okay, one last thing. If you’re ever with someone after me, someone who doesn’t do this with you, in some way or another, or who talks about not believing in limits or not needing your consent. What do you do?

“I get away from him and find a better one.”

That’s right. There. That wasn’t so hard, was it?

“No, I guess not.”

Would you like to edge now?

“Oh, yes, please, Sir!”

On Consensual Gaslighting

Some of my stories contain a bit of mind games and gaslighting. After yesterday’s story, I thought I’d take just a minute to talk about consent, when it comes to these kinds of activities. Like any D/s activity, mind games can be a very nice thing if both parties are informed, consent, and enjoy it (understanding that enjoyment is a complex topic, particularly for submissives who may take much or all of theirs from how an activity pleases their Dominant). While I don’t claim to be an expert, I do have some thoughts on the matter. I think you need three things for this to work:

Initial Communication

Safe Word

Periodic Follow-up

You have to talk to each other before playing these kind of mind games, period. Not doing so means that you, as a dominant, don’t know for sure if she (or he) understands and consents to be played with in this way, and in this case it could be damaging and/or abusive.

A safe word just means some way for the submissive to communicate that all mind games must stop. I like the phrase “talking business” because it allows the games to continue with other kinds of protestations (much like you wouldn’t use “please stop” as a safe word in a CNC scene) but it doesn’t matter as long as it is clear to both sides, understood by the submissive that it must be used when needed, and strictly adhered to by the Dominant.

Follow-up discussions are also necessary, perhaps more so than other D/s activities. By their nature, mind games and gaslighting can be confusing and controlling. We want this to be good for everyone. It can be tempting to assume everything is fine if there are no complaints, but I believe the dominant has a greater responsibility, precisely because these games affect how the submissive thinks about things. Dominants - it is your responsibility to make sure she (or he) is okay and still wants to play the games, and to stop otherwise.

Again, I don’t claim to be an expert, but since I do include this in my writing, I want to make it clear that consent is no less vital when playing mind games and gaslighting than any other activity in a D/s relationship. My stories are a moment in time, and it can always be understood that the activities are informed and consensual.

Saturday Something

Let it go. Hands off.

“Oh, Sir… oh, God, I was so close. I really wanted it.”

I know. But it’s only been a couple of weeks since your last orgasm. I don’t know your next goal, but it’s probably not too soon, right?

“Actually… I wanted to ask. Could you help me with my goal? I want to try to go longer without cumming.”

I think that’s a really good idea, and I’ll help if I can, but I’m probably not the best help with goals. Let’s have another one. Right to the edge.

“Yes, Sir, but… if you can give me a goal, I promise I’ll do my best.”

It’s just… it’s not a good idea. I’m happy to help with the goals you make for yourself.

“But why can’t you give me a goal?”

Well I think I’m just a bit too greedy to help with that.

“That’s okay! Ungh… I want you to make it hard. I just think it would mean more if I’m doing it for you than for myself.”

No. I’m sorry but I don’t think so, little slut. Closer, please. I want hard edges.

“Oh… nnnnghh… but, why not?”

Well… there’s… a couple problems with it.

“What problems? A couple problems?”

It’s one with me and one with you. You really wanna know?

“Yes, please, Sir.”

Okay. First, I didn’t like how you said that if I give you a goal, you’ll do your best.

“Oh. But-”

If I give a girl a goal, I don’t expect her best, I expect obedience. Doing your best sounds nice, but really it means, “if it gets really tough I can get out of it, cause I tried my best.”

“No, Sir, that’s not what I meant when I said it.”

I’m not so sure.

“Can I… Ohh, nnnngh… can I try saying it another way?”

Sure.

“If you give me a goal, I won’t let anything get in the way of keeping your goal.”

Hmmm. That does sound better. You sound a little needy; are you close now?

“Yes, Sir. I’m really, really close.

Good girl.

“So… what’s the other problem? Is it about you being greedy?”

Yes, it is.

“But that’s okay. Even if it’s a long time, I just want your goal.”

It won’t be easy. I really don’t think you’re ready for that.

“Sir, please. Can you just tell me what it is?”

If I tell you, then you have to decide now if it’s what you want. I won’t ever offer it again.

“That’s okay. I know I’ll want it. Will you please tell me?”

Okay, if you’re sure.

“Yes, Sir, please, I am.”

My goal for you would be the same goal I think every girl should have. It comes in two parts. The first part is that you understand and agree that you need to have a last orgasm.

“A last one?”

Yes. One of your orgasms will be the last one. After that orgasm, you won’t ever cum again.

“Never?”

No, never. If you don’t think you could have a last orgasm then my goals and my control are really not for you.

“I think… I think maybe I do want that. It’s really scary though.”

I know. You know I’ve helped a lot of girls before, and for all of them we decided on a last orgasm.

“Wow. I really like that, Sir. I’ve only ever gone a month before, but I really like the idea that one of my orgasms is gonna be my last one.”

Well, maybe you are a little more ready than I thought.

“Yes, Sir, I am. Would I know which one would be last?”

Yes. That gets decided right away. Do you still want me to make a goal for you? Even knowing that goal will be for you to have a last orgasm?

“Yes, Sir, please! I do want it, very much.”

That’s good, but you should know the second part of my goal for you before you really say yes for sure.

“Nnnnghhh… okay, what is it?”

It’s the same goal I have for every girl - I want your last orgasm to be your last orgasm.

“Yes, Sir, of course. If you say it’s the last one, it’ll be the last one. I promise.”

No. You don’t understand. Your last orgasm ever. Your very last orgasm. My goal for you is for that orgasm to be the last one that you had.

“The last… the last one I already had?”

Yes.

“Oh… oh God. So already no more?”

That’s my goal for you. You see why I said you might not be ready?

“Yeah, Sir, but… oh, that’s really hard! How can I even know if I’m ready for that?”

In my experience, most girls are already ready to be done.

“They are?”

Yes. They just need a little help figuring it out.

“Oh, I’m so close, Sir.”

That could be as close as you ever get again.

“Oh, Sir. I think I want it, but I’m scared.”

I know. It’s a little bit scary, but it’s not so bad. You’ll still get to edge almost every day and stay really close and needy all the time. You know how needy you got after a month of just edging.

“Mmmm, yes, Sir.”

Imagine two months, or six. Imagine two years.

“Oh, God…”

I want to be really clear. It would be hard. Really hard. Every day as close as this, but never allowed to feel it.

Spread your legs just a little bit. Good girl. Now stay really still while I edge you okay?

“Nnnnghhh… Sir…”

Stay still.

“Sir, why can’t I move?”

Because I said so. I like how it looks. I can see it building up inside you even more when you’re still. Now be quiet and do a good job for me.

“Oh…”

You’re squirming. I said stay still.

“Sir, I’m trying…”

Try harder.

“I’m trying hard, Sir, really, but I haven’t touched for such a long time and you always make me so really, really close when you do it. It’s just so hard!

I know it’s hard.

“Sir, please…”

Do you want to cum?

“Sirrrr…”

Do you?

“Yes…”

Are you going to cum?

“No, Sir.”

‘Til when?

“Forever. I never get to cum.”

How come?

“Because you said so.”

Ohhh… Isn’t that hard?

“Yes, Sir. So hard.”

But you won’t ever cum, even though it’s so very hard?

“No, Sir, never. I don’t cum anymore.”

So it’s really hard, but you do it because I said so, is that right?

“Yes, Sir.”

Okay. Now that we’ve got that cleared up I don’t want to hear any more excuses. I’m going to edge you really, really hard and close now, and I want you very still, just like I said. I don’t want to see anything more than a tremble. Can you do that for me?

“I can tremble?”

Yes. And a little whimper here or there is okay, but only really little ones. Okay?

“O-okay, Sir.”

There’s my good girl. There she is. Oh look at this needy little girl.

“Nnn…”

Oh, you’ve got little goosebumps everywhere, don’t you. Oh, my needy, trembly little girl.

“Mmnn…”

“Oh…..”

Stay close.

“Ohhhh…”

Right on the edge.

“I’m so needy, Sir… please let me cum.”

No.

“Ohhhh, please?”

No.

“But, you… you said you’d help me!”

I am helping you. Edge harder.

“Sirrrr!”

Helping you is not the same as giving you what you want.

“But, Sir…”

Helping means giving you what you need.

“Sir, please…”

Do you need to cum?

“Sir, just one, please.”

Do you need to cum?

“I want to, please!”

Do you need to cum?

“Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn… no. No, Sir.”

Good girl. I’m really glad you remember.

“But, Sir, I want it sooooo bad!”

I know. I know how hard it is.

“Than can I? Please? Just one, please, Sir!”

No.

“Sirrrr! How is this helping?”

By saying no. If you could decide for yourself right now, would you cum?

“Sirrrrr…”

Would you?

“Maybe…”

Maybe?

“Okay, probably yes.”

Probably?

“Yes, Sir, I think I would.”

If it were your decision. So, that’s how I help you. I keep you good when you’re really close and it gets so hard.

“But, Sir, it’s sooo hard.”

Several months ago, I felt like I was drowning. I was on a steep learning curve at a new job where I felt completely lost, and I was rebuilding my personal life on several levels. Every little decision felt heavy. But I kept trudging through, hoping one day the struggle would end. 

In the midst of this, my Dominant gave me a daily task. It felt nearly impossible some days. I’d get my daughter in bed and think about the task. I’d watch the minutes tick away before bedtime and try to summon up the energy to complete it. Once I completed it, I felt better. Proud. Accomplished. Connected to him. But before doing it, all I could feel was the exhaustion. 

One night I asked permission to skip the task. My boss had completely scrapped my work product—a new experience for this perfectionist overachiever who was used to things coming easily. Suddenly, I felt incompetent. Then my daughter, sensing my stress, argued with me all night. It was all I could do to get her in bed before I collapsed in tears. 

So I asked permission to skip the task. And he said no. I was furious. I told him if he loved me, he wouldn’t make me follow through. He calmly told me that he wanted me to follow through because he loved me. I called him selfish and insensitive. I refused to do it. He reminded me that I always have a choice: complete the task or accept punishment.

I sat for about 20 minutes, just staring at the wall. I felt empty. I reached inside and felt nothing. No energy, no worth. Just nothing. And then I got up, and I completed my task. I didn’t do it to avoid the belt; when I initially refused, I knew I’d take the belt for it. But the idea of intentionally disobeying him…that was too much to bear. I couldn’t. So I took my nothingness and made it something. I made it into service.

A few days later when the clouds had cleared, we talked about it. “You know I couldn’t let you off the hook,” he said. “You know it would have been the worst thing for you. It would have left you feeling alone and untethered.” He was right. There were other times when he did give me permission to skip the task, but that night it would have made everything worse. I was so grateful that he held the leash tight in that moment. He reached out to me in my darkness, and he didn’t let go. And neither did I. 

I thanked him for the opportunity to submit. Then he said four words that made my heart swell. “I knew you would.”

It’s easy to submit when you have all the time and energy to devote yourself to it. But it’s much harder to submit when everything is going wrong. Dominance and submission aren’t just for when it’s easy. Many people are capable of putting on the role for short bursts. Months, even. But the moment it gets hard, they toss it aside. And they wait for a more convenient time to pick it back up again. It’s not about whether you can play the role; it’s about whether you are the role. Anything less is just D/s dress-up. 

Over his knee for the first time in a while, my mind is still busy. I’m thinking. Thinking about whether I’ll be able to take it, thinking about whether the dog will be okay downstairs, thinking about whether I should have gone pee first. I’m thinking about trying not to think. I’m thinking about how trying not to think is still thinking.

And then his strikes grow more intense. The sting snaps me back to the moment. I squirm and whimper a little, but he just keeps going.

Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right.

When thoughts come into my mind, they disappear quickly. Little bubbles popping with the force of each blow.

I really have to focus on my breathing now. Still, my mind always tries to fight the pain. It tries to go elsewhere. But I know how this works. There’s never a way around the pain; in the end, I always have to go through. And so I focus on the pain. I feel the heat of every blow soaking into my skin. I imagine lavender waves pulsing outward from his hand. They are always lavender. Soon, my mind is nothing but lavender.

Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right.

His strikes grow harder, and a whimper escapes my lips. He digs his fingers into my aching flesh. I groan. But then I feel my body relax again. My mind grows quiet. Deep breaths. And then there is nothing but the warmth of him. His body under mine. His hands hitting, grabbing, caressing me. In this moment, I do not want or need or think; I only feel. I feel what he chooses. I am shaped and reshaped by him with every touch.

Were you supposed to be using your vibrator?

“But I forgot!”

Did you have permission to use your vibrator?

“No, Sir.”

Can you just use whatever toys you want whenever you want?

“No, Sir, I know, I just-”

Yes, Sir or no, Sir is fine. I’m not looking for excuses.

“Yes, Sir.”

Do you get to just edge that cunt whenever you want to?

“No, Sir.”

Why not?

“Because it’s not mine.”

Whose is it?

“It’s yours.”

Is that just a fun thing to say to make you feel sexy?

“No! Sir, no, it’s true. It’s yours.

Then put it back on your cunt. Highest setting, and keep it there.

“Yes, Sir… oh… “

You do not touch my property without permission. Is that understood?

“Yes, Sir. Oh God, Sir I’m so close.”

I’m sure you are. You keep that vibrator pressed right up against my cunt.

“Yes, Sir, Ohhhh, oh, it’s right there. Oh please can you stop it?”

No.

“Sir, please, I’m gonna cum!”

You are not, now you will control yourself. Didn’t we just talk about this?

“Ohhhh, Sirrrr…”

That is my cunt between your legs, and I do not want it having any orgasms. Don’t I have the right to decide what happens with my own cunt?

“Yes, Sir, of course, but I- it’s so close I can’t control it.”

You will control it. Cumming is not allowed.

“Yes, Sir. I won’t… I won’t cum.”

Saturday Something

You look really needy.

“I am, Sir. Really, really needy. I didn’t cum in a long time.”

I’m glad. You’re doing a really good job being good.

“Thank you, Sir, but… I do have a really hard time edging so much and never cumming.”

Oh, I know. It is really hard.

“Yeah, it’s really hard.”

And it’s not for every girl, you know.

“It’s not?”

No, of course not, silly. Some girls can do it a little bit. Some girls can do it a lot. Some very special girls can give them up forever, but every girl is different.

“But I thought you said every girl should work on giving them up forever.”

Yes, I think every girl should, but not every girl can.

“And that’s okay?”

Sure! Here. See this blog? He’s got a nice article about how giving them up forever doesn’t have to be the goal for every girl.

“Oh, yeah…”

You see? It really isn’t for every girl.

“Yes, I see, Sir.”

Okay, good. I’m glad you talked to me about this. Now lets edge you really, really close and then take it away before we go out for dinner.

“But… Sir… can I please… maybe… may I please cum?”

What? No, you silly. You don’t cum anymore, remember?

“But you said it’s not for every girl.”

It’s not. Oh, I guess I didn’t explain it very well, so that’s my fault. It’s true, it’s not for every girl - it’s really not. But it is for you.

“Oh.”

You’re not like other girls. You’re very special. In fact, it’s because of how special you are that I’m never going to let you cum. Okay?

“I’m special?”

So special. Those other girls can have their orgasms, but not you. You’re my special girl, and you’re not ever going to cum. Did I explain it better this time?

“Yes, Sir. I think so. Much better.”