Hoshi knew what being heartsick was like. He knew everything there was to know about being in love, at least, that’s what he told himself. He had stood at your side as you dated selfish prick after selfish prick, telling himself that you knew what you wanted, and what you wanted wasn’t him. He had lied when you went to parties together, saying you weren’t his girlfriend, watching as men grinned and left to prey on you now that he was out of the way. He had held your hair back as you were sick from drinking too much, held you in his arms as you cried over every heartbreak. 

If there was one thing that Hoshi knew, it was that he was heartsick for you. Every particle in his body yearned to be with yours, and it killed a little piece of him to see you struggle. 

So as any sensible boy who was in love would do, he joined a gang. Sure, it was illegal. Sure, it occasionally got him into trouble. But in his mind, it was worth it if it meant he could provide for you. Like a real boyfriend would. 

“Soonie… where did you get this from?” You ask as he hands you a small silver strawberry charm you swore you saw at the grocery store last week. You had always loved strawberries, and when he saw you admiring it the other week, he knew he had to get it for you. 

“I found it outside at the park,” Hoshi lies easily. “They must’ve dropped it or it fell off an earring. Here, let me help you attach it to your necklace.”

“Soonie, you didn’t!” You squeal in excitement as your best friend hands you a bouquet of irises, your favorite flower. He grins and leans over to kiss the top of your head. 

“Only for my Berry,” He says softly, a fond smile on his lips. “Happy birthday.” His ribs ache from the side gig he did for one of his new “friends”, but the smile on your face made it all worth it. He’d do anything to keep you smiling like that. 

“Hey Soonie. I’m just calling to say hello and ask how you’re doing. It’s been a while and you’re not picking up your phone. Is everything okay? I miss you. Holidays aren’t the same without you. Come back soon, okay? I’ll talk to you later. Goodbye.” 

Hoshi’s heart aches as he listens to your voicemail, the clamor of the black market nearly drowning out the sadness of your voice. Then he turns off his phone and shoves it into his pocket, shaking away the guilt that builds up in the pit of his stomach.