yknow, i always knew that i was more on the autistic side of the spectrum than neurotypical people are but i never thought it was by much.
today i thought a bit about a statement my friend made tho. "you got them vocal stims from the autism, huh?" in response to me singing like 5 words of a song again and again. now, i wasnt aware that singing and humming were stims but that made me think if i had any other big indicators. especially after i wasnt sure how to interpret my friends messages like 3 times in a row.
so i thought about it and technically skin picking is stimming. hm.
and i dont have meltdowns, right? but i do cry after slight changes to plans or agreements. hm.
and i dont really do anything like going non-verbal, right? but sometimes i dont answer people because i cant get myself to talk/open my mouth. hm.
and im really bad with numbers and stuff, right? but my number patterning in math is so weird but works that my tutor didnt know how to comment on it. hm.
and i dont have any special interests, right? but i only read fanfiction of the same 3 fandoms and always google new license plate area codes when i see them on the street. hm.
and i dont have sensory issues, right? but i have a mug i cant touch, a device i cant sleep with when its plugged in because of the noise and a nice sweater i never wear cause its itchy even tho others say its a super soft fabric. hm.
so uh yea, i might get myself tested for autism at some point. feels like a good next step. the 2001 test (where they still used the term aspergers, yuck) did give me a score of 35 but yknow, self diagnosing and stuff
