for all the words i cannot say

i want to go home

everyone around me is growing into themselves; somehow i got lost along the way

i wonder if you think of me half as much as i think of you, or whether i’m just another part of the past you left behind. i’ll always understand the decision. but still, i miss you.

i’m scared

i’m forgetting what it felt like when i used to speak.

it’s a strange feeling, missing things you never thought you’d have

i haven’t spoken above a whisper in six days

i have no idea who the fuck i am

people assume i’m deaf all the time, but special shout-out to the person today who asked me about hearing aids despite the fact that a) i don’t wear hearing aids b) i don’t need to wear hearing aids c) i wouldn’t have known how to answer such an uncalled-for question from a stranger even if i did

i just love paranoia,,, nothing more fun than a tiny coincidence becoming some huge life or death ‘situation’ because of Fucky Brain Chemistry,,,