BORTLES!!!

my team: …..

Person B: Do you have any specials?

Person A, smirking: As a matter of fact, I have the perfect thing just for you

Person A slides this over the counter and winks:

Real Overwatch Fact #658:

B.O.B. participated in the Great British Bake-Off and won.

I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.

“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”

“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”

Maleficent is certainly someone you wouldn’t want at a party, but she’s also someone powerful enough that only a fool would ever dare treat her with such blatant disrespect. The only way the King and Queen could possibly have gotten away with not inviting Maleficent was to not invite any of the fairies at all; inviting the other fairies and excluding her is explicitly taking sides in the conflict between the fairy factions.

Which means they made themselves her sworn enemies, and she responded by treating them as such from then on. If you actually get into analyzing the social dynamics of the scene, it’s very clear that Maleficent was willing to show mercy at first by giving the King and Queen a chance to apologize for their disrespect to her. She doesn’t curse Aurora until after she gives them that chance and they throw it back in her face with further disrespect.

From the medieval perspective, those four fairies were all exactly alike - the blue or pink ones would’ve cursed the baby just the same if they hadn’t been invited.

But yeah, sign me up for the AU where they did invite Maleficent and she not only gives Aurora an awesome present but becomes a mentor and they end up ruling all the land with an iron fist.

werewolves stories with vampires 

gay werewolves stories with gay vampires