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@unibrowzz
Why do you love Toto so much? (I also Find him iconic But probably not as much as you)
Because he's a sexy beast who writes killer music
That is all ( ͡° ᴥ ͡°)
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ESC 2026 Predictions: How many did I get right?
Spoiler alert: Not many. I'm bad at this.
🇵🇱 Poland: Overly dramatic pop song with OTT, LED-and-strobing-effects-heavy staging that fails to deliver. Scrapes into the final, but finishes lower right hand side.
🇲🇩 Moldova: Desperately tries to be the next televote bait meme act but they've lost their sparkle. Qualifies, but misses out on the top 10.
🇧🇬 Bulgaria: Desperately tries to be the next jurybait act and is successfully dragged into the top 10 on jury support alone. "Shock" televote flop.
🇸🇪 Sweden: Back on their usual bullshit, jury heavy hitter with over 200 jury votes, but less than 100 televotes. Reclaims their crown as the 6th Place Queens they are. Nature is healing.
🇬🇧 UK: Nobody wanted to rep already them after the last 2 years, so coupled with that and the political hot potato of "do we want to be seen endorsing Israeli war crimes by acting like nothing's happening", they're forced to send Daz Sampson again as he's the only person willing to end his career in such a way, and go on to score their second double nil. The BBC miraculously does not pull out in 2027.
🇵🇹 Portugal: The dishonour of representing them at Eurovision is passed all the way down the FdC scoreboard until they reach that One Band who actually want to compete. They DQ. The ghost of Terry Wogan possesses RTP from now on and they proceed to spend the 2027 season grumbling about political voting only to regrettably show up again in 2027.
🇮🇹 Italy: Similar situation as Portugal, only this time the winner of Sanremo publicly denounces Italy's participation in the face of Israel's actions in Gaza and is promptly ushered off stage. They go radio silent for a few days until eventually announcing their participant. Unlike Portugal however, they at least auto-qualify and are competent enough to smoothly cruise into the top 10 with equal jury and public support. Song does gangbusters on Spotify.
🇫🇷 France: Is now struggling to find popular artists willing to rep them despite their success over the last 2 years, as again, nobody young and hip wants to be caught dead at this thing any more. Eventually finds someone and finishes somewhere mid-table after being kneecapped by the running order. (Edit: I will say, there is something VERY telling about France sending an American this year.)
🇧🇪 Belgium: Sends some flashy, openly queer Voice reject with a competent song and incompetent staging and painfully weak live vocals. "Shock" NQ.
🇫🇮 Finland: Forced to pull out after being unable to find anyone willing to enter UMK. Tries and fails to make it seem like a budget thing and not a politics thing. Probably gets called out by multiple former contestants for lying.
🇱🇹 Lithuania: Sends one of Käärijaä's buddies for the real televote bait meme song of the year. Predictably tanked by the juries but hauled into a top 3 finish by the televote.
🇨🇿 Czechia: Sends a band with their usual flavour of Czech Techno™️. Hugely popular with the fanbase, though they seem more invested in the band's "lovable rogue" social media presence than their actual song. Performance comes with a strobe lights trigger warning and the proceed to become the real shock NQ of the night.
🇦🇹 Austria: Hosts have all the charisma of roadkill and no amount of smiley TV hostess veneer can cover the fear of helming this thing should shit hit the fan during the voting. The distinct absense of 2025 winner JJ is haphazardly covered by a weirdly unfunny cover of Rise Like a Phoenix performed by a popular local comedian who's not a drag queen, and a tribute to the late Udo Jurgens by a local children's choir.
🇩🇰 Denmark: Greenlandic artist enters DMGP and crushes the televote. They do surprisingly well at ESC despite the song being painfully mid.
🇬🇷 Greece: The head of EPT gets on their knees and gives the head of KAN the sloppiest blowjob ever caught on camera live on stage in front of everyone. The EBU does nothing to censor this. ARD 🇩🇪 follows suit.
Y’know I think there's certainly something very very telling about the fact the last two contests hosted at the Wiener Stadthalle were won by songs with extremely confined staging concepts and tight camerawork.
I will say, huge W for Ireland pulling out of Eurovision 2026, massive L for airing an episode of Father Ted in its place.
35 MILLION LESS VIEWERS
THE BOYCOTTS ARE WORKING
NEVER GIVE UP
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Eurovision Fact #1384:
Malta's PBS has kept quiet about the total cost of their extensive ad campaign for Eurovision which included billboards, full-page ad spreads in foreign newspapers and more. When asked directly about the price of the campaign, Culture Minister Owen Bonnici simply thanked Aidan for representing Malta and said it was the government's duty to support the Maltese Eurovision entry.
This is not the first time PBS has refused to share the cost of Eurovision-related expenses, citing "commerical sensitivity."
[Source]
"World tour, adverts and billboards... but PBS keeps Eurovision bill under wraps," timesofmalta.com.
What do you expect from Eurovision in the Balkans?
At this point I'll be floored if any meaningful cultural showcases make it through.
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Eurovision Fact #1380:
In an interview, Eurovision Executive Producer Gert Kark claimed responsibility for "the scandal" of Finland's representative Linda Lampenius being able to play her violin live. He said that it was a new rule change for this year that allowed her to play, and other nations simply had not read the ever-changing rules carefully enough to understand why she was allowed to perform live, which is why they were taken aback.
[Source]
"Eurovisiooni peaprodutsent Gert Kark: Venemaa ei tule kindlasti tagasi," eeter.err.ee.
how do you reconcile with liking morally imprehensible content and problematic media?
i dont reconcile w anything bc i dont give a shit thanks for sending me this batshit ask tho
"bangaranga" I whisper while shaking from fear
Eurovision Fact #1375:
Valentyn Leshchynskyi, a member of Ziferblat (Ukraine 2026) took to social media to say that he was responsible for Ukraine handing out one jury point to the United Kingdom in the 2026 Eurovision Song Contest.
[Sources]
"Valentyn from Ziferblat was the juror who secured Look Mum No Computer's 1 point," u/_pierogii, r/Eurovision, reddit.com.
Detailed Voting Results Vienna 2026: Ukraine, Eurodex, Eurovision App.
Participants of Basel 2025: Ziferblat, Eurodex, Eurovision App.
Isn’t it kinda crazy that it was 8 competitions since the last first time winner (Bulgaria 2026- Portugal 2017) meanwhile in the 2000s eight years in a row the winning country had never won before (Estonia 2001, Latvia, Turkey, Ukraine, Greece, Finland, Serbia, Russia 2008)
Anyway conspiracy theories aside congrats DARA!
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follow for more really bad posts on things nobody wants to hear about at all
Something less controversial I’d love to see an explanation for is the UK’s performance in the last few years.
I can give Olly Alexander a pass, that was possibly zero points worthy. But Remember Monday was catchy, smart, and lovable. LMNC was not only an excellent dance track (and dance tracks did well this year otherwise), it was incredibly well staged and just unique enough to be different and memorable.
Why does the UK get zero points so often? Is there something I’m missing? This is a genuine question btw from someone outside Europe!
Short answer: They try to assume what the audience "wants" but don't have their finger on the pulse so can't gauge it well enough.
Long answer:
The UK hasn't always been terrible at Eurovision, up until the early 00s they were one of the biggest contenders for the crown each year, much like Sweden usually is nowadays.
However it should be noted that up until 1999 there was a rule in place that countries HAD to sing in their native language, which led to a lot of bias towards English language songs.
With that rule lifted and the influx of a LOT of new countries between 1994 and 2007 due to the collapse of the USSR and Yugoslavia, the UK suddenly had a lot more competition than they had previously.
Plus they also had to contend with the fact that the public could vote for their favourite songs from the late 90s onwards, meaning songs now had two audiences to impress: the national jury and the voting public.
Since then they've struggled to accurately gauge what Eurovision audiences actually want to see, among other things such as poor song promotion, a xenophobic attitude towards their competitors, weak staging concepts and live performances, and a generally snobby, self pitying, "everyone hates us" attitude towards the whole thing certainly haven't helped.
In my own personal opinion, the UK REALLY shoots itself in the foot by composing its songs specifically for Eurovision and not letting the artist pick a preexisting recent song from their own catalogue that meets the criteria. The UK has this preconceived idea of what a "Eurovision song" should be like, and their ideas often result in generally weak songs. There's a reason our most successful song since 1998 was a song the artist had released prior to being approached by the BBC and being asked to compete, and I suspect it's the fact the song was never even intended as a Eurovision song in the first place. I don't know why the BBC hasn't stuck to this formula since, honestly.
It is, categorically, NOT about Brexit (since the UK had a poor performance record prior to 2016 anyway), NOT because "Europe hates us" (look at who came second this year and last), and certainly NOT because "they all just vote for their neighbours" (Portugal has one of the highest scores ever recorded whilst only bordering Spain + Germany, who border 9 countries, have only ever won TWICE, which is less than the UK who've won 5 times).
